The Blame Game

8 February 2009


  1. Introduction:

·   “It is not my fault!”, “Can’t blame me for that!”

·   People think, act and behave as the culture around them, does as everyone else does.

·   When you blame someone else you stay powerless to change your situation.

·   God wants us to be empowered as believers.

·   To walk in faith enquire us to take responsibility.

·   Culture = the behaviors and beliefs that are characteristic of as group of people e.g. Youth Culture; Drug Culture; also Blame Culture

·   Culture of Blame = people rather blame anyone or anything for their misery than to take responsibility to own the problem and make it better.

·   Blame = makes people ‘feel better’

               = does nothing to solve the problem

               = people think, feel and act as if there is nothing they can do.

·   Core = instead of taking ownership of their problem in doing something about it, blame others or something, assigned responsibility of condition outside self.

·   Example: USA – 2 overweight girls blamed McDonalds for their eating habits – sued McDonalds.

·   Examples:  People Blame : Father / Mother / Teachers / Church / Pastors / Government/


                       Background/Experiences/Lack of Education/Lack of Opportunities

·   Key issues: Will you stop blaming and start taking responsibility?

·   Is God my source or not? Do we blame or excuse ourselves for what is going on inside us?

·   Learn to play the cards you were dealt, stop wishing for a new hand of cards.

·   To be powerless, remain victim = blame.

·   You are who you are because of the choices you make.

·   It’s not what happened to you, it’s how you respond to them/it.


  1. You are Designed for Dominion:

Genesis 1:26-28  -  “Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it, have dominion …”

·   God’s great gift to man – Free Will – ability to choose!

·   You are able to desire and make choices, take responsibility for your desires and dreams.

·   “Subdue’ = there are challenges, opposition, difficulties.

·   Dominion = you are given freedom how you will respond, creativity

·   You cannot always choose what happens to you.

·   You can always choose how you will respond – choice to make!

·   Man given:

1)      Freedom to make creative choices

2)      Responsibilities for the consequences experienced for each choice.

·   Genesis 2:19  -  “ …God brought the animals to Adam to see what he could name them”

·   God expected Adam to take responsibility - make creative choices.

·   Option 1 – Make a creative choice.

   Option 2 – Blame God for not supplying a list of names, expecting too much.


·   We can pray to God for grace but we have a part to play in it too. Think through what you can do before you blame. Be creative in finding solutions. He will help us.

·   Faith = Action

·   People make bad choices not to face the consequences and expect others to come through for them = blame game.

·   God expects you to use the freedom you have.

i)        Take responsibility for the situation

ii)       Find creative options

iii)     Take action

·   God allows us to experience the consequences of our choices.


3)     How the Blame Game Started:

Genesis 3:1-13  -  ‘diverting attention by blaming’

·   Adam blamed God and blamed Eve.

·   Why blame others? Why blame circumstances? = divert attention

·   They blame others instead of taking responsibility for their actions/decisions and didn’t ask for forgiveness so that God could give them another chance.

·   It is easier to divert attention by blaming than assuming responsibility. Get the attention away from me onto someone else.

·   Blame diverts attention:  1) owning responsibility  2) solving the problem

·   People rather blame than take responsibility and solve the problem.

·   When Adam blamed Eve, God stopped talking; the next time He talked He told them their consequences.

·   Think how God thinks, don’t play the blame game. With choices come consequences.

·   Proverbs 19:3 -  ‘a mans folly ruins his life yet his heart rages against God’

·   God always hold us responsible and accountable for our actions.

·   If blame comes, take responsibility, don’t blame someone or something else, think of a creative way to fix it to succeed in life.


4)  “Well, it’s not my fault!”

       1 Samuel 15:1-3,9  -  Saul fails to fulfill God given assignment.

·   We are priests and kings as believers, we are all called to enter the community to move supernaturally – there is no other option = this is an assignment to us now. We cannot change God’s plan, if the church change it we are in deep trouble. If we change the plan and pick the bits we like and leave other things out. Go out and change the culture, ARISE = plan of God.

·   Saul was positioned and anointed by God as a King.

·   Saul was expected to fulfill God given assignments.

·   Saul obeyed partially – did what he agreed with.

·   Samuel confronts Saul: Defensive responses

i)        Denial   - when face with painful reality Saul denied it - verses 13,20

-          Denial protects people from pain facing issues/ignores.

-          Saul – ‘bless the Lord, I have done what God wanted”. Samuel heard lams bleating and asked Saul about them. Saul did have the plan God instructed to him. Does God hear bleating in the church?

ii)       Minimizing – look for ways in doing damage control by making the issue smaller than it is, to avoid pain for us.

iii)     Excuses/Blame - admit there is a problem but refuse any responsibility,                                     “Yes, but …” = excuses, people wanted to take the best; it is them they didn’t want to get rid of the good stuff.

iv)    Rationalise – admit there is a problem but explain it away – ‘Spin Doctor’ – Make it look good.

·   He tried to fob off what God wanted him to do. He didn’t own his responsibility.

·   Defensive people = not taking responsibility, act like victims and play the blame game.

·   Even when made to face responsibility Saul wanted to keep us appearances to look good before people.

·   Defensiveness is a major form of avoiding personal responsibility -  verse 25,30.

·   Saul’s consequence = he lost his right to rule.

·   We are anointed as priests and kings. We are able to go and reach out to people and win them to Jesus Christ through prayer and faith action. Have you embraced this? This is God’s plan.

·   If we personally don’t take responsibility of our own life, we loose our ability to do it, we become oppressed = no anointing or empowerment in our own life to fulfill Gods instructions. We make the choice and God will be with us.


5)   You Always have a Choice:

Deuteronomy 30:19  -  “I set before you life and death, blessing and cursing therefore choose life that both you and your seed may live”

·         You always have a choice!

       -  It may not be the preferred one but there is always an option.

·         All choices have consequences!

-          Blaming is a choice! The consequence for this = helpless, resentful

-          The choice you make affects the next generation. Put you arms around them even if God didn’t create them, use your creativeness to change.

·         Life is Not Fair or Just – Accept that Reality!

-          People wish for a world that is just and fair where people do, what people should do and good thing happen to good people.

-          Stop sitting protesting, ‘Not fair” and blaming others.

-          Deal with life as it is – not what it should be.

-          ‘God enables me to change the bad in my life/this messed up world to make great decisions. God is with me, I can make a difference.’

-          W sinned? = man.  Who took the responsibility? = Jesus (for everyone’s failures). Jesus didn’t go to the Father telling Him of His bad plan. We together can make a change.

-          Acknowledge sins and Jesus will forgive.

·         Stop blaming – Take Responsibility – Look for Options:

-          face reality as it is – own responsibility to initiate change.


             E.g.  Jesus:  Took responsibility for the sins of the World.

                                 Able to offer hope and a different future.