Break Free of Victim Mentality

5 December 2010-12-05

1.         Introduction

• Romans 8:34-39

“Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us”

• Paul lists a number of different situations but also a decisive outcome.
• “More than conquerors” = to gain a decisive victory; vanquish totally; gain surpassing victory in every situation.
• We are no longer victims to circumstances or tragedies – we are more than conquerors.
• God’s love expressed in our heart – the Love of the Father – frees us from victim-hood.

2.         Victim Mentality is a Way of Seeing and Relating

• Victim is a person who is abused, hurt, or oppressed by another and is unable to break free.
• Victim Mentality is a person who refuses to take responsibility for their life and blames others for what they are experiencing in life.
• A way of thinking and interpreting life that comes from unresolved offences, grief, bitterness and heart beliefs.

Proverbs 23:7 “As a man thinks in his heart so he is”.

· Example of Israel – Slaves in Egypt (victims under a harsh taskmaster)

Exodus 15:22-25 “The people complained against Moses”

Their temporary hardship and difficulty caused their bitterness to show.

They looked for someone to blame.

The remedy – God revealed His Father’s Love that healed their situation.

· Example of the Older Brother – Slaves in the Father’s house (slaves to the law)

· Luke 15:25-31 “He was angry and would not go in”

· The elder son served – worked hard but had no revelation of the Father’s Love.

· He substituted works for relationship and believed he was right.

· Personal example:

Emotionally/relationally isolated – (past unresolved).

Worked hard to gain approval (heart belief).

Developed “Victim Mentality” in many areas of life.

Journey of revelation of Father’s love and healing.

Key issues:

– breaking patterns of isolating in pain and resolving heart pain.

· Elder Brother

Isolated                  Blamed            Justified self                Bitterness

Closed spirit          Judged            Wrong beliefs              Anger

3.         Victim Mentality sabotages Relationships

“Victims” interpret life/relationships through their heart’s bitterness

            (i) I am a victim = not my fault, hurt, I am right, withdraws

            (ii) You are my persecutor = it is your fault, you are against me, attack

            (iii) I need a rescuer = someone must come through for me, meet my needs

· “Victims” are unable to develop emotional intimacy because they believe they are “unlovable”.

· It is easier to play the role of the victim than to assume responsibility.

· Note: A person with a victim mentality will play all 3 roles.

4.         Steps out of the Victim Mentality

(i) Become Aware of your Thinking/Behaviour

Questions to ask yourself -    

· Patterns of relationships that is ugly?

· History of hurting or being hurt?

· Blame self or others often for things going wrong?

· Frequent feelings of anger?

· Childhood experiences?

(i) Yelling

(ii) Sexual abuse

(iii) Struggle with feelings, openness, over-ridden

(iv) Rejection, abandonment, other types of loss

(v) Life threatening emotional experiences

· Felt smothered or unimportant in the family.

(ii) Ownership of Pain and Vulnerability

· There can be no freedom without responsibility

· What are the feelings? What are the beliefs?

· What are the expectations?

· What events in the past have been some of these issues?

(iii) Ask the Holy Spirit to Uncover the Roots

· Painful experiences that impact and how they relate?

· Personal reactions – anger, bitterness, judgements?

· Beliefs, expectations and inner vows formed in the heart.

(iv) Yield to the Holy Spirit’s direction on how to resolve them?

· Personal ministry and counsel?

· Repentance

· Forgiveness

· Renouncing judgements and inner vows

(v) Work on Renewing the Beliefs

· What is the old belief?

· What is the truth?

· Meditate – embrace – confess the truth – ask the Holy Spirit to reveal love.

(vi) Practise Giving and Receiving Love

· Refuse old patterns of isolating

· Connect and practise giving and receiving love

· Romans 8:14-15