1. Introduction
· Ps 11:3 If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?
· Foundation (8356) – basis, purpose, that which forms the ground to build upon.
· Dilemma facing parents – conflicting opinions, loss understanding of their role.
· Common ideas Þ spring from what is believed.
· Eg, Parent treats child as equal, parents reason with child as adult, children rights.
· Jer 6:16 Ask!
· Bible = word of God gives foundation of truth to build family life and relationships.
= rejection of word of God Þ “spoiled by philosophy” Col 2:8
2. God’s Promises to Parents
· Prov 10:1 “Wise son makes a glad father, foolish son is the heaviness of his mother”.
· Prov 29:15, 17 “Correct thy son and he shall give you rest, he shall give delight”.
· Wise person = one who bases his life upon truth.
· Fool = one who goes his own way, ignores direction, rebels.
· When child is not properly trained there is shame and sadness.
· No amount of material benefits ever take place of caring enough to train.
· “Left to himself” Þ animal in pasture without fences, boundaries, restraint
Þ subject to his own feelings, will.
3. God Holds Parents Accountable
· Ps 127:3 “Children are a heritage of the Lord”.
· God has purpose and plan for everything He creates – children entrustment.
· Heritage = something inherited * genetically from parents.
* spirit/soul is from God.
· God has set children in specific family for purpose – parents responsible.
a) Parents are required to train their children
· Prov 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go” (Dt 6:6-7)
· Training requires you teach and that your teaching is accepted.
· Before child receives your teaching must first honour your position.
· Children are required to honour and obey parents.
b) Eph 6:1-2 Children obey … honour your father and your mother
· Honour = respect, fix a value upon, make place in heart and life.
· Parents are to be respected because of the position and authority God has given.
· Parents have right to rule, direct because God gave that right to them.
· It is not earned or deserved – it is given by God.
· Position of honour has requirements – established by God for a purpose.
· Parents must understand their positioning and accept the responsibility.
· Parents must give account for how they fulfilled their responsibility.
4. God Gives Parents Authority
a) Meaning of authority
· Rom 13:1-4
· Word “authority” causes negative response Þ people don’t understand meaning/negative experience.
· Parents have abdicated authority – misunderstood or withdrawn from proper use.
· Authority (1849) exousia = delegated right to rule, direct, exercise power.
· Source of authority is God Himself – no limit to His authority (Dan 4:35).
· God calls every person to place himself under position of authority.
· People in authority are “ministers of God” – directed to carry out His will and to administer justice.
b) Parental authority
· Eph 6:1-2 “Children obey … honour”. (Ex 20:12)
· Obey = to hear under, listen attentively and act upon the direction command.
= doing what told to do whether you want to or not.
· Honour = to respect, value, fix value upon.
· Note: Because of God given position – parents have right to set their will above the will of their children and insist they follow their direction.
· Parents also have the right and power to administer justice and to confront and punish disobedience.
· If a child continually disrespects or disobeys parents – not likely to respect God or respect any form of authority that crosses his will.
· Example: Disrespect - children call parent by first name.
- children speak sharply, angrily at parent.
- children continually demanding.
- children relate as “buddies”.
· Note: Friendship with the child is the end result of proper training.
· John 15:14-15 God requires obedience (respect) before become friends.
· You cannot become friend of God without respect resulting in obedience.
· Discipline Þ Training Þ Coaching Þ Friendship
· Since God has placed you in authority – need to function as one with right to rule.
· Example: - children need to know you are in charge and you make decisions.
- decisions on bedtime, food, activities, TV, friends, belong to parent until
child is trained to make right decisions.
- parents are responsible to direct what to do and enforce obedience.
- parental authority must be exercised with restraint and consistency.
· Note: God will not tolerate disrespect and disobedience. Matt 15:4; Ex 21:15; Prov 30:17
c) Parental responsibility
· Prov 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go”.
· Parent’s position and authority is for a purpose – responsible for training.
· Why? Prov 22:15 “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child”.
· Train (2596) – to narrow, discipline, initiate.
Þ to start the child moving in a specific direction.
Þ to not allow him to follow path his nature desires.
Þ to narrow, restrict path child is to follow.
Þ to direct what is agreeable with God’s standards; not control future.
· Example: Vineyard; athlete; skill training.
· Default Þ ignore negative traits; fail to enforce standards.
Þ reinforce negative traits ie, how child responds to instruction.
· Example: - after 3 x times?
- after threats?
- after shouts?
- allowing argument, question.
- allowing child decide when.
- allowing excuses.
· Clear instruction Discipline 0 – 5
· Consequences of disobedience Train 6 – 12
· Consistency in handling Coach 13 - 19
Friend 20+
What are the world’s values for the discipline of children?
What effects have you seen with these styles of parenting?
How have these values affected/influenced your parenting (or view of parenting)?
What does God expect of children?
What are the rewards for the children?
What part do parents have to play in this?
Prov 22:6; 22:15
Whose responsibility is it to train up a child?
What does it mean to train up a child?
How does this happen?
What changes do you need to make to your parenting?