1.    Introduction

Eph 5:22-23  “Wives submit yourself unto your own husbands as unto the Lord”

·         God has created an order in the relationships, husband and wife.

·         God sees them of equal value and desires them to flow together in life as a team.

·         God has set the husband as spiritual head ie, leader of his wife and holds him responsible.

Husbands: Love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it.

      Wives: Submit yourselves to own husbands as unto the Lord.

·         As (5613) – in the same manner that follows; using as a model the example that follows.

·         Submit (5293)Hupotasso – position, arrange in orderly manner, arrange in battle array ie, position yourself in God’s order and leading, recognising husbands role so can be blessed.

·         Own à applies only in relationships to own husband not to another man.


2.    5 Biblical Reasons for Wife to Submit to Husband

i)      It is God’s order for the husband/wife relationship.

Eph 5:22-24  “The husband is the head”

ii)     It brings honour to God and His Word.

Tit 2:4  “that Word of God not be blasphemed”

·         Blaspheme (987) – to speak against, speak evil of, hinder the effect of.

·         Note: God’s Word gave freedom and value to women in a society that oppressed them.


iii)    It gives great influence upon husband.

1 Pet 3:1  “also won without the word by the manner of life of their wives”

iv)   It is precious to God and attractive to men.

1 Pet 3:4  “meek and quite spirit which is in sight of God of great price”

Great price (4185) – extremely expensive, costly, very precious

v)    It releases authority to protect and direct the family.

Mt 18:19  “Two or three of you agree

Agree (4856)sumphoneo – to be harmonious, to sound in accord.

Mt 12:25  “every … house divided against itself cannot stand”

To submit:       Act of recognition of the role God has given the husband.

                        Act of faith – trusting in Lord to work out matters.

                        Act of positioning self for God to bless.

·         It is a proactive step made in response to leading of the Holy Spirit.

·         It does not mean becoming passive and subject to abuse or domination.





3.    Led by the Spirit not under the Law

·         Jesus came to give us life - more abundantly.

·         This life is not found in living by laws and rules but by a relationship.

a)    Legalism = living by a demand to perform, to meet up to some standard

·         Bible reveals 2 ways God related to man.  Old Testament = Law – external demand.  New Testament = Grace.

·         In both Old Testament and New Testament those who pleased God were people of faith(Heb 11:6)

·         Faith arises as Holy Spirit speaks to us how God wants us to live.  (Ro 10:17)

·         2 ways can attempt to live.  (i) by laws.  (ii) by leading of Holy Spirit

·         John 8 – woman caught in adultery – Moses law says – what do you say?

·         Law creates demand; either/or; leads to hypocrisy, pretending.  (Lk 12:1)

b)    Legalism brings people into bondage and spiritual death

·         2 Cor 3:6-7  “The letter of the law kills but the Spirit gives life”

·         Any Bible teaching no matter how accurate can bring evil bondage to people.

·         Living by rules and laws and demands à live outside God’s leading and protection.

·         Using Bible to justify dominating, oppressing, quenching life, maintaining positive is evil and released death.

·         Gal 5:1  “Be not entangled in yoke of bondage” (legalism)

v13  you have been called to liberty

·         Liberty (1657) – unrestrained freedom, exempt from obligation, able to act freely.

·         Only restraint:  “By love serve one another”

·         Holy Spirit does not tell a man to make his wife submit or a women to pressure man to lead – legalism and demand!


c)    The devil is a legalist

·         Mt 4:6  If you be the Son of God – for it is written

·         Words – ‘must’, ‘ought to’.

·         Accusations; you did; you didn’t.

·         Legalism is often result of true principle at wrong time, wrong situation.

·         Spirit powers use the law as grounds to bring people into bondage.

·         Any doctrine no matter how biblically accurate can bring darkness and bondage.

Gal 3:1  “Who has bewitched you?”

·         People came under influence of evil spirit power – result = legalism and bondage.

·         Anything that brings darkness and bondage and oppression, abuse

·         2 Cor 3:17  “Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty

cf  David and Michal.  (2 Sam 6)

d)    Yielding to the direction of Holy Spirit brings life

·         Gal 3:9  “Those which be of faith are blessed with faithful Abraham”

·         Yielding to the Holy Spirit causes us to fulfil will of God and do things that please.

Phil 2:13  “God is at work in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure”


·         Great freedom and authority comes out of Holy Spirit not by some law or doctrine.

·         Only time Word/will of God is fulfilled is when follow leading of Holy Spirit.

·         Following letter of law hinders will of God and releases death.

·         Following Holy Spirit’s direction releases the power of God and life of God.

Eph 5:17,18-21   Be not unwiseunderstand what will of God is

e)    Key issue:  What does Holy Spirit want me to do?

·         Requires accept responsibility – not live by laws but listen to God.

·         Eg, DivorceMt 19:8 – Moses, because of hardness of heart, permitted it

Moses knew law, plan of God concerning marriage, divorce, adultery.

·         Hard heart (4641) – to be dry, hard, tough, sever, fierce.

·         God guided Moses to permit some divorces; not God’s best; God made allowances.


·         How to handle situationsyield or confront?

Disagree with husband                             ]     pray

Husband wrong                                         ]     check own heart at first

Husband demands do something wrong  ]     listen to Holy Spirit

Husband passive, neglectful                     ]     whatever He says to do, do it

Husband abusive                                      ]     - power, blessing on relationship

Husband unfaithful                                    ]