TRAIN UP A CHILD

1.      Introduction

·           Ps 11:3   If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?

·           Foundation (8356) – basis, purpose, that which forms the ground to build upon.

·           Dilemma facing parents – conflicting opinions, loss understanding of their role.

·           Common ideas Ž spring from what is believed.

·           Eg, Parent treats child as equal, parents reason with child as adult, children rights.

·           Jer 6:16  Ask!

·           Bible    = word of God gives foundation of truth to build family life and relationships.

                  = rejection of word of God Ž “spoiled by philosophy”  Col 2:8

 

2.      God’s Promises to Parents

·           Prov 10:1  “Wise son makes a glad father, foolish son is the heaviness of his mother”.

·           Prov 29:15, 17  “Correct thy son and he shall give you rest, he shall give delight”.

·           Wise person = one who bases his life upon truth.

·           Fool = one who goes his own way, ignores direction, rebels.

·           When child is not properly trained there is shame and sadness.

·           No amount of material benefits ever take place of caring enough to train.

·           Left to himself”      Ž animal in pasture without fences, boundaries, restraint

                                    Ž subject to his own feelings, will.

 

3.      God Holds Parents Accountable

·           Ps 127:3  “Children are a heritage of the Lord”.

·           God has purpose and plan for everything He creates – children entrustment.

·           Heritage = something inherited        * genetically from parents.

                                                            * spirit/soul is from God.

·           God has set children in specific family for purpose – parents responsible.

a)      Parents are required to train their children

·           Prov 22:6  “Train up a child in the way he should go”  (Dt 6:6-7)

·           Training requires you teach and that your teaching is accepted.

·           Before child receives your teaching must first honour your position.

·           Children are required to honour and obey parents.

b)      Eph 6:1-2  Children obey … honour your father and your mother

·           Honour = respect, fix a value upon, make place in heart and life.

·           Parents are to be respected because of the position and authority God has given.

·           Parents have right to rule, direct because God gave that right to them.

·           It is not earned or deserved – it is given by God.

·           Position of honour has requirements – established by God for a purpose.

·           Parents must understand their positioning and accept the responsibility.

·           Parents must give account for how they fulfilled their responsibility.

 

4.      God Gives Parents Authority

a)      Meaning of authority

·           Rom 13:1-4

·           Word “authority” causes negative response Ž people don’t understand meaning/negative experience.

·           Parents have abdicated authority – misunderstood or withdrawn from proper use.

·           Authority (1849) exousia = delegated right to rule, direct, exercise power.

·           Source of authority is God Himself – no limit to His authority (Dan 4:35).

·           God calls every person to place himself under position of authority.

·           People in authority are “ministers of God” – directed to carry out His will and to administer justice.

 

b)      Parental authority

·           Eph 6:1-2  “Children obey … honour”.  (Ex 20:12)

·           Obey   = to hear under, listen attentively and act upon the direction command.

                  = doing what told to do whether you want to or not.

·           Honour = to respect, value, fix value upon.

·           Note:  Because of God given position – parents have right to set their will above the will of their children and insist they follow their direction.

·           Parents also have the right and power to administer justice and to confront and punish disobedience.

·           If a child continually disrespects or disobeys parents – not likely to respect God or respect any form of authority that crosses his will.

 

·           ExampleDisrespect      - children call parent by first name.

                                             - children speak sharply, angrily at parent.

                                             - children continually demanding.

                                             - children relate as “buddies”.

·           Note:  Friendship with the child is the end result of proper training.

·           John 15:14-15   God requires obedience (respect) before become friends.

·           You cannot become friend of God without respect resulting in obedience.

·           Discipline Ž Training Ž Coaching Ž Friendship

·           Since God has placed you in authority – need to function as one with right to rule.

·           Example:   - children need to know you are in charge and you make decisions.

                        - decisions on bedtime, food, activities, TV, friends, belong to parent until

                           child is trained to make right decisions.

                        - parents are responsible to direct what to do and enforce obedience.

                        - parental authority must be exercised with restraint and consistency.

·           Note:  God will not tolerate disrespect and disobedience.  Matt 15:4; Ex 21:15; Prov 30:17

 

c)      Parental responsibility

·           Prov 22:6   “Train up a child in the way he should go”.

·           Parent’s position and authority is for a purpose – responsible for training.

·           WhyProv 22:15  “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child”.

·           Train (2596) – to narrow, discipline, initiate.

Ž to start the child moving in a specific direction.

Ž to not allow him to follow path his nature desires.

Ž to narrow, restrict path child is to follow.

Ž to direct what is agreeable with God’s standards; not control future.

·           Example:  Vineyard; athlete; skill training.

 

Training occurs by default

·           Default      Ž ignore negative traits; fail to enforce standards.

                        Ž  reinforce negative traits ie, how child responds to instruction.

·           Example:         - after 3 x times?

                              - after threats?

                              - after shouts?

                              - allowing argument, question.

                              - allowing child decide when.

                              - allowing excuses.

 

 

Training occurs by design

·           Clear instruction                                            Discipline                0 – 5

·           Consequences of disobedience                     Train                       6 – 12

·           Consistency in handling                                 Coach                     13 - 19

                                                                           Friend                     20+

 


 

APPLICATION QUESTIONS

 

 

What are the world’s values for the discipline of children?

 

What effects have you seen with these styles of parenting?

 

How have these values affected/influenced your parenting (or view of parenting)?

 

 

Eph 6:1-2

What does God expect of children?

What are the rewards for the children?

What part do parents have to play in this?

 

 

Prov 22:6; 22:15

Whose responsibility is it to train up a child?

What does it mean to train up a child?

How does this happen?

What changes do you need to make to your parenting?