‘The Blame Game – Part 2’

15 March 2009


  1. Introduction:

·   Genesis 1:26-28  -  “God blessed them … subdue and have dominion…”

·   Man loves challenges it is part of who we are, inside us. Man without challenges lives in defeat.

·   From the beginning we were made to step up and subdue. Adam and Eve started the blame game = shift the responsibility to someone else.

·   Blessed = 1288 = to speak words full of life and empowerment into people.

·   God empowered man with free will and the ability to overcome challenges in life.

·   Subdue = 3533 = to conquer, overcome => there are challenges, opposition, difficulties.

·   Dominion = 7278 = to prevail, reign over => you have freedom and creativity in extending God’s rule.

·   After the fall – A culture of blame = making excuses and shifting the responsibility – “It’s not my fault”.

·   Freedom and Responsibility work together – if you want Freedom, you must be Responsible.

   E.g. child: as a child takes responsibility, so it will get freedom.

·   God gives us Freedom to make choices. God requires responsibility for those choices.

·   As an adult it is your responsibility to maintain freedom by being responsible


  1. How People Learn to be ‘Helpless’:

Proverbs 23:7  -  “As he thinks in his heart so is he”.

·   Whatever you believe will outwork in your life

·   God wants to shift us from living in bondage and to discover our destiny.

·   Learned Helplessness/Powerless:

Experiment by scientists with animals in situations where no choice resulted in a good outcome

-    Animals leaned to think – not matter what it did – no good will come of it. They learn they can never win.

-    They gave up, quit trying, endured helpless/powerless condition even when opportunity was made for escape.

-    They learn to be helpless – resigned “nothing I do will make any difference”.

·   Past Experiences can form Limiting Beliefs

(beliefs that can limit us,– limiting ways of thinking).

·   E.g. “No matter what I do”         - ‘Can never please dad’

-    ‘Someone still gets angry’

-    ‘Never get approval’

-    ‘Always criticized’

·   Result: People stop trying- they bury emotions of resentment, anger, bitterness, hate

·   People develop beliefs about themselves – ‘I can’t’. ‘I am not good enough’.

·   New Experiences surface Old Beliefs – limited thinking, feel helpless, think “no choice”.

·   E.g. ‘No one told me’                  

    ‘I talked to him – wouldn’t listen’       

    ‘I tried talking to the husband, he wouldn’t listen’   

    ‘I tried to talk to mum, she just got angry’

    ‘I tried counseling, it didn’t help me’

    ‘I tried to get a date, no good ones out there’

    ‘I am waiting for God to provide’                               ‘I prayed and nothing happened’

·    Note: in each situation: The person blames circumstances/people – they feel they have no choice! They feel helpless. They learn to strive, compete, drive or give up. They grieve and live in despair, loneliness and powerless.

·   If you blame others it is not God’s fault, you still have a choice. Your problem is your problem; no one can pray it away for you. Some people cover it with super religious thinking.

·   You always have a choice! It may not be the one you prefer! May be it is a choice you have not thought of yet.

·   New experiences bring unresolved emotionsto the surface so that you can face them and handle them differently(i.e. Make better choices).

·   You choose what you do on a bad day, how you handle your emotions and your beliefs.

·   Some people cloak themselves with helplessness and God can not move in their lives.

·   A day has turned out different from what you expect. Take responsibility and ownership, break limiting beliefs make positive choices how you will respond.

·   Philippians 4:13 – “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. You make a decision to give it a go.

·   Strengthen = 1743 = endunamoo = to clothe with supernatural ability


3)     God’s Process of Change:

·   Israel learned to be helpless (slaves) in Egypt. Israel = Church now. God delivered them. Jesus saved us. God have a great destiny. We need to grow and be wiling to accept it.

·   Israel continued to limit God because they would not change – Psalm 78:41

·   1 Corinthians 10:6  -  Israel is a lesson to learn from or to repeat  – an example for US to learn from.

·   What lessons did God want them to learn? 1 Corinthians 10:13

·   Problems are common to every person, every one has problems.

·   God is faithful, He will help you – You can rely on His Word and character. God started the work; surely He will finish the work. You can trust and rely on Him.

·   You have the ability to handle every challenge of life.

·   God always makes a way through for us; you have to look for it. Walk through the problem, God will help you through it. New experiences comes you way to change you.

·   You always have a choice

·   An Overview of Change:

Exodus 6:6-8  -  God wanted to change them, the way they were thinking. He allowed them to experience challenges where theycould choose to believe and trust God.

The same with us – we have an opportunity to think/belief and act differently. God wanted them to learn how to trust Him. We have the initiative to make things happen, to change out of the old will get you there. The challenge is to stop excuses and blaming, stop to be powerless and trust and belief in God.

·   Stop blame = welcome challenges and change. We disqualify ourselves from out destiny, purpose and blessing if we blame,complain, and make excuses.

        EGYPT                 ->                   WILDERNESS                    ->                     CANAAN

Place of slavery                   Place of training/preparation              Place of opportunity/conquest

Loneliness/Isolation             Connection to the Lord                         Intimacy – walk in spirit

Powerless                              God is Powerful/Faithfull                       God is in me – Powerful

No choice                             Learn to choose to belief                     Walk by faith, daily choice

Blame/excuses                    Learn responsibility                                 Take initiative- –subdue

    (Unsaved)                               (Growing Believer)                                    (Apostolic Believer)

·         How did God work to change Israel?

-          He created new experiences of difficulty – opportunity to make new choices.

-          Deuteronomy 8:2-3  -  “… the He might make you know that man does not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God”.

-          Israel’s constant response:   - think and act like  slave

-    complain and blame Exodus 16:2, 7-8

-    We are not able – we can’t – Numbers 13:30-32

-          If you think, act and behave like a slave, you will be a slave even if you are free.


4)  How you can break Free of Learned Helplessness:

Romans 5:13  -  “Now! May the God of all hope fill you with joy and peace in believing that you might abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit”.

       - God will provide the new experiences and use them to help you grow.

Your responsibility:

1)      Resolve Bitter Roots – change how you live your live. Admit this – leave pain, grief and resentment behind, or you cannot move into the things that God has for you – give it to the Lord. :

·   Hebrews 12:15  -  “... looking carefully lest any of you should fall short of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble and by this many become defeated”.

·   Ask the Holy Spirit to uncover any hidden roots from experiences of being powerless.

- anger   - resentment   - self pity           - grief   - unbelief   - hopelessness

- Bitter expectations (belief) = “nothing I can do ….”, ‘Hopeless”

·   Repent from it and release it to the Lord.


2)      Embrace New Challenges as Opportunities to Grow (Process):

·   You have to choose to grow, choose to change.

You reap what you have sown = when you agree with old thoughts, powerlessness then you behave in the same old ways and you reap the same results.

·   God is committed to your character not your comfort.

·   New situations give opportunities for new responses

·   Spend time with God, meditate on scripture, get near Him and develop awareness of His presence and Power in you.

·   You are not a victim.



Problem -> Feeling (Helpless) -> Think Powerless      = Blame/excuse       => Reap Consequences


Problem -> Identify feelings   -> Challenge thinking = Assume responsibility => Reap Benefits


Mark 9:23  -  “If you can believe … all things are possible to him that believes”.


          * Ask the Lord for Wisdom         * Look for Opportunities         * Take action and Persist