Healing from Abortion, Miscarriage & Adoption

从流产/流产/收养愈合

從流產/流產/收養癒合

Mike Connell

Sermon Audio Transcripts

Copyright 2012 Mike Connell Ministries

http://mikeconnellministries.com

Healing from Abortion, Miscarriage & Adoption

从流产/流产/收养愈合

從流產/流產/收養癒合

Personal Testimony - Adopted Daughters Wedding

Mike and Joy Connell, together with their daughter Josephine, share their story of reconciliation—testifying of how God can turn situations around when we obey Him.

It was a love story that seemed to go wrong at every possible turn. Like Romeo and Juliet, they were two young lovers forced apart by their family backgrounds. To make matters worse, they brought a baby into this world; a baby they decided not to keep. But unlike other stories, this one has a happy ending, because God intervened and turned tragedy into triumph.

个人见证：收养女儿的婚礼

这是一个曲折的爱情故事，有欢笑也有悲伤。就像罗密欧与朱丽叶一样，他们这一对年轻的情侣因各自的家庭背景被迫分开。更糟糕的是，他们将一个婴儿带到了世上，并决定放弃她。但是这个故事，不像其他的故事那样，它因为有神的介入，让悲剧变为欢笑，有了一个开心的结局。

個人見證：收養女兒的婚禮

這是一個曲折的愛情故事，有歡笑也有悲傷。就像羅密歐與朱麗葉一樣，他們這一對年輕的情侶因各自的家庭背景被迫分開。更糟糕的是，他們將一個嬰兒帶到了世上，並決定放棄她。但是這個故事，不像其他的故事那樣，它因為有神的介入，讓悲劇變為歡笑，有了一個開心的結局。

Healing from Abortion/Miscarriage

The heart of God is full of compassion to heal and restore damaged lives. Abortion is a doorway for grief and bondage, which is largely hidden under secrecy and denial. When the truth is faced that the life of a child has been taken the pain is immense. The reality dawns, there is a son or daughter in heaven who we will meet one day!

Discover how to bring meaningful healing to families who have lost a child in the womb, and set them free from bondage and torment. Jesus did not come to condemn - He came to save, heal, deliver, restore.

从流产/流产愈合

神的心脏是充满怜悯医治和恢复受损的生命。堕胎是门口的悲伤和恶魔般的束缚，这在很大程度上是在保密和否认隐藏。当真相面对一个孩子的生命已采取的痛苦是巨大的。现实即将来临，有一个儿子或女儿在天堂谁，我们会遇到一片天！

探索如何把有意义的愈合谁失去了一个孩子在子宫内的家庭，使他们免受奴役和折磨。耶稣来不是要谴责 - 他要拯救，医治，拯救，恢复。

從流產/流產癒合

神的心臟是充滿憐憫醫治和恢復受損的生命。墮胎是門口的悲傷和惡魔般的束縛，這在很大程度上是在保密和否認隱藏。當真相面對一個孩子的生命已採取的痛苦是巨大的。現實即將來臨，有一個兒子或女兒在天堂誰，我們會遇到一片天！

探索如何把有意義的癒合誰失去了一個孩子在子宮內的家庭，使他們免受奴役和折磨。耶穌來不是要譴責 - 他要拯救，醫治，拯救，恢復。

The Silent Scream (Bernard Nathanson)

Dr. Bernard Nathanson's classic video that shocked the world (briefly mentioned in the previous sermon).

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Personal Testimony - Adopted Daughters Wedding

Sun 26 Oct 2008 AM  « Back to Top

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Mike and Joy Connell, together with their daughter Josephine, share their story of reconciliation—testifying of how God can turn situations around when we obey Him.

It was a love story that seemed to go wrong at every possible turn. Like Romeo and Juliet, they were two young lovers forced apart by their family backgrounds. To make matters worse, they brought a baby into this world; a baby they decided not to keep. But unlike other stories, this one has a happy ending, because God intervened and turned tragedy into triumph.

I want to share with you two principles; then we're going to share a testimony about the goodness of God, the tremendous goodness of God in our lives - how God has just brought blessing. It's almost like fairytale stuff, you can hardly imagine that it could happen like this.

We want to share with you our testimony; and to highlight what we did that activated these principles - because God just doesn't move. God is always good, but His goodness is released as we position ourselves for things to happen. You actually have to make decisions to position yourself for God's blessing to come.

Positioning means: you take on an attitude; or you say words; or you do the right things; that make room for God to come and to touch your life.

The Bible says very clearly: we must believe that God is a good God; and we must believe that He will come and touch our lives.

We're going to share about is from our background, from our lives. Where we came from, an what happened to get us here; but we want to talk specifically about how God wonderfully came on a wedding that we took, the weekend before last.

The wedding that I took, was that of a daughter we adopted out before we were married; and for me to be able to take the wedding, to shape how the whole wedding service went, how the reception went - is absolutely unbelievable. To have even been there was a miracle; but to have had the ability and the privilege of being able to shape how it went, and make room for God to come, was even greater.

I want to first of all highlight the two principles; and then talk about how we activated these principles at various points in our life; and how God has been so faithful, and has given us a testimony that's just unbelievable.

With children being adopted out, the stories don't usually end as good as this one. This is just one out of the box, but it demonstrates that God is always good, so no matter how the story ends, God's goodness never changes.

For some people, finding their adoptive parents is very painful; and often it increases the pain that they experience. In our situation, it was exactly the opposite, and we want to share some of the background.

So here are the two principles:

1) James 4:6 – “God gives Grace to the Humble.

When the Bible talks about humility, it's talking about a ‘positioning of your heart’ - an attitude you take; and humility is not sort of grovelling stuff.

Humility means: I come up-front and agree with God about life; I agree with Him about my mistakes and failures; and don't try and cover them up or be defensive. It's really important.

Humility enables me to look at my life as God sees it - both the negatives; and the potential.

The Bible tells us: God will give an empowerment to those who humble themselves; so it means positioning yourself to come into agreement with God: 1) about your mistakes and failures - so you're open about them; 2) about what God says about you, and your life (if He says: “you're forgiven”, then you're forgiven). Humility means: I believe it and stand on it; and 3), it's about your positioning - what God has called you to do, and to be.

Humility can manifest itself by boldly and strongly standing up. To some people it looks like pride, but it isn't. It's actually I'm in agreement with God about who I am, and what I'm called to be, and do. So that's humility.

2) The second principle is: the Principle of Honour.

The Bible puts it negatively in Romans 1:21 – “When they knew God, they did not glorify Him, or give Him honour for who He is. Neither were they grateful to Him; then their minds become futile and darkened, and they moved away from God”

Principle: Whatever you respect and appreciate, will come towards you; whatever you disrespect, will move away from you.

Respect and honour and value will attract people into your life. Disrespect will cause them to pull away from you.

If you don't place value on money, it will soon depart from you. When you treat it with respect, and handle it well, it will come towards you. Life operates this way.

To ‘honour someone’ means: to give them appropriate recognition and place and value. It can be in: an attitude to them; our words; what we do. When we honour people, we place value on them, and we position ourselves so they are lifted up.

It's very important, if we're going to walk successfully and enjoy God's blessing, that we learn: the Principle of Humility; and the Principle of Honour.

There's three grounds upon which you honour people:

1) You Honour them because of: what they have done. If someone does something notable, you should honour it, and value it, and appreciate it.

2) You honour a person's character - the kind of person they are. If someone is courageous, they may never stand out from the crowd, but in a moment of pressure they were courageous. You honour that.

3) We're called to recognise the Position and Rank that people have in our life; to value and esteem them, just because they have their position. That's why the Bible says: “Honour your parents - that it may go well with you”. You say: you don't know what my parents were like... It doesn't matter; you honour them because: that's the positioning that God has given them in your life; and if you do it, you'll come into blessing.

Two principles: Humility - coming into agreement with God about life, and what He says about us, and standing up and believing that what He says is true; and Honour - being willing to give value, and appropriate respect, for people. You'll find it will always release the grace of God.

Having said that; we want to talk and share about how these principles were applied in our life - in relationship to: what happened before we were married; and then how God has worked this out in our lives since then.

[Joy Connell] There's a verse I'd like to share, that the Lord drew to my attention this week. It talked about “preparing the way for the Lord, make straight in the desert”. It was a very ‘desert’ place for many years - a highway for our God - because God wants to come in to desert places.

It said: “Every Valley shall be exalted”. It was certainly a very ‘valley’ time for me - having a child in secret, and releasing it for adoption - a very, very low place. But it said: “Every valley shall be Exalted”. To be there on her wedding was a very high place - amazing.

It said: “Every mountain shall be brought down low”. It was a huge mountain for me, to face my parents at the time of pregnancy. It was just a mountain I couldn't cross. To have all my family there last Saturday, standing with us, was huge.

It said: “The crooked places will be made straight, rough places will be made smooth, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed”. We saw the glory of the Lord revealed.

“and all flesh shall see it together”. Everybody there in wedding place saw the glory of the Lord. They didn't know it was the glory of the Lord, but it was.

He said: “The mouth of the Lord has spoken”; because God gave us promises. What He decrees and declares - it does take place.

I believe it's a time for prophetic decrees over many of your mountains. I know many of you are facing mountains, but God can bring them down - and when He does it it's just absolutely amazing.

If you go right back to the beginning of the Bible, when Adam sinned – “through fear he hid himself”. At the time after we'd been dating for about seven years and there was just huge conflicts. The fear - I just took the same response that Adam and Eve did. They just hid themselves with secrecy; and think: this is a way of coping.

I also had inner vows - things you've told yourself in the past, which have become very binding; then, when you face a crisis, you operate out of these things that have been programmed inside you. Even though they're not the best way, it's the way that you do, because of things you've told yourself that you will do.

I was never going to “trap anybody into marrying me”, or go through the shame of the pregnancies and marriages I saw, in the church I was in.

These inner vows I'd made just said: “there’s no way I'm going to go there”; but what happens is: they're strong controls, and they actually build walls around your heart; but that was in place at that time in my life.

Also, my own way of coping with a crisis... Mike was saying humility is “acknowledging God's way”; but if you don't turn to God, you have all sorts of ‘great ways’ of coping with life.

The enemy will also put a few good ideas in too, but when you listen to those, and make your own way of coping - basically there's immediate short-term relief. You protect yourself, but all these ways lead to great isolation and pain, further damage, and huge bondage. But that was what it was like, way back in 1969.

[Mike Connell] Prior to us getting married, I wasn't a Christian, and did not know the Lord. When Joy got pregnant, we made a decision that we'd adopt our girl out - a very bad choice, very bad decision. It was just made in the pressure of: inability to stand up and be courageous.

Having made one mistake, we then coupled it up with a second mistake. When you cover things over, you never, ever prosper (the Bible says); and so for years, we endured tremendous grief and pain.

There wasn't a year went by, that we didn't remember our daughter, and didn't pray for her, and wonder what was happening to her. You just can't get over these things; they're just part of your life.

But the day that we got married, I made a decision to receive Jesus Christ into my life; and asked the Lord to become part of our lives. Then I went before Him and totally repented, and came into agreement with what He said, about what I had done: the failure to be responsible; the failure to actually stand up and be courageous for Joy's sake; the rejection of a child, and all that would come upon her as a result of that.

I made a vow before the Lord that day, coming out of repentance (some vows are very good to make).

I said: “No matter where we are in our lives, I know there is a day that You will bring this daughter back to us, because of who You are. It's got nothing to do with our rights, because we gave our rights up; but because God is good, You will bring her back”.

And I knew in my heart, I had a faith, that she would be restored; so when I repented, I said to the Lord then: “the day You bring her back, no matter what position, what standing I have in life - I will be open and transparent about who she is, and her place in our lives. We will give her the acceptance, and love, and welcome that we withheld from her, when we sinned.

That's what humility looks like. You actually turn around completely, and come into agreement with God about what needs to happen.

Some years later we came here. The Lord was speaking to us about issues in our life, and we ran a wedding renewal or a marriage renewal service.

[Joy Connell] The church was still quite small, but when we got married, the only neutral place we could get married was the nurse's chapel! We had: a Catholic priest; and an Anglican minister (who was married to a Brethren, and understood my side of things). It was just amazing. God came through.

It just seemed totally impossible to get a marriage which both families would accept; but Mike was flatting with some guys who had left the seminary training to be Catholic priests. One of them broke his leg, and was in Wellington Hospital, and fell in love with a Presbyterian nurse - and he created a precedent for us. He got special permission from the bishop (or whoever it was) - and he was able to get married.

So we just followed in his wake, and God made a way, which just seemed totally impossible. But we realised that a lot of things had changed from when we got married. We were very broken, barely saved, finding a way back to God; and we realised that there's others in the church at that time that were like us. They'd come to the Lord, things had totally changed for them; and they were ready to make a fresh renewal of their marriage vows, so we got about 12 couples... We met for about three weeks, and we talked about the foundation of our marriage; and prepared ourselves to go through this ceremony again - which was for me the very first time I actually lifted the cover off my big secret.

I hadn't even told my parents about this daughter; but with this small group, we talked about our background, and we decided: this is the time to bring out our baggage. Maybe we should at that time write to welfare and see if we could reconnect with our daughter we lost?

You know how good God is? Our daughter's mother Carol decided it was our daughter's right to know her heritage, and she wrote, and those letters had landed the same day at welfare. As a result of interest on both sides, they gave us information, and we started to make contact.

For me it was incredibly difficult; when you've covered something, and lived with denial; to face the reality - I couldn't cope with even a photograph of her.

I meant to have something shut away, and behind a big stone; and God says: “roll away the stone” - you don't want to go there. I mean its death there. It's ugly there. It's painful there; but when you actually roll it away, and look at a photograph, and think: actually this is a person.

Her name was Josephine. I thought: that's kind of a bit of a religious name; and the Lord reminded me about how Joseph was: separated from all his brethren; and came back and had a reunion.

It was quite a big thing to actually face reality, when you've been living in denial for 18 years; but we had to really roll away the stone, remove the covering. Then you feel incredibly vulnerable and fragile, and dependent on God.

That's actually just what He wants us to do, when we let go whatever we hid behind. They had fig leaves in Genesis; but they had to actually take those fig leaves off, to receive the covering of skin; and the provision of what Jesus Christ had done on the cross. For me that was quite a vulnerable stage too.

[Mike Connell] So again the issue of humility came in. We had to face the issues in our personal life. We put matters right with one another, and realised that all our lives there'd been this deep hurt. To come and actually admit it... the Lord spoke to me, and clearly He said: you need to put this matter right.

I had to put it right with Joy; I had to go to her father, and put it right with her father. We had to actually come clean about what we had done, which was wrong; and when you do that, when you position yourself the way God says - He provides blessing for you. He provides grace.

[Joy Connell] Yeah, I remember my parents - I invited them up. I said: “there's something I want to talk to you about...” I took the two of them out to the Old Flame, which is the best restaurant I could think of, and sat them down.

I just had to deeply apologise for my secrecy, what I'd hidden from them; and asked their forgiveness for what we had covered at that time, because...

[Mike Connell] That's actually honouring them, by putting right what was wrong. Where there'd been dishonour, there had to be honour restored - and that made such a difference.

[Joy Connell] Then we wrote to Josephine, and we apologised to her. We both apologised for the rejection, and the effect it had on her life; and asked her forgiveness.

Then we decided to make her very welcome. We invited her to come and stay - and that again was a miracle. She was half way through dentistry school. She's a Dentist in Whakatane, and at that stage, she was half way through dentistry training in Dunedin, and she was going back to do a summer school paper; so we invited her to stay after that paper.

Of course, when you pastor a church, and you've got six children that look a bit like you, you can't just turn up with another one the next Sunday...

[Mike Connell] Looks like you...

[Joy Connell] ...without saying something to the church. But this church is amazing. We stood up, the Sunday before she arrived to stay, and shared our testimony. Some of you I know are still here - I remember some of your faces. At the end of the service, God was so good then, He just - I think everybody's closets were opened, and all the skeletons came out. God just moved, and brought quite a wave of tremendous healing. But also as a church family, you were tremendously responsive to us, and we invited her to arrive. She arrived right on Mike's 44th birthday.

[Mike Connell] What are the chances of that?

[Joy Connell] That was the day she said she was going to arrive.

[Mike Connell] She had no idea when my birthday was; but the day she chose to come was my birthday!

That week we had just an unbelievable time; and over the years since then, she's connected to us, come to know and love us. She cries every time she comes home, and has become quite bonded and connected to our family.

It was just amazing when, the young man that's asked her to marry him came, and he honoured me by asking me for permission. I had no right. You understand that when you give a child up for adoption - there are no rights; and in those days, there was also no contact - no way to make contact. It was closed.

When we gave the child up, and God spoke to me - I knew in my heart she was going to come back; but there was no possible way it could happen, because you never had any contact with them.

You couldn't get the contact; and then the law changed, and made this possible. She came back, and we were able to reconnect; and he asked me for permission to marry her - which was a great honour to me.

She also honoured me, and asked me to help with the service. She'd come to the weddings of our family - and had just got blown away; and she said: I don't know what it is - but what you've got I want.

I was in a position then (this is what's so amazing) - to shape a service, in a way that God could come into the service. I was in a position to help shape the reception; so that the things that needed to happen there, for God to come, were in place. We taught her about how to honour her parents, how to actually address them and speak to them - and the things she needed to say, as she exited from their care, and came in to start a new family.

[Joy Connell] That time, even though Mike had a chance to prepare her, for the wedding, and coach her how to honour her parents - which of course, immediately met with a burst of tears. Mike wasn’t as emotionally connected to them; but he listed all the ways in which they had come through for her - and how to honour them.

In the meantime, I was flying to Taiwan, and I was watching a movie on the plane about an adoption story, and I felt quite stirred after watching this movie; so I decided to write Josephine a letter.

It was coming up to her wedding, and I honoured her (in a letter) for her courage; and for the steps she was making; for the choice that I regretted, but the choices that I've made since, which were great choices, like: marrying Mike; giving our hearts to the Lord; building our lives on Him - and just encouraging her in those responses.

But I forgot to post this letter; so when I was in Taiwan, at the hotel, I got some hotel paper, and posted the letter - stuck it in the counter at the hotel.

That letter arrived the day of our women's conference - when she was having a pamper day (ahead of the wedding). She'd invited me to join her for a pamper day, but I couldn't make it (because we had our women's conference), but as she was leaving to go on that pamper day, my letter was in the mail. She felt I was with her.

[Mike Connell] We went to the wedding. The wedding practice was very, very difficult. You have to come to face things.

One of the things about walking with the Lord, is that He never spares us from the consequences of bad choices.

One of the things about growing up, you have to learn that bad choices have bad consequences; and although God will forgive us, there's a ‘walking’ out of those consequences.

Of course for me, one of the biggest challenges was to on the day of the wedding - to have another man walk my daughter down the aisle. That was very, very hard. You'll see it - I'm going to show you a couple of pictures of it just in a moment. [See video attachment]

The night before, I was very distressed. We did the wedding practice, and went to have time with them - but there was no presence of God there! It was very awkward - just so uncomfortable, that after the practice, I just went to the beach - and just wept before the Lord.

I said: God, You've got to come and help us. This is just so difficult!

It looked like there was going to be no real Value and Honour. You know what Kiwis get like - that funny humour, that's kind of a putdown sort of a humour?

I so wanted God's value, and presence, to come into the place; but it just seemed like it was impossible for that to happen - so I went home. I was quite upset, the night we'd met with the family, and did the wedding practice; and I went home saying: God, You've got to help. You've got to show me how I can actually make a difference in this service tomorrow - and so we talked about it.

I would’ve spent probably a couple of hours, just waiting on God, to get something that was appropriate for that situation. It was an incredibly unusual feeling - we'll show photos through as we go, then you'll kind of catch the feel of it, as we do this.

It’s a most unusual feeling to have some ‘other man’ bringing my daughter down the aisle. It was quite challenging to deal with the emotions that went with that; but I had to face the consequences of choices I made years ago.

I knew that the Lord would provide grace; and what He did was: He showed me to speak on honour - to actually demonstrate honour; and to use honour to unlock that service.

So we had Kate and Andrew (our son-in-law, and daughter-in-law) put a song together - and as they began to sing - the atmosphere just began to change. It wasn't even a song they chose; but nevertheless, because of what's in their lives, the atmosphere began to shift and change - and the presence of God came into the place. You could feel the change; and of course everyone's looking at me: what's he going to say? What do you say? How much do you say?

We felt for her parents. Originally we had felt: perhaps just a couple of members of our family come; but Jo wanted everyone there, so we were kind of ‘very sensitive’ about this. But the Lord showed me exactly what to say.

[Joy Connell] The little boy ‘Alex’ is Josephine's little son.

[Mike Connell] That's her father and mother; and that's them giving our daughter in marriage to Steve.

I felt the Lord show me to actually honour the parents - because they would be feeling uncomfortable. And humility is ‘knowing your position’, and adopting the ‘right position’. Sometimes we can be in charge; but sometimes you actually have to be the servant.

You've got to see how God has positioned you; and choose to position yourself in that way. I actually spent time, and honoured them; spoke directly to them, honoured them.

It was a very difficult choice for them, to take home a baby that had...

[Joy Connell] Congenital hip.

Amazing surprise; this mother claimed to be an atheist, but she looked at our baby, and said: I just ‘knew’ she was going to be alright - and at 10 months, she got up and walked!

[Mike Connell] No one wanted her, in the hospital - which we had no idea about.

Her own (adoptive) mother was resistant to her having this baby, because she thought she might be a cripple; but she felt in her heart that she should have the baby. So I honoured her for choosing to welcome Josephine into their lives.

We honoured them for the education, and family life they'd made. We honoured them for encouraging her to seek us out - knowing that this would be quite a difficult thing for them. And we honoured them then for...

[Joy Connell] Opening their home to us.

[Mike Connell] ...welcoming us into their home to meet with them and have time with them.

[Joy Connell] It's funny, the first time they met us (soon after we met Josephine), we went right to the bottom of the South Island; two sets of parents, and Josephine, having a meal together - it was big of them to invite us into their home. But what amused me: half way through the meal, the mother was just pouring out her heart, and her feelings, and emotions... and she suddenly said: hey, but you're complete strangers! I don't know why I'm doing this!

[Mike Connell] So what I did was honour them; honoured her brothers, our own family for coming and being with us, and supporting us. The whole family - everyone turned up - there wasn't anyone left out.

Everyone turned up; and then I honoured Steve, for the way he had conducted himself in approaching me; and Josephine, for her courage in actually being willing to seek us out; and then to make us welcome in her life and heart.

I indicated very clearly: it was not ‘by right’ we were there; it was by privilege - and by her choice, the goodness of her choice.

I shared a message for them that “wisdom builds the house”. By wisdom you build a marriage; by wisdom you build in various ways - you can build relationships; business; and ministries.

But wisdom is making choices from God's perspective - and I acknowledged that we'd made a bad choice. We'd lived to regret it; but now we were glad that God had made a way for this day to happen. It was like a miracle that we could be there, involved like that, on that day.

[Joy Connell] Its one thing, when God restores things - He's got such a big heart; there's just one other thing...

On the journey, before we had the wedding day, Mike and I went to Nigeria to celebrate - I think it was our 25 year wedding anniversary. But the prophet in Nigeria put his bony finger in my face - and read my mail!

One thing he brought out was: in God's eyes, Josephine had been like an orphan. I mean, if I could have selected her home... the home she was great. We were both teachers; they were both teachers. She was brought up in the country - had her own pet lambs and calves, and had a wonderful upbringing!

The only thing missing was the God element. She was totally foreign from the things of God; so in God's eyes she was an ‘orphan’ to His family. I thought: wow - God, You have a heart for people that are orphaned from Your things. It's better to have nothing in the natural, but to have Jesus, who is everything; than to have everything - and not have Jesus.

So that incident really made me feel deeply, and agree with God about orphans, and His heart for orphans - and our own passion for orphans was really birthed out of that. I'm just so excited that many people here support orphans - because God is on their side!

And He was grieved, that she was orphaned from the things of God.

[Mike Connell] When it came time for the reception, we wondered how that would go. When we went in - we noticed that Jo had done an interesting thing.

She sat at the main table; and she'd positioned the table with the two parents right in front of her - so they were given equal positioning. Quite amazing! I mean you can't make that happen. Then she stood up, and honoured her natural family (her adoptive family); and then when she'd honoured them, and appreciated them - she honoured us.

It was incredibly heart-touching; but when you honour people, it unlocks something. Look at a couple more pictures there, very happy couple.

What happened then was, her mother had said: she was ‘not going to say anything’; and then suddenly she said: “I want to say something.”

Understand that honour: opens the way for people to come near; and also brings God near. When you honour people, God's presence somehow, sometimes... it just seems to come in. So she stood up and what she said just stunned us.

[Joy Connell] Yes. The night before it was so awkward! I mean, she didn't kind of even want to look at me, or acknowledge me - she just got busy, busy, busy, busy...

[Mike Connell] It was obviously painful.

[Joy Connell] After she'd been honoured at the service, it just kind of disarms people. After Josephine had honoured her, the mother stood and she - this person who wasn't going to speak, she was so beautiful.

She spoke from her heart; and I don't think Josephine had ever heard her speak from her heart; but she honoured each of her children. Three of them are adopted; and they have one of their own - how precious each of them was.

She honoured Josephine, for the tremendous joy she'd brought into their life, and all the wonderful experiences they had. Then what blew me away... (weeping)

[Mike Connell] She said that each year, when they had Christmas, and had her birthday; that they remembered the family that had lost her, and were deeply grateful that: our loss was their gain.

Of course that's very - you can imagine how we felt about that; because every year we'd remembered: we'd lost a daughter. It was quite heart-touching, for both of us, for her to say that. We both stood and shared; and I just shared that: there hadn't been a year go by that we hadn't thought of our daughter, and prayed for her - and that it was a great loss.

We just appreciated Josephine for her willingness to allow us to come back into her life; so it was quite - it was unbelievably heart-touching. You could hear sobs down the back. I didn't even dare look around to see who's - there are tears everywhere! I didn't even dare look around, and see who's sobbing down the back; because we realised that right through the whole of the group, there were broken marriages. There were adopted people, there were people who'd lost children, there were blended families, there were all kinds of things there; and when people are in the presence of honour, it unlocks their heart.

[Joy Connell] It makes way for the Lord to come in and...

[Mike Connell] It makes way for God to do things.

[Joy Connell] ...it's a powerful thing to experience: that honour does make way for the Lord to come.

Josephine didn't want us to say too much at the reception, if her parents didn't say too much, so we were kind of positioning ourselves. But when both her mother and father spoke quite well, and quite long, she gave us an opportunity to speak; and again, we wouldn't want to say too much, but just wanted to honour her - for how beautiful she looked; and what she'd done to open her heart for our family.

Steve - the most amazing thing about her fiancée; well two things. First of all, the very first time she visited us in our church, she went back to her flat. While she was away, one of her flatmates got baptised in the Holy Ghost. She said: I know what you're on about - I've been to my birth dad's church - and I know what you're on about!

The second thing was, she had a few other relationships... and then when Steve came on the scene, she's like: I knew you'd like this one - because one day, Steve was prayed for by somebody like Mike - planted down on the ground for 20 minutes with a back injury, and came up totally healed! So he had a real awareness of the power of God. She said: I knew you’d like this one!

But the week before the wedding - the Saturday before the wedding - he was 28 metres below the sea, and out of air. He had to shoot up to the surface; he got the bends, and was flown in a decompression unit - and got released two days before the wedding!

I'm just so grateful for Steve - that he was with us, that God had kept him. I wonder if it was a demonic assignment actually, when things like that are so difficult. God's got a great purpose and destiny for people's lives and I believe that's still being unfolded.

But I honoured him for what he'd done; and again said: it was not by rights - it was a significant event to be a part of, but we really had no rights; just that God is so incredibly good, the grace of God, and the goodness of God. So we both just had a chance again just to acknowledge God, and acknowledge and honour which again was part of the process.

[Mike Connell] We'll just finish with a couple of things, but what was amazing was the impact on people. There were lots of things I won't disclose, because they were just very, very precious; I just feel it wouldn't be appropriate to share them.

But there was a couple of things that were really thrilling.... One was that Jo has a son called Alex, who's seven years old; and prior to the wedding, he had been talking to Steven. Steven asked him: “Do you want me to be your step dad?” He said: “No - I've got a dad - I don't need a step dad. I'll just call you Steve”.

But when we'd had this time, and the presence of God was touching people, he said: “why are people crying?” Jo said: when people say words from their heart - they feel something; and he said: “I want to say something”.

So he took the microphone - this is a seven year old - and then he honoured his mother for being so beautiful, and so good for him. Then he honoured Steve; and he said: Steve, I'd like you to be my step-dad. I'd like you to have that place in my life. Well...

[Joy Connell] He sat down and burst into tears.

[Mike Connell] He sat down and burst into tears; and we're thinking (sob) you know - so there were many things that happened like that.

There was one other thing that was notable for me. Although it had been so awkward prior to the wedding; after the wedding, her mother came up and said: thank you for coaching her in how to put on such a great event. I just thanked her for acknowledging it, and so on; but really, what we had done: we'd coached her in the principle of honour.

As she did it, all the way through, the presence of God came, and made this even just an extraordinary event. We are deeply grateful to the Lord - it's something we could never do.

We believed that He would bring her back. We believed that we'd be part of her life; but we never would have guessed that God does is more than enough, that God gave us more than we expected.

I want to encourage you all to consider those issues of: Humility; and Honour - they can unlock so much in our lives.

Closing Prayer

I know some of you will have been really deeply touched. Perhaps it's really touched your heart; and you're not a Christian, you don't know Jesus Christ; you haven't experienced for yourself yet the personal love of God for you.

Jesus said: to everyone who received Him, to everyone who personally invited Christ into their life, He gave them power to become a child of God; to have their sins forgiven, to have a new relationship with God, His Father; and to walk as part of a God family.

What a great thing for you to make that decision today. We made it - I had so many things wrong with my life before I came to Jesus Christ.

The goodness of the Lord is before us. Why don't you make that decision yourself?

If you're here today, and you don't know Jesus Christ; why not become a Christian? Receive the love of God, into your life. It's a personal choice to connect with God.

Perhaps you're disconnected from God. You've once had a relationship with the Lord; but because of disappointments, things not going like you thought - you've drawn back; and today you need to renew your relationship with the Lord. Just be honest, be humble.

Humility is: admitting my condition. You say: God, I need to come back to you today.

______________________________________________________

Related Article written by: Dawn Seow (www.citynews.sg - 16 June 2012)

It was a love story that seemed to go wrong at every possible turn. Like Romeo and Juliet, they were two young lovers forced apart by their family backgrounds. To make matters worse, they brought a baby into this world; a baby they decided not to keep. But unlike other stories, this one has a happy ending, because God intervened and turned tragedy into triumph.

In 1962, Mike and Joy Connell were freshmen at a university when they met in school and fell in love. But because Connell was from a Catholic family and Joy from a strict Brethren background, their families were against their relationship.

“We were both the eldest in the family and we faced a lot of pressure from our families,” Joy recounted. “There was tremendous resistance between the Protestants and Catholics at that time, which caused strong religious opposition in both our families; so we kept breaking up and coming back.”

Six years later, they made a mistake and Joy found herself pregnant.

“I was in shock, fear and shame, thinking to myself: what do I do? We made a silly decision and that was to hide in secrecy and not tell our family. We were living away from home and so I managed to give birth to the baby without anyone knowing,” she said.

While Joy made a decision to bring the baby into the world, she decided not to keep her. “We gave her up for adoption. At that time in New Zealand, the law was such that if we gave up our baby (for adoption), we will never be able to see her again. The law restricted all access between the two families.”

Thankfully, God made a way for the young couple to eventually get married, as their parents felt they had been together for so long. Even though Joy felt like a backslidden Christian, there were people who knew about their problems and were praying for them. “And one day I did feel the Lord said he (Connell) has a heart after God and it was okay to marry,” Joy said. “I felt a release.”

To pacify both families, the couple decided on a joint service by a Catholic priest and an Anglican minister. “On the day I got married I gave my life to Jesus; I realized that we will never make our lives work unless Jesus was there. So I made a commitment to Christ at the service just before we got married,” said Connell.

This is the love story of Mike and Joy Connell, now the senior pastors of Bay City Outreach Center in Hastings, New Zealand. Their names are not unfamiliar at City Harvest Church. Connell is an internationally recognized teacher of the Word who moves powerfully in the prophetic, deliverance and inner healing gifts. His ministry has brought great healing to the hurt and broken-hearted.

While he was at CHC to minister over the weekend of Jun. 2 and 3, his family shared with City News the story of how he and Joy came to reconcile with the firstborn they gave up for adoption.

Reconciliation Begins with Healing

“After coming to the Lord, I realized how wrong I was (to give the baby up for adoption). I believed in my heart that the Lord will make a way for her (the baby girl) to come back, even though the law said otherwise. So I came into deep repentance, and made a commitment that when she came back in our lives, whatever I was doing, I would make it public and be completely open with everyone, because the sin was in the hiding, and repentance meant doing the exact opposite.

Eight years after they were married, the Connells were called to start a Christian school in the same year they started pastoring a church. As life moved on, they never talked about how the trauma of what happened affected both of them.

“We were working with a few married couples at one time and decided to have a marriage renewal service, looking at the foundations and helping these couples make a fresh commitment towards each other,” Joy shared. “And that was the first time we look at the foundations of our own lives and we realized how much damage had been done in terms of the grief and pain because of what happened. We resolved our hurts and shortly after, the laws (that restricts parents from meeting their children after giving them up for adoption) changed! God knew that the laws were changing and He got us ready for the change.”

The Connells wrote a letter to the social welfare. Interestingly, the mother who adopted their baby wrote them a letter as well, almost at the same time, to ask for information.

Josephine Brown, Connell’s daughter, was already 18 at that time, and was finishing her first year at university. Normally, the welfare services would not let them make contact until the child was 21 years old, but because there was interest on both sides, they allowed contact to be made.

“When I was born, I had a splint and had to be in bed for 10 weeks,” Josephine shared. “When my parents came to adopt me, the doctors couldn’t tell if I would develop some kind of disability. When they told their parents they wanted to adopt me, their parents were quite resistant.”

Unlike other adopted children, Josephine had always known that she was adopted. “It was not good or bad, just facts I knew. But as a child I always wondered who I was. In New Zealand, there are people who came from so many backgrounds, it’s like people have traveled here from England, Ireland or Wales so people always discussed if they are Irish-half or English-half and I never knew who I was.”

When Josephine found out that her mother had received a letter from the social welfare that her biological parents have six more children, questions started reeling in her mind: who were they? What do they looked like? Do they look like me? “It’s insane, when you don’t have information, you just fill in with your imagination.”

Eventually, Josephine flew up to meet the Connells after her exams that year. She arrived in town on Connell’s birthday.

“The week before she came, we openly told the church our story and everything came to light. After that, many of those who had problems sharing their past brought their secrets into the light as well,” said Joy.

As Connell came clean with his family’s past, God brought a lesson to his mind. “This was what the Lord asked me after we told the church, ‘You know what would happen if you had not shared with your church?’ I said, ‘No, I haven’t thought about that,’ to which God said, ‘If you had kept this in secret, it would have been a betrayal of trust for all under your leadership once they found out the truth.’”

Humility and Giving Honor

Over the years, the Connell family maintained contact with Josephine. She did not grow up in a Christian family but whenever she visited them, she would go to church with them.

While she felt moved by the presence of God at church, becoming a Christian was a struggle with the issue of loyalty for Josephine. “I grew up always wanting to please my parents, and I didn’t want the decision (to believe in God) to please other people; I wanted it to be for myself. So it took a long time to come to that point of not worrying about what my parents thought as well as what Mike and Joy thought.”

The change came when Josephine met her future husband Steve Brown, who shared his testimony with her about being healed at a church service. “I thought to myself, this is a guy who can help me grow spiritually. It was so important to me because if I got together with the wrong guy, it would be harder (to become a Christian).”

Their wedding in October 2008 was the first time Josephine’s biological and adopted family met. “I wanted my dad to walk me down the aisle and Mike to take the service.”

But things did not turn out as well as everyone hoped. Connell could still remember the tension he felt in the air at the initial meeting. “I said to God, ‘Help! You have to help me solve this!’ And I didn’t actually get an answer until the morning of the wedding day itself. The Lord showed me how to approach it with the principle of honor.

“There was the uncertainty of her siblings and her parents, and everyone was thinking: what’s he going to say, and I’m thinking: what am I going to say?

So the Lord showed me to start by placing honor on Josephine and her parents, because when you humble yourself and honor people, their hearts will be softened. I spoke words of value to her parents, her brothers, and to Josephine and Steve. The presence of God came and I felt the tension just lift. Hearts were softened and you could feel the love in the place. It was what I asked God for: all the walls were broke down and people just cried. It was so good.

At the reception, her mother stood up to speak and people just started to weep. She had faced her own conflicts because of her mother’s objection to her adopting Josephine, but deep down in her heart, she knew that this baby would be ok.”

Josephine and Steve were baptized by Connell at their home on Easter Sunday last year. “We are now putting down our roots and learning how to pray and walk with God,” Josephine said with a smile.

It is inevitable that people make mistakes, but as this story has shown, God is always there to turn mourning into dancing and sorrows into joy.

Healing from Abortion/Miscarriage

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The heart of God is full of compassion to heal and restore damaged lives. Abortion is a doorway for grief and bondage, which is largely hidden under secrecy and denial. When the truth is faced that the life of a child has been taken the pain is immense. The reality dawns, there is a son or daughter in heaven who we will meet one day!

Discover how to bring meaningful healing to families who have lost a child in the womb, and set them free from bondage and torment. Jesus did not come to condemn - He came to save, heal, deliver, restore.

The church needs to have a message of hope. The gospel is a message of hope to people. It's about God's love for us, and his willingness to help us. And so as Christians, no matter what is happening around us, we need to understand we have a message to help people. That Jesus Christ came to help people.

I'm reminded of an important scripture where it says: Jesus did not come to condemn people, but to save them; to rescue people out of the problems created by sin. So Jesus loves people, and he has no condemnation for us. No matter what has happened in your life, the heart of God is to reach into you, and love you, and restore you.

And so as believers, we should not be afraid of the issues in our nation, but should learn and understand them, and learn how to minister to people. We should not have areas we can't talk about. Rather, we should be able to talk about any issue; and come with a spirit of love, a spirit of hope, and with comfort for people.

I want to do this today – I want to share with you something that will be very deeply touching for many people. I haven't shared this message before, but God has spoken into my heart recently about this, and I wrestled somewhat last night and this morning. I really wanted to preach something else! But, I always feel that if you listen to God, he has something in mind for us. And this message may directly affect you, or it may indirectly affect you. And I just hope you will have an open heart and a loving spirit. Because we have prayed for people, and seen God bring tremendous breakthroughs.

Let's just have a look at Psalm 127:3. We've come here many times, and we've shared our story, most of you would know we have a big family with 7 children, and 21 grandchildren, and we've learnt a lot of things on the way. We also have 2 other children, but they're in heaven. So I want to talk today about abortion and miscarriage.

I want to offer hope for you. We want people here who don't know Jesus, to realize God loves you, and desires to help you; wants to break the power of sin in your life. After that I'd like to pray for 3 groups of people together. We'll pray for you together, because we don't want to embarrass you. We just want there to be a spirit of love, and the power of God to help you. I want to pray for people who've had an abortion, or perhaps you've been connected to someone who has. For people who've had a miscarriage; or for people who are barren, and are hoping for a child. We're not going to ask you at all what the nature of your problem is. We just want you to feel free to come and believe that God will help you.

So in Psalm 127:3, it says: “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, and the fruit of the womb is his reward”. So children are a heritage. It's an inheritance, something God gives to us. There's a part of every person that is a spirit being. The spirit comes from God. The Bible says: God is a Spirit. So when human beings come together, and create a life, they are partnering with God; and God puts a spirit into the child. The child becomes a living being, with an eternal destiny. God's desire is that the child shares his destiny with him. God's desire is for many children. This is the heart of God - many children. So God plans to reach out into this earth to help people - that's God's heart.

So when we're born into this world, we're born separate from God, because of sin. God's desire is to come to us, forgive our sins, put the Spirit in our lives, and give us an eternal destiny with him. This starts by responding to Christ.

I read in the paper just 3 days ago, it's a news story from China. It took place in a province called Weifang city, and there was a young couple. They went to bed one evening, they had one child, and they were expecting a second child. In the early hours of one morning, the police burst into their home. They held down the husband, and they dragged the wife out of the home, and took her to a hospital.

The panic-stricken husband tried every way to find out where his wife had gone. But the authorities refused to tell him. It took him 6 hours to find out where his wife was. They had threatened the wife, because she already 6 months pregnant - threatened to put her husband in prison. Then they injected her, and when he got to his wife, she was in the process of miscarrying.

What touched me very deeply was that both of them suffered great grief. They were grieving over the loss of their child, and there's no one to comfort them. My heart goes out to them, and I'll tell you why in a moment. I feel quite deeply touched by that story. I'll share to you a couple of personal testimonies, and then we'll open up the word of God. I want to offer hope to people today.

Some years ago, my wife went through two miscarriages. As a man, I didn't understand at that time what it meant to a woman, to miscarry. We were involved in ministry; we had many pressures on us - we already had 5 other children. When the two miscarriages came, my wife never complained. She had the miscarriages, went to hospital, and then we carried on with our life, and I didn't think about it much at all.

We had another two children - Peter and Sarah. Some years later, I was in another church ministry, and I was praying for a lady, and asked her: what is the problem? She'd had a miscarriage, and as I prayed, she began to weep; and I felt this incredible grief - I began to cry with her. I thought: that's very strange - I must be feeling the love of God.

Then on the same day, I went to another church; and the second time, the same thing happened. I prayed for a woman who'd suffered a miscarriage, and I had this incredible grief. When you feel something, you need to ask yourself: what am I feeling; and why do I feel it? So I went home and began to pray, and the Lord spoke to me. He said: you are grieving not because of her, but because of your own loss. He said: you've lost two children – a boy and a girl, and you've never stopped to grieve. You've never even admitted you've lost a child.

So I began to grieve, and the Lord showed me what to do. I went home to my wife, and I said to her: God's been speaking to me about our two miscarriages. Joy said: “Well God's been speaking to me too - I've been journaling about this. We had a boy and a girl; and I've given them names: Timothy and Catherine.”

I said: the Lord has shown me something we need to do for our family. So we had a family meal, like we always do, and Joy put two beautiful orchids on the table. Then we had our meal, and we shared with the children. I said: “You know that we have seven children in our family. Well actually, there are nine - there are another two in heaven”.

An interesting thing happened - the two children who came after the miscarriages, both began to weep, and they were really deep sobs. I realised that they had picked up a grief in their spirit; even though in their mind, they did not know we had lost two children. There was grief that my wife carried; and they knew in their spirit that they had lost a brother and a sister, and there was a grief in their heart. The spirit of grief had come around them.

So the grief my wife carried over her loss, was transferred to the next two children. So we laid our hands on them and prayed for them. For the other children, this wasn't an issue at all - it was just the two following the miscarriage. This opened our eyes, that a child in the womb can feel the feelings and the grief of the mother. That when a child is miscarried, and the mother feels the grief - if the grief isn't resolved, then the next children pick up the grief. That was quite a revelation to us.

We did get a tremendous insight: that when you've lost children to a miscarriage, it's important to identify who they are. Not just some ‘thing' we've lost. For me, it was like my wife lost something - like a tooth. Painful; but it's just something that happens. I didn't get a hold in my heart that I've lost a child; that as a father, one of my children had been taken away.

So I realised that when there are miscarriages, and also when there are abortions - there's a real grief left. One of the ways of processing the grief, I'll tell you a bit more about it later, is to identify what each child is; and to give them a name; and to release them to the Lord. Then it's not just some “thing” that happened, some “thing” I lost - some piece of tissue. It's actually a real living spirit being, whose body never developed, whose house did not last, and they had to leave. My wife put it this way, so beautifully: “It's a rose that budded, but never bloomed”. So over the years, we've prayed for many people, and helped them in this area.

Now, here's the second part of the testimony: earlier on this year I was in Singapore, and as I was in Singapore, I was teaching about encounters with God. We had a worship team, and we were ministering just to the worship team, to help them have encounters with God.

Now previously to this, the two children we had who had suffered grief, one day after church, said this to us - each independently. They said: we saw into heaven today in the meeting. We saw our brother and sister - and each of them saw that. It's like God opened heaven for them, and they saw the brother and sister they'd lost. Each of them saw the exact same thing, independently of each other; and they were really excited, and were able to describe them!

I must admit - I was a bit jealous; but this year, I was teaching on how to have encounters with God. So I taught people how to focus on Jesus, allow your imagination to see him as the word of God describes him, and begin to reach out in your heart to him. In other words, I was meditating on Jesus. All these other young people were having encounters with God; and I just felt that instead of leading the meeting, I should press in myself.

So I began to meditate on Jesus - I wasn't thinking about anything else. Suddenly, I became in the Spirit; and instead of seeing Jesus, the Holy Spirit revealed to me two people: a young man, and a young woman. It was a shock to me - I didn't expect to see that. They both spoke to me, and said: “Hello Dad”. I was just shocked! They said: “We've got so many things to tell you, about what happens in heaven”. Then I became aware of Jesus standing next to me - He was carrying a little baby in his arms. I realised that child was the grandchild we miscarried in December. Then suddenly I saw another little child, and he said: “hello Granddad”. I could recognise the facial features, and knew which of my children had lost this child.

My attention came around to my son and daughter, and I began to look at them; Jesus was right next to me. They began to talk to me, and said: we want to show you something. Suddenly my eyes opened up. I could see this huge immense vast area - full of children. They were all of different ages; from babies to a little bit older. There were so many that I couldn't count them – vast numbers. They said: these are children that have been miscarried or aborted; there's a special place in heaven for each of them, where angels look after them, and they're educated and grow up.

I realised then, that the size of my grandchild was about the proper age for the one I'd lost. I realised the age of my children were about the right age for when we lost them. As I looked around, at all of these children who had been miscarried or aborted; I realised that God was showing me something else. The ones He was showing me were all Chinese. I was quite shocked!

Then Jesus spoke to me, He had absolutely no condemnation towards anyone at all, I could just feel His love. This is what He said: “Every one of them has a mother, who is grieving over their child, and I want to bring healing to those mothers.” He didn't say anything about what they'd done. He just said: “I love them, and want to help them, because they're grieving”. He said: I want you to begin to study and prepare in this area. I want you to put some materials on DVD, and speak in China. My heart was deeply touched, not just from seeing all the children, but feeling the grief of the mothers. I could feel the heart of Jesus - His immense grief.

Recently we were up in China, and someone came to me privately. I couldn't believe it - they said they'd had an abortion. “Can you help me”, they said. God dramatically ministered and brought healing to this couple. It was like each place I went to after that, there would always be someone who'd come and ask us if we could pray for them.

So I felt I'd share some things about this here – have to start somewhere. I want to share some things from scripture - some basic keys we've learnt that could help. I want to establish that from God's point of view, a child is a living person, with a destiny - even if they're still in the womb. Sometimes people think that, because the child is in the womb: 1) it doesn't understand anything; and 2) that it's not a person - it's just a ‘thing', and often inconvenient.

I want to show you several scriptures quickly, to show you God's point of view. In Judges 13, you'll find something about Samson. Here is the common thread: that before a child is conceived, God already knows them and their characteristics, and has a destiny for their life. So no matter what stage the child is at in the womb, from God's point of view, it is a living person, with a destiny - a person He knows.

Judges 13:2-5 says: There was a certain man of Zorah, of the family of the Danites, whose name was Manoah; and his wife was barren and had borne no children. Then the angel of the LORD appeared to the woman, saying: “Behold now, you are barren and have borne no children, but you shall conceive and give birth to a son. “Now therefore, be careful not to drink wine or strong drink, nor eat any unclean thing. “For behold, you shall conceive and give birth to a son, and no razor shall come upon his head, for the boy shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb; and he shall begin to deliver Israel from the hands of the Philistines.”

Notice these things: before the child is conceived, God already knows it's a son. Secondly, God has a plan that this son will deliver Israel. Thirdly, it's very important how the mother conducted herself while she's pregnant. In other words, God is concerned about negative influences coming in to the unborn child. So you see, in this passage, that before a child is even conceived, God knows the child, and knows its destiny.

1 Kings 13:1-2 says – By the word of the Lord a man of God came from Judah to Bethel, as Jeroboam was standing by the altar to make an offering. By the word of the Lord he cried out against the altar: “Altar, altar! This is what the Lord says: ‘A son named Josiah will be born to the house of David. On you he will sacrifice the priests of the high places who make offerings here, and human bones will be burned on you.'”

The nation is corrupt and full of idolatry. God sends a prophet to warn them. This is what He said: “I am going to bring a child into this world. His name will be called Josiah, and he is going to be a major mover in bringing restoration to the nation”. Do you know how long after that prophecy was given until Josiah came? 360 years! In other words, 360 years before this man appeared, before he was conceived, before he was born - God named him even! God had a name for him, and had a destiny for him.

360 years later, when these parents had this child, they wouldn't have remembered that prophecy. All they did was have a thought come to them: “Let's name this child Josiah”. They didn't even realise, as they named him Josiah, that they were fulfilling something that God had already planned. God had a destiny for that child. 360 years ago, the parents weren't even alive. God could look through time, and say: in 360 years time, there's going to be a couple. The father would be a very corrupt man, but in spite of that fact - that he's a Satan worshipper - I will bring into that family, a child who will change the nation. His name will be called Josiah. You notice again, God has names for children; has destinies for them; and knows them before they're even conceived.

Let's look at another one in Jeremiah 1:4 The word of the Lord came to me, saying, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” How amazing! God says: He forms the child in the womb. He said: before the embryo or foetus was formed, I knew who was going to be in there. In other words - you're a spirit being, and even though the house you're going to live in isn't formed, I know who you are. I know all about you, and I've already set you apart. I already have a destiny for you. Even before you have formed enough that your mother knows anything, I have formed my spirit into you, and you will be a prophet to the nations.

You notice again that even before the child is properly formed, God knows the child, and has a destiny for them. Isn't this amazing? Isaiah 49:1 tells us the same thing. Isaiah was also known to the Lord before he was formed in the womb.

In Psalm 139:16, David says: “Your eyes saw my substance being yet unformed; and in your book were written all the days that were fashioned for me, when yet there are none.” What David is saying is this: when I was a tiniest embryo, just conceived, and I wasn't even formed -You saw me. Not only that, it says: ‘in your book, were written all the days of my life, when I hadn't even begun one of them yet'. In other words, what he's saying is that God saw him as a human being, as a spirit being, as a person with a destiny, and ascribed a course for him, before he was even born.

So these scriptures seem to indicate very strongly that before we're even conceived, God knows we're coming; and at the moment we're conceived, the Spirit of God goes into the child. Even though it's unformed, God loves that child. God has a destiny for that child, even if the child's born into difficult family circumstances.

Josiah was born into a family where the father was a Satanist, but God still had a destiny for him. How amazing that God would see an unborn child like this; see the child in the womb as a living being – with a name, with a destiny, with a life planned out. This is truly amazing.

Over and over in the Bible, we find God speaking about children before they're born. Zachariah and Elizabeth – Elizabeth was barren, and God spoke to Zachariah and said: “You know your wife is barren, she can't have any children”. He said: “I know that”. God said: “You're going to have children. You're going to have a child.” He said: “She's too old for that – how is this going to happen?” He argued with God, but God said “No more arguing. You'll have a child – he is going to be a prophet, and will prepare the way of the Lord”. The Bible is very clear – that God sees people before they're conceived and born, and He has a plan for their life, long before they come out of the womb.

Matthew 1:21 – “She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” Same thing again - before the child is even conceived, God knows the child, knows the name, has a destiny for that child.

How about you? Have a look in Ephesians 2:10, I want you to notice something – “Now you are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for a purpose, for good works, that God prepared beforehand, that we would walk in them”. So what it tells us is that each person is a unique work of God. Each of us is a unique manufacture of God. There's no one like you - your fingerprints are unique, your DNA is unique, everything about you is unique. Before you were born, God had a path for you to walk. It says: you were created for something - for good works. Before you were begun, God had a plan, that you'd do something useful in your life. Amen.

Have a look at the second thing, in Luke 1:39-44. The first thing we need to look at, is that God knows us before we're born. He knows our name; knows what we will be like; and He's interested in us while we're in the womb; and has a purpose for our life.

Let's have a look at the child in the womb. I was reading a secular book recently, and they have done a lot of research more recently with ultrasonic scans of infants in the womb. Prior to this, for about 100 years, people believed that the identity was in the brain – personality, understanding, awareness. But they found an interesting thing, once they started to do these experiments. If the personality and identity and feelings are in the brain, the conclusion that they came to, is that if the brain is not developed, then it is not really a person, so you can get rid of it.

But in the Bible, it's quite different. Recent research shows quite clearly, that it's the heart that develops before the brain. The Bible tells us, that out of your heart is where life flows. Also recent research has shown that the child in the womb is very aware of what's happening around it, even before the mind is developed. This was a secular book, and the conclusion he came to after lots of research, was that an unborn child in the womb is totally aware of what's happening around them, even if the brain isn't fully formed.

In other words - it's a person. The guy came to the conclusion, that there must be some sixth sense that enables the child to know things, when their brain isn't developed enough, and neither was their hearing. He was talking about their spirit - that the spirit of the child recognises what is happening around them. He discovers they could recognise the voice of the father and the mother; recognise conflict; and could understand what was happening around them. This is partly the reason for the Hebrew culture, that once the woman is pregnant, she would go into hiding for quite some months in a peaceful location, so the child could be at peace and rest during the formation stages in the womb. So this is modern research.

Now let's read what the Bible says. In Luke 1:39, it says: “At that time Mary got ready and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judea, where she entered Zechariah's home and greeted Elizabeth.” Now Elizabeth is six months pregnant, and the baby is not yet fully formed. Now look at this - it said: “When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the baby leaped in her womb; and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit.” Who says the baby in the womb doesn't know what's going on? See, Elizabeth was very pregnant; door opens up and Mary was there; and Mary begins to prophesise and flow with the Holy Spirit. Elizabeth is listening to all the words, and the baby is picking up the prophetic flow! The baby goes: “yay!” and kicks, huge kick - full of joy, because this is his destiny – to be a prophet for the Messiah. This is his destiny - right from in the womb. He knows there's something for him, and as soon as he feels the Holy Ghost, he leaps; massive kicks.

So this is something they've only discovered, recently: that the child in the womb is aware of spiritual influences; but it's written in the Bible 2000 years ago. So children in the womb are aware of the environment around them. They're aware of the presence of God; they're aware of the mother and what she feels; they're aware of the father; they're aware of the environment.

Now the reason I've taken a bit of time to share these things, is because I want to talk about the impact when an abortion takes place. The Bible's very clear, when we look from one end to the other, that the devil is hostile to children. From the book of Genesis (Genesis 3:15) it says the devil is hostile to children, because of a promise God made: that through children being born out of women, a saviour would be born.

So when we look right through Bible history, we find demonic attacks on the child - either in the womb, or just born. In the days of Exodus, just before there was a great deliverance, all the male children under two were killed. In the days after King David, Athaliah killed all the royal children but one. In the days of Jesus, the spirit of murder came through Herod, and murdered all the children under two.

The devil has constantly been against children. The womb is an area of conflict. When miscarriages take place, something God intended for good is suddenly stopped. When abortion takes place, the life of a child is taken. Something wrong has happened, and there is a huge impact. I want to talk a little bit about the impact, because as we've prayed for people, we have realised that many people are suffering, but they cannot understand why they were suffering.

The Bible describes a number of reasons why miscarriages take place. But it does lay out this – that God's plan is no miscarriages and that the womb would be fruitful. So when we look at scriptures, we find that miscarriages came because of idolatry. Sometimes they came because of a curse in the family line. Sometimes it was because of incest in the family. Sometimes it was because people were involved in evil spirits.

I won't go into all the scriptures regarding that, but the Bible is very clear that God's intention is that we be productive. So when miscarriages happen, there can be a spiritual cause, or there can be just a natural, physical cause. When we enquired about the last miscarriage, one of my daughters got a word from God that the brain had not formed properly, and that my daughter and her husband had been spared years of grief. Sometimes there's a physical problem, because we live in a fallen world. Sometimes there's a spiritual problem; and sometimes it can be because the mother has made inner vows never to have a child.

Whatever the cause, the result is grief. When a mother carries a child in her womb, and loses the child, there is a deep grief and sense of loss. Men can't easily understand it - that a woman's life is wrapped up with the child, who is drawing life from her body. So when there's a loss, there's a great grief.

I want to focus on the impact of an abortion. Sometimes when we're counselling people, if you don't get to the root of the problem, you can never solve the problem. As I researched this area, I began to find that everywhere, they came up with the same conclusions – in order for a woman to have an abortion, she must somehow distance herself that this is a real person. Either the doctor informs her: it's nothing, and it's just a medical procedure; or because of fear, or difficulties in the physical situation, she just doesn't want to acknowledge what's happening.

One of the core issues is the denial this is a human being. Once the mother has denied that it is a human being, then it's just a physical operation like having your tooth pulled. However, that is not the truth.

Here are some of the things that are commonly attributed now, to someone having an abortion. These are widely-known symptoms, known as post-abortion trauma syndrome. Let me list them for you; and then we'll show how people can be set free. Surveys done on people indicated these kind of issues. I'll just list them without explaining them too much.

1) Shame – they'll feel shame and secrecy coupled with low personal-esteem.

2) Deep feelings of guilt – just guilt that would not go away.

3) Depression – often bouts of depression, sadness and crying, but no apparent reason. Because remember, if you've concealed the truth with a lie; if you've refused to accept this was a life that was taken; then you won't understand why you're so sad. If it wasn't anything - how could I be sad about it?

4) Suicidal thinking and attempts.

5) Issues with self-hate.

6) Issues with sleep disorders.

7) Flashbacks - the woman suddenly remembers the trauma, and goes back into shock and grief.

8) A strong desire for replacement babies; unconsciously wanting a baby, to make up for the baby that was lost. What's called “anniversary syndrome” - on the date of the abortion or the date the child was to be born, the mother begins to become depressed and weep, but usually doesn't know why.

9) Another thing is trying to atone, by spoiling the other children.

10) Alcohol or drug problems.

11) Self-punishing behaviour – I deserve to be punished, which could be self-harm (cutting), abusive relationships, or promiscuity.

12) It can be physical problems – constant bleeding, or constant miscarriages.

13) Often there's a deep guilt – I survived, but at the cost of my child. These are terrible feelings that people have.

I had a woman come to me for prayer recently, and I said to her: “What is your problem?” She said: “I have been bleeding for about 12 years. We desperately want children but cannot have any”. I said: “Have you ever had an abortion?” She said: “Yes. I had 4”. I said to the lady, in the spirit of love, “You actually have a family of 4 children, but they're all in heaven - and your actions have brought this about. When they told you this was a simple procedure - they lied. Actually, it's caused you this problem you now have. You and your husband are without a child to hold, because the ones you could've held, you've now lost”.

She just began to weep and weep. We shared with her that God loved her, and would forgive her; so she was restored to the Lord, and her heart was healed. I'll show you exactly how, shortly. My prayer is that the next time I'm there, she'll have a baby. I was at City Harvest this year, and a lady came up with a husband and a little baby. She said: “You must see our little baby - it's a miracle baby. It was 12 months since you were last here. We had a very bad first child, very difficult pregnancy, and I made an inner vow that I'd never have another child. So, every time I get pregnant, I lose the child through miscarriage. I realised when I went through your teaching, that I made an inner vow. I renounced the inner vow, and asked God to bless my womb - 3 months later I'm pregnant, and here's our little baby.” Actually it was short of 3 months, it was around 1 month.

So you see again, the spiritual connection to problems in the life. So, one of the issues that we have found, is that many problems women suffer with - they can't trace it back to the abortion, because they've pretended that nothing really happened. I want to share very quickly the path to get free.

Jeremiah 31:15 says: “Rachel, weeping for her children, unable to be comforted, because they are no more.” So how can we get free? For someone who is in this situation, the first step is to turn to Jesus Christ. John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” So whatever you're suffering from, Jesus is able to save and heal you.

So we see then, the consequences of abortion are far bigger than we realise. They affect the mother; spirits are imparted to the womb that affect the next children; the family are affected; the man who was the father has lost his child; the grandparents have lost a grandchild; and siblings born after that are affected by the trauma.

I remember one lady brought her child to me. I said: “What's the problem?” She said: “My child will not bond and breast feed. In fact, as soon as I put him on the breast, he begins to scream. What can we do?” I said, “You didn't by any chance, try and abort this child did you?” She said: “Yes.” I said: “Is it surprising that the child is afraid of you? It senses the spirit of murder - it's not going to bond to someone who tried to destroy it”. She was shocked! She asked Jesus to forgive her, I prayed for the mother and child, and the child bonded. As soon as the child was delivered from the spirit of fear and murder, immediately it started to bond - it was a huge impact.

So let's have a look at how to get free. There are three areas: spiritual issues; emotional issues; and relationship issues. The answer is incredibly simple - it's very easy for you to move out of the place of death to life.

1) We need to face the spiritual issues. So the first thing is to face the truth: this is what I did - I took the life of my child. Most mothers only do it because they're under such pressure and stress - pressure from the boyfriend or husband; pressure from the family; pressure from circumstances; but nevertheless - they must take responsibility.

The first key to being set free is to break the lie. Isaiah 28 it tells us that when we cover ourselves up with a lie, we are in covenant with death and hell. So the first step is to face the truth: I had a child, and I've taken the life of my child. Just facing the truth hugely breaks open this problem.

2) You need to repent and confess it to the Lord. You need to actually come with words to the Lord. 1 John 1:9 says: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful to forgive us and cleanse us”. So God has already forgiven us - all you need to do, is position yourself to receive it.

3) The third area is forgiveness. Firstly the person must receive forgiveness - I am forgiven by God; secondly, they must forgive themselves; and thirdly, they must forgive other people. Often, the woman may be very angry at the man; very angry at the father; or very angry at the parents; or very angry at the people who did the procedures; angry at the friends who encouraged her to do it. There can be a lot of anger and grief - and that needs to be faced, and let go of - by forgiveness. Forgiveness is the way we resolve those things; and then deliverance from the demonic spirits.

Confession; release forgiveness; and deliverance from those spirits. And in a moment we'll pray for people to be set free. There's another area that's also needed. This is what we found to be extremely helpful. I have seen people break and weep when we've just taken this step: Ask the Lord - what is this child? Jesus knows, God knows your child - Is this a boy or a girl? Listen to your heart, and God will tell you; just like that.

The next thing to do is to give it a name and an identity. So we're breaking the lie by giving it an identity. We'll ask them, could you name your child. You know how hard it is to name children. You spend days working out a name for a child; but I found that in this kind of process, I've come to the conclusion that God's already named them - I just need to listen to the name. So ask the Lord: what is the name of my child I've lost? Or just rise up and give your child a name.

This lady that had the four abortions, I said: ask the Lord to show you what they were. And she said quite quickly “girl, boy, boy, girl”. I said: now let's give them names. All were named within the space of a couple of minutes. Now, she began to grieve - she started to be aware of her children.

I said, “Now the next step is to release your children to the Lord. See Jesus standing there, and pass your children to Him. Here's what you know: one day you'll see your children again.” So sometimes we pray a little prayer: Jesus, I release my child to You. I release her into your arms. Please tell her I'm so sorry for what I did, and I'm looking forward to meeting her again - a very simple prayer.

But you notice, all it has done is removed all the lie, and bring it down to the truth. Often there's a lot of grief, pain and emotions. Sometimes there are other broken relationships to repair. The path to freedom is very simple.

Of course, if the person's had a miscarriage, there's no sin to confess usually; unless there's some generational cause. But I have found it helpful, every time, to close your eyes and open your heart to the Lord. Ask Him to show you what the child was, and tell you the name. Now, it's not a thing - it's a person; and you'll see your child again. That is the hope of the gospel – the child is in heaven.

So whenever you speak to Jesus, you're speaking to someone who is speaking to your child. Leave your child is Jesus' hands, because one day you'll see them again. I have seen so many people set free, so many broken hearts healed. What a relief to have the secrecy, shame, and lies broken, and a broken heart healed, by faith in Jesus Christ.

A very simple thing to do, and I believe God wants to touch many. Let's close our eyes. I want you to know how much God loves you. Jesus came into this earth, God in the flesh. He showed us what heaven is like, He showed us the kingdom of God, and he invited us to connect with Him. We're all born in sin, separated from God, we can't even find God's way; but Jesus died on the cross for our sins. He rose again from the dead; broke the power of sin. Jesus said these words: to everyone who received Him, made Him welcome, believed in Him, He gave power to become a child of God.

The Silent Scream

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Dr. Bernard Nathanson's classic video that shocked the world. He explains the procedure of a suction abortion, followed by an actual first trimester abortion as seen through ultrasound. The viewer can see the child's pathetic attempts to escape the suction curette as her heart rate doubles, and a "silent scream" as her body is torn apart.

A great tool to help people see why abortion is murder. The most important video on abortion ever made. This video changed opinion on abortion to many people.

Introduction by Dr. Bernard Nathanson, host. Describes the technology of ultrasound and how, for the first time ever, we can actually see inside the womb. Dr. Nathanson further describes the ultrasound technique and shows examples of babies in the womb. Three-dimensional depiction of the developing fetus, from 4 weeks through 28 weeks. Display and usage of the abortionists' tools, plus video of an abortionist performing a suction abortion.

Dr. Nathanson discusses the abortionist who agreed to allow this abortion to be filmed with ultrasound. The abortionist was quite skilled, having performed more than 10,000 abortions. We discover that the resulting ultrasound of his abortion so appalled him that he never again performed another abortion.

The clip begins with an ultrasound of the fetus (girl) who is about to be aborted. The girl is moving in the womb; displays a heartbeat of 140 per minute; and is at times sucking her thumb. As the abortionist's suction tip begins to invade the womb, the child rears and moves violently in an attempt to avoid the instrument. Her mouth is visibly open in a "silent scream." The child's heart rate speeds up dramatically (to 200 beats per minute) as she senses aggression. She moves violently away in a pathetic attempt to escape the instrument. The abortionist's suction tip begins to rip the baby's limbs from its body, ultimately leaving only her head in the uterus (too large to be pulled from the uterus in one piece). The abortionist attempts to crush her head with his forceps, allowing it to be removed.

In an effort to "dehumanize" the procedure, the abortionist and anesthesiologist refer to the baby's head as "number 1." The abortionist crushes "number 1" with the forceps and removes it from the uterus. Abortion statistics are revealed, as well as who benefits from the enormously lucrative industry that has developed. Clinics are now franchised, and there is ample evidence that many are controlled by organized crime.

Women are victims, too. They haven't been told about the true nature of the unborn child or the facts about abortion procedures. Their wombs have been perforated, infected, destroyed, and sterilized. All as a result of an operation about which they they have had no true knowledge.

Films like this must be made part of "informed consent." NARAL (National Abortion Rights Action League) and Planned Parenthood are accused of a conspiracy of silence, of keeping women in the dark about the reality of abortion.

Finally, Dr. Nathanson discusses his credentials. He is a former abortionist, having been the director of the largest clinic in the Western world.

个人见证：收养女儿的婚礼

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这是一个曲折的爱情故事，有欢笑也有悲伤。就像罗密欧与朱丽叶一样，他们这一对年轻的情侣因各自的家庭背景被迫分开。更糟糕的是，他们将一个婴儿带到了世上，并决定放弃她。但是这个故事，不像其他的故事那样，它因为有神的介入，让悲剧变为欢笑，有了一个开心的结局。

个人见证――养女的婚礼

迈克Mike和乔伊康奈尔Joy Connell与他们的女儿约瑟芬分享他们重归于好的故事；见证当我们顺服神时，神是怎样把境况完全转变过来的。

我要与你们分享两个原则，然后我们将分享见证神的良善；见证非常良善的神，见证他带给我们生命中的祝福，只有祝福；简直就像是个童话，让人难以置信。

我们要与你们分享见证，并将重点放在我们是怎样做的，从而引出要讲的那些原则。神是永远不变的，神总是好的；但只有在我们自己预备好时，他的良善才会释放；实际上，你必须做出决定，定位好自己，接受从神来的祝福。

定位的意思是：你呈现的状态，或你说的话，或你做的事， 给神留出空间，让神来触摸你的生命。

圣经说得很清楚：我们必须相信神是一个好的神；我们必须相信他会来触摸我们的生命。

我要先分享一下我们的背景，我们的日常生活；我们从哪里来，是什么让我们来到这里。我们还要重点讲一下神怎样奇妙地来到之前一个周末的婚礼上。

我们参加的是我们结婚以前送给别人收养的女儿的婚礼；对我来说，能主持婚礼，规划婚礼的程序，安排接待的程序，这一切都让人难以置信；甚至能去到那里本身就是一个奇迹；但能够很荣幸地计划和安排这些程序，给神留出空间，更加重要。

我会先重点讲述两个原则，然后讲解我们怎样把这些原则应用在生活的各个方面；以及神是怎样地信实，让我们有如此令人难以置信的见证。

把孩子送给别人收养的故事，通常并没有这么好的结局，这只是其中的一个；但它展示了神总是好的，因此，不管故事的结局是 什么，神的良善永不改变。

对一些人来说，找到养父母是非常痛苦的，甚至会增加他们已经经历的痛苦。而对我们来说，正好相反；我们要与大家分享一些背景资料。

两个原则：

1. 雅各书 4：6 “神赐恩给谦卑的人。” 当圣经讲到谦卑，它是指你“心里的状态”，你的态度；谦卑并不是奴颜婢膝。谦卑的意思是：你坦率地面对神，承认生命中的错误和失败，不试图掩盖或辩解；这非常重要。谦卑让 我们既看到我们生命中负面的东西，也看到潜能，就像神看到的。圣经告诉我们：神将授权给谦卑的人，就是你要定位自己，在以下方面与神达成一致： A.你的错误和失败；对此持开放的态度。 B. 神是怎样说你和你的生命；（如果他说：“你被赦免了”；那你就被赦免了）。谦卑指的是：我相信；我坚持。C.这是你的定位，是神呼召你去做的。谦卑能通过大胆而坚强地经受考验显明自己。对一些人来说，它看起来像是骄傲，但它不是；它实际上是：我与神就我是谁，我受呼召去做什么， 与神达成一致；这就是谦卑。

2. 第二个原则是：尊敬的原则；圣经上对它的描述是负面的，罗马书1：21 说：“因为他们虽然知道神，却不当作神荣耀他，也不感谢他。他们的思念变为虚妄，无知的心就昏暗了”。原则是：你尊敬和感激的将走向你；你不敬的将远离你。尊敬，荣誉和价值将吸引人进入你的生命；而不敬将让人离开。如果你不重视金钱，它很快就远离你；当你尊重它，处理得当，它就会走向你；生命就是这样。“尊敬某人”的意思是：给予他们恰当的承认，位置和价值；它可以表现在对待他们的态度，或言语，或行为。当我们尊敬人，我们重视他们，我们把自己放在低微的位置，从而使他们被举起。如果我们要圆满地与神同行，享受神的祝福，我们要学习：谦卑的原则和尊敬的原则。

在三种情况下我们会尊敬人：

1. 我们尊敬他们，因为：他们所做的事；如果有人 做了什么著名的事，你应该尊敬他，重视他，感激他。

2. 你应该尊敬一个人的品德，就是他是什么样的人。如果某人勇敢，他们可能从没有站出来，但只要有一刻他们在压力下表现出勇敢，你尊敬他。

3. 我们要认同我们生命中其他人的地位和等级；重视他们，尊敬他们，只因为他们的地位。这就是为什么圣经上说：尊敬你的父母；你可能做的很好；但你也可能说：我不知道我父母是怎样的人；其实没有关系，你尊敬他们，因为：这是在你的生命中，神给他们的地位；如果你尊敬他们，你就会得到祝福。

两个原则：谦卑的原则；就是在生命上，在神怎样说我们上，与神达成一致，坚信神说的 是真实的。尊敬的原则；就是愿意给人价值和适当的尊敬。你会发现这总能释放出神的恩典。

说了这些后，我们要分享这些原则是怎样应用在我们的生命中的；有关在我们结婚前发生的事，然后神怎样解决我们生命中出现的这些问题。

[Joy Connell说] 我要和大家分享一段经文，这是主这一周让我注意到的。“在旷野预备耶和华的路，在沙漠地修平我们神的道”。它许多年都是一个沙漠，也是神的道，因为神要来到沙漠。经上还说“一切山洼都要填满”；那对我来说确实是一段非常低谷的时期：小孩被秘密的送给人收养；那真是一个非常低的低谷。

但经上说：“一切山洼都要填满”。而参加她的婚礼是一个非常高的位置，真奇妙。经上说：“大小山冈都要削平”；对我来说，在怀孕的时候面对父母， 那曾经是一座大山，是我无法翻越的大山。上周六，我所有的家庭成员都在那里，与我们站在一起，人很多。经上还说：“弯弯曲曲的地方要改为正直；高高低低的道路要改为平坦”！“耶和华的荣耀必然显现”；我们看到神荣耀的显现。“凡有血气的必一同看见”；是的，婚礼上所有的人都看到了神的荣耀；他们不知道那是神的荣耀，但那确实是。“因为这是耶和华亲口说的”；因为神给了我们应许，他所判定和宣称的，就会实现。

我相信，现在是时候对你们的高山发出预言；我知道你们许多人正面对高山，但神能削平他们，而当他这么做的时候，那绝对奇妙。

如果你看圣经一开始所说的，当亚当犯罪的时候，因为害怕，他躲了起来。在我们约会了七年后，有一次发生了很大的冲突。因为害怕，我采取了亚当和夏娃同样的方法；他们把自己隐秘地躲藏起来，我想，这是一个可以仿效的办法。

我也有内在誓言，就是过去你自己告诉自己的，让自己捆绑在其中。当遇到危机的时候，你就按照这已经在心底编制好的程式运作。尽管它们不是最好的办法，但这是你的办法，因为你已经告诉自己要怎么做。

我从来也没有准备诱骗什么人与我结婚，或经历在我的教会看到的：先怀孕后结婚的羞愧。

我的内在誓言告诉我：“没可能我会去到那里”；但实际发生的是：内在誓言的控制力极强，它在你的心灵周围筑起高墙；这就是我当时情况。此外，我自己的办法就是仿效；Mike刚才说谦卑是“承认神的办法”；但如果你不转向神，你有各种自己认为可以仿效的“好办法”。

仇敌也会出几个“好主意”，当你听从了它，按照你自己的办法去仿效，基本上可以带来即时但短暂的安慰。你保护了自己，但所有这些办法带来隔离和更大的痛苦，进一步的伤害，以及更多的捆绑；但这就是当时1969年时的情况。

[Mike Connell说] 在我们结婚前，我还不是基督徒，并不认识神。当Joy怀孕后，我们决定把这女孩送给别人收养；这是个非常坏的选择，非常错误的决定；它是在压力下做出的决定，因为没有能力去勇敢地承受。因此，在犯了一个错误后，我们紧接着又犯了第二个错误。圣经上说，如果你想掩盖事情，你绝不会成功；所以，此后的许多年我们忍受了极大的伤心和痛苦。

我们从来没有忘记这个女儿，没有忘记为她祷告，总想知道她怎么样了。你无法放下这些事，这简直成了你生活的一部分。后来，我来到主的面前，完全认罪悔改，就我所做的，与神达成一致：要为过错负责；为了Joy，要勇敢承受拒绝这个孩子所带来的后果。

我那天在主面前誓言（有些誓言是非常好的），公开地认罪悔改；我说“不管我们现在处在生命的那个阶段，我知道有一天你会把这个孩子带回来，因为你是神；不是我们有权这样，因为我们已经放弃我们的权力；而是因为神是良善的，你会带她回来”。

我心里知道，我坚信，她会回来；所以，当我认罪悔改后，我向神说：“你带她回来的那一天，不管我会是什么身份和地位，我将接受她以任何身份回到我们的生命中；我们将给予过去应该给她而没给她的，认可她，爱她，欢迎她。

谦卑看起来就是这样；你实际上完全掉转过来，在需要发生什么事上与神达成一致。

几年后我们来到这里；神向我们讲了生命中的问题，我们有一个婚礼更新或婚姻更新的服务。

[Joy Connell说] 教堂仍然很小；当我们结婚时，只能在护士的小礼拜堂；我们有：一个天主教的神父，圣公会的牧师（与一个兄弟会的结了婚，对我这方面的事情很理解）。很奇妙，神的同在就临到了。

让双方家庭都接受的婚姻看起来似乎是完全不可能的；但Mike同宿舍的人离开神学院当了天主教的神父，其中一个摔断了腿住进惠灵顿医院，在那里与一个长老会的护士相爱，从而给我们创造了一个先例；他从主教（或其它什么人）那里获得特许，可以结婚。

所以，我们只是遵循他的先例；在看起来毫无可能的情况下，神为我们开了一条路。结婚后，我们意识到，许多事已经改变；我们已经支离破碎，仅仅存活下来，找到返回神那里的路。我们还认识到，那时教会里有其它人也像我们一样；他们来到神那里，他们的情况完全改变，准备开始全新的婚姻；所以，我们与12对夫妇一起，交谈了三个星期；我们谈论婚姻的基础，准备再次经历婚礼；而在那里，我第一次揭开了心中的秘密。

我从来没有告诉我父母我有一个女儿，但在这个小组里，我们讲述了自己的背景；我们决定：这是我们放下包袱的时候了；或许我们应该写信给福利部门，看看能不能与失去的女儿恢复联系。

你知道吗？神真是太好了。我们女儿的养母Carol觉得她的女儿有权知道她的来历，因此她也写了信给福利部门；我们双方的信同一天到达了福利部门。因为符合双方的意愿，福利部门给了我们有关的资讯，我们就开始了联系。

对我来说，这真是很难；当你已经掩盖了什么事，已经否认了她，而突然要面对现实；我真是无法适应，甚至不能看到她的照片。我打算把这些事封闭起来，把它严严实实地用大石头压住；神说：推开这个石头，不要走到这一步；我意识到它是死亡，它是丑陋，它是痛苦；但当你真正把石头推开，看着照片，你想：这实际上是一个人。

她的名字叫Josephine；我想：这有点像一个教名；神提醒我约瑟的故事：与他所有的兄弟分离，后来一起团圆。

面对现实是一件大事，尤其当你已经在否认中生活了18年时；但我们必须真正推开石头，揭开盖子；然后你就感到自己极其脆弱，完全要依靠神。

而这正是他要我们做的，不再掩饰曾经掩饰的东西；在创世纪的时候，他们身上曾经有无花果的树叶遮盖，但他们实际上要脱下它，来接受皮制的遮盖，如同耶稣基督在十字架上给我们的预备。对我来说，这也是非常脆弱的一个环节。

[Mike Connell说] 所以，谦卑的问题再一次出现；我们必须面对我们个人生活中的问题，把各样事情理顺，并认识到我们的生命受到深深的伤害；然后来到主的面前，承认这些； 主清楚的告诉我：你要理顺这些。

我不得不与Joy一道理顺这些；我去找到她的父亲，在他面前理顺这些事；我们要清理我们做错的；当你这样做的时候，当你按照神说的去做时，他就给你祝福，他就给你恩典。

[Joy Connell说] 是的，我记得我把父母请来，我说：“我要和你们说一些事，…”；我把他们带到我知道的最好的餐馆 Old Flame，让他们坐下。我告诉他们我向他们隐藏的事情，并为此向他们深深的道歉，请求他们原谅。

[Mike Connell说] 我们改正错误，这实际上是尊敬他们；哪里有不尊敬的地方，就要在那里恢复尊敬；这有很大的不同。

[Joy Connell说] 然后我们写信给Josephine，向她道歉；我们两个都为对她的拒绝，以及因此给她的生活造成的影响，表示了谦意，并请求她原谅。然后，我们决定要欢迎她。我们邀请她来家里住；这也是一个奇迹。她当时正在学牙医，现在已经是Whakatane的一个牙医了。她当时在奥塔哥学牙医正学了一半，她正在学一个假期课程，我们邀请她在假期课程结束后到家里来。

当然，当你正牧养着一个教会，当你已经有了六个孩子，你不可能对教会什么也不说就在下星期天又带一个孩子来。但这个教会非常了不起；在她来之前的周日，我们在教会站起来，分享了我们的见证。当时的一些人今天还在这里，我记得你们的样子。在当天的崇拜结束时，神真是太好了，所有人的密室都打开了，所有人的丑事都揭开了；神感动了大家，带给大家极大的医治；作为一个教会大家庭，你们很好地回应了我们。我们邀请她来到家里，来的那天刚好是Mike 44 岁的生日。

[Mike Connell说] 怎么这么巧？

[Joy Connell说] 那是她说好要来的日子。

[Mike Connell说] 她不知道我的生日，但来的那天刚好是我的生日。

那星期我们渡过了一个美好的时光；这以后，她联系上了我们，渐渐认识了我们，也爱我们。每次回来都哭，与我们的家庭紧紧地联系在了一起。

直到有一天，一个男孩想与她结婚；他尊敬我，来征得我的许可，那真是让我惊讶。我没有任何权力；你知道，当你把孩子送给人收养，你就没有了权力；而且在过去一段日子，甚至都失去了联系，没有办法联系；现在，这一切都过去了。

当我们把孩子送给人收养时，神对我说话；我心里知道她会回来，但看不出有任何可能的办法，因为我们之间没有任何联系，你不能获得联系方法；后来，法律改变了，让这成为可能；她回来了，我们能重新建立联系；然后，这男孩向我请求让他们结婚，这是我极大的荣幸。

她也尊敬我，让我帮助安排结婚事宜。她曾经来过我们家的婚礼，非常喜欢；她说：我不知道那是什么，但我就想要这样的婚礼。

这样，非常奇妙，我就有了一个新角色，参与策划婚礼接待；因此，就做出一些安排，让神进来。我教她怎样去尊敬她的养父母；在她离开他们的照顾，建立新的家庭时，怎样向他们说话，说些什么。

[Joy Connell说] 那时，尽管Mike有机会帮她准备婚礼，教她怎样尊敬她的养父母，当然那会立刻带来眼泪；Mike与他们并没有感情上的联系，但他列出了他们为她做出的许多事，以及怎样尊崇感谢他们。

同一时刻，我在去台湾的飞机上，正看着一个收养故事的电影；看完后，我深受感动，我决定给Josephine写一封信。

写到她的婚礼时，我在信中赞扬了她的勇气，赞扬了她走出的每一步；我也为自己当时的决定后悔；但在那以后做出的决定都是非常正确的：与Mike结了婚，把我们的心交给了主，把我们的生命建立在他的上面，用这些来鼓励她。

但我忘记把寄出去；所有，我到了台湾在酒店安顿下来以后，我拿酒店的信纸写了信，交给前台帮我寄出。

信在我们妇女大会开会的那天送到了，刚好是她婚礼前一天的疼惜日，她邀请我与她一同过疼惜日，但我要参加妇女大会，去不了；但就在她准备离开去过疼惜日的时候，她收到了我的信，这让她感觉我与她在一起。

[Mike Connell说] 我们去到婚礼；婚礼的排练非常的困难，你必须面对问题。

我们与主同行时， 如果我们做出了不好的决定和选择，他不会让我们免于承担后果；而你如果要成长，你就必须知道，做了坏的决定和选择，就会有坏的后果；尽管神会赦免我们，但我们仍需承担由此产生的后果。

当然，对我来说，最大的挑战就是在婚礼上，另一个男人会牵着我的女儿走过长廊；那对我真是非常难，你会看到，我过一阵会给你们看几张照片。（附视频）

前一夜，我非常痛苦；我们排练了婚礼，并与他们待了一段时间，但没有神的同在；感觉非常别扭，非常不舒服；排练结束后，我去了海边的沙滩，在神面前哭泣。

我说：神啊，这真是太难了，你要帮助我们。

看起来将没有真正的价值和尊敬；你知道新西兰人是怎样的，他们那奇怪的幽默，那种奚落人似的幽默。

我非常想要神的认可，神的同在不，来到那地方；但似乎就是不行；那晚见了她的家人，排练了婚礼；回到家，我感到非常的苦恼；我对神说：神啊，你必须帮助我；你要告诉我怎样才能让明天的婚礼与今天的排练不同。

我可能花了大概两个小时，等待神的回复，知道在那个特殊的场合要怎样说怎样做；

那真是一个非常奇妙，不同寻常的感受；我们一边说，一边会给大家看一些照片，让你们多多少少也能感受一些。它是最不同寻常的感受，“另一个”男人带着我的女儿走下长廊；处理好因此产生的情绪，是很大的挑战；但这是我多年前的决定产生的后果，我必须承受。

我知道神会给恩典；他做的就是：他让我讲尊敬，真正展现出尊敬，用尊敬来启动整个婚礼。

因此，我们让Kate 和 Andrew （我们的女婿和媳妇）一起唱了一首歌；在他们开始唱的时候，气氛开始改变；不是因为他们选的歌，而是因为他们内在的生命，气氛开始改变，神的同在临到那里；你能感到气氛的改变，当然，每个人都看着我：他会说什么呢？ “你会说什么呢？你会说多少呢？”

我们同情她的养父母；因为最开始，我们觉得或许我们家只来两个人参加婚礼，但Jo要所有人都来；所以，我们对说什么“很敏感”；但神准确地告诉我该说什么。

[Joy Connell说] 小男孩Alex是Josephine的小儿子。

[Mike Connell说] 那是她的养父母；这是他们在婚礼上把我女儿交给新郎Steve。

我感到神告诉我要真正尊敬她的养父母，因为他们会感到不舒服；谦卑就是知道自己的位置，适应恰当的位置；有时你可以是管事的，但有时你必须当仆人。你要看到神给你的位置，并自己选择这个位置；我花了相当时间去尊崇他们；直接了当地向他们说，尊崇他们。

对他们来说，收养了这样一个孩子，是一个非常艰难的选择。

[Joy Connell说] 她是先天性髋关节脱位。真是令人惊讶；这个妈妈声称是无神论者，但她看到我们这个孩子说：我知道她会没事的；10个月的时候，她站起来走路了。

[Mike Connell说] 在医院的时候，没有人要她，我们不知道为什么。

她的养母本不想要这个孩子，因为她以为这孩子是个瘸子；但她的心里觉得她应该要这个孩子；因此，我尊崇她选择欢迎Josephine进入她的生命。

我们尊崇了孩子受到的教育和他们家庭生活的环境；我们尊崇了他们鼓励孩子找到我们，知道这对他们来说是非常困难的；

[Joy Connell说] 我们还尊崇了他们为我们开放了他们家。

[Mike Connell说] 并欢迎我们去他们家相聚，与他们共度时光。

[Joy Connell说] 我们与Josephine见面后没多久，就与他们第一次见面，当时感觉很奇怪；我们去到新西兰南岛的最顶端，两对父母，加上Josephine，一起吃饭。邀请我们来到他们家是一件大事；但让我觉得有趣的是：吃饭吃到一半，她的养母向我倾诉了她的心声，讲了她的感受，心情；然后突然她说：嗨，你完全是个陌生人，我不知道为什么跟你讲这些。

[Mike Connell说] 我做的就是尊崇他们；尊崇她的兄弟们，我们全部家庭成员都与我们同来，支持我们，没有一个漏掉。我尊崇了Steve，为他来找我征求允许的恰当举动；然后是Josephine，为她寻找我们的勇气和意愿，并欢迎我们进入她的生命中和心底里。

我非常清楚地指出：我们来这里不是因为我们“有权”来，而是特别的恩典，由于她善意的决定。

我与他们分享了“智慧建立房屋”；用智慧建立婚姻；用智慧建立各样东西，关系，生意，及事工。

但智慧是要从神的眼光来看问题，做选择；我承认我曾做了不好的选择；我们曾生活在痛悔之中；但现在，我们很高兴，神为我们开路让这一天临到；我们那天能去到那里就是一个奇迹。

[Joy Connell说] 当神要恢复事情时，是轻而易举的；他有着宽广的胸怀。

在婚礼之前，Mike和我去了尼日利亚庆祝我们25年结婚纪念；一个尼日利亚先知把他瘦骨伶仃的手指放在我的脸上，并让我知道了以下的信息：在神的眼里，Josephine就像一个孤儿。

我的意思是，那个家庭真是太好了；我们两个都是老师，他们两个也都是老师；她在乡村长大，有自己的小羊小牛当宠物，受到非常好的教养。

唯一所缺的是神。她完全不知道神的事，因此在神的眼里，她是一个孤儿。我想：喔，神啊，你心里装着那些不认识你的孤儿；宁愿在世上一无所有，也要认识耶稣，他是一切。

所以，这让我感触很多，与神在孤儿上达成一致，明白了神的心里装着孤儿，而我们关心孤儿的心也是由此而来的。我很高兴你们今天在坐的许多人赞助孤儿，神是站在他们一边的。

神很伤心，因为Josephine对神的事一无所知。

[Mike Connell说] 到了接待的时候，我们不知道会怎样。当我们进去的时候，我们注意到Jo做了一件有趣的事。

她坐在主桌，安排两对父母坐在她的对面，他们得到同等的待遇；真是奇妙！人是办不到的。然后，她站起来，尊重收养她的养父母家庭，感谢他们；这之后，她尊重了我们。

心里非常感动；当你尊重别人时，能打开人的心灵。我们再多看几张照片，非常幸福的一对。

原本她妈妈说她没有什么要说的。开始时她突然又说：“我要说几句。”

尊重人就会拉近人们彼此间的距离，也会与神靠近。当你尊重别人的时候，上帝的同在就会悄悄降临。所以她站起来开始讲话，我们非常吃惊。

[Joy Connell说] 是的，前一晚真的很尴尬，她根本都没有正面看我，她一直在忙啊，忙的。

[Mike Connell说] 显然很痛苦。

[Joy Connell说] 在婚礼上被敬重，使她消除了疑虑。在Josephine敬重她之后，她站起来说话，她本来没打算要说的，她看起来那么漂亮。

她说出了她心底的话，我想Josephine从来都没有听到她的心底话；她尊重她每一个孩子，其中三个是领养的，一个是亲生的。他们每一个人都是非常宝贵的。

她尊重Josephine，讲述她为他们的生活带来了无比的欢乐，他们拥有的所有快乐的时光。最让我震惊的是…（哭泣）

[Mike Connell说] 她说每年的圣诞节或者是Josephine的生日的时候，他们总想到失去她的那个家庭，他们非常感恩，我们的损失是他们的收获。

当然你可以体会我们当时的感受，因为每一年我们都会想起我们失去的女儿。她那样说非常触动我们两人的心。我们两人都站起来了，我说：没有一年我们不思念我们的女儿，我们每年为她祷告，这是我们的重大损失。

我们很感激Josephine愿意让我们重新回到她的生命中，真的非常感动。你可以听到周围哭泣的声音，我甚至都不敢向四周看，因为到处都有人在抹眼泪。我们意识到整个人群当中，有婚姻破碎的，有被收养的，有失去孩子的，有混合家庭的，有各式各样的问题，当人们感到被尊重的时候，他们的心打开了。

[Joy Connell说] 这样神就可以进来了。

[Mike Connell说] 神进来做工。

[Joy Connell说] 尊重人就可以让神降临，这是一个大能的经历。

Josephine不希望我们在招待会上讲太多，如果她的父母不讲话，我们也会相应的去做。但是她的父母双方都讲的很好，很长；她也让我们有机会再讲两句，我们不会讲太多，我们只是尊重她，她看起来多么的漂亮，感谢她欢迎我们一家人。

关于她的未婚夫Steve，有两件奇妙的事情。首先，Josephine第一次来我们教会拜访我们之后，回到她的住处。当她不在的时候，她的一位室友受洗了。她说，我知道你们说什么，我去我亲生父亲的教会，我知道你们说了什么。

第二件事是，Josephine在Steve出现之前还有过几段关系，她的感觉是：我就知道你们喜欢这个人。因为有一天，Steve让一位像Mike这样的人为他受伤的背部祷告，他躺倒在地上足足有二十分钟，起来后完全得医治了。所以他真实的感受到了神的大能。Josephine说：我知道你们会喜欢他！

婚礼前一个星期的礼拜六，Steve在水深28米的海里潜水，氧气用完了，他快速的上浮，然后就得了潜函病(深海潜水员因浮出水面太快而感到关节剧痛﹑ 呼吸困难的症状)，被送进减压室直到结婚前两天才出来。

我真高兴Steve能跟我们在一起，感谢神保守了他。我不知道这是不是邪灵在做工，这种事情非常困难。神为每一个人都有计划和命定，我相信它正在展开。

我尊重他所做的，我们没有权利要求成为神伟大计划的一部分，是的，我们没有权利。但是神是这样的美好，他赐恩典给我们，让我们有机会认识他，敬重他，成为他计划的一部分。

[Mike Connell说] 我们分享了一些故事，它对人们的影响是惊人的。还有很多事情我不便公开，它们是非常宝贵的经验。

但是有一件事令人非常感动，Jo的儿子Alex，七岁了，他在婚礼前跟Steven谈话，Steven问他，“你想让我成为你的继父吗？”他说，“不想，我已经有一个爸爸了，我不需要一个继父，我就叫你Steve吧。”

但是婚礼过后，神的同在触摸了人的心。Alex问:“为什么有人哭啊？”Jo说，“当人们讲出他们心里的话，他们就会感动。”Alex说，“我也想说几句。”

于是这个七岁的孩子拿起了麦克风，他敬重他的妈妈，说她非常漂亮，对他多么的好。然后他又敬重Steve，他说：Steve，我愿意你成为我的继父，我愿意你在我生命中有这个位置。

[Joy Connell说] 他坐下来后就开始流眼泪。

[Mike Connell说] 是的，他坐下来哭起来了。还有很多这样的事情发生。

还有一件对我非常重要的事情。虽然在婚礼前感觉有些尴尬，但是婚礼后，Josephine的妈妈走过来跟我说：谢谢你教导她将婚礼办的这么好。我感谢她的认同，其实我们所做的就是教导她尊重人的原则。

当Josephine一路这样做的时候，神的同在降临，使整个事件变得不寻常。感谢神，有些事情我们从来都是做不到的。

我们相信神会把她带回来，我们相信我们会成为她生命的一部分，但是我们从来没有想到神给我们的更多，多过我们所期待的。

我鼓励大家思考这个问题：谦卑和敬重，能够开启我们的生命。

结束祷告：

我知道有些人被深深的触动。也许你的心被感动了，你还不是一个基督徒，你还不认识耶稣基督，你还没有经历神对你的爱。耶稣说：任何接受他的人，任何邀请基督进入他们生命的人，他就赐他们权柄成为神的儿女；赦免他们的罪，他们与神就有了一个新的关系，神是他们的天父，他们也成为神家庭中的一员。

今天做这个决定非常重要，我们这样决定了，在我接受耶稣基督之前，我的生命一团糟。

主的美好就在眼前，你自己何不就做决定。

如果今天你还不认识耶稣基督，为何不现在就接受神的爱，让他进到你的生命，成为一个基督徒？与神连结是一个个人的选择。

也许你曾经与神相连，但是因为失望，有些事情没有像你想象的那样，你退缩了；今天，你需要重新建立与神的关系。只要诚实，谦卑。

谦卑就是承认我的状况。你要承认：神，我今天需要回到你身边。

______________________________________________________

由Dawn Seow撰写的相关文章 （www.citynews.sg – 2012年6月16日）

这是一个曲折的爱情故事，有欢笑也有悲伤。就像罗密欧与朱丽叶一样，他们这一对年轻的情侣因各自的家庭背景被迫分开。更糟糕的是，他们将一个婴儿带到了世上，并决定放弃她。但是这个故事，不像其他的故事那样，它因为有神的介入，让悲剧变为欢笑，有了一个开心的结局。

1962年，Mike和Joy Connell刚刚进入大学，他们在学校相识并相爱。但是因为Connell来自天主教家庭，而Joy的家庭则是严格的兄弟会成员。两个家庭非常反对他们两人的关系。

“我们两个都是家中的老大，我们面对来自家庭很大的压力，”Joy回忆道。“当时，新教和天主教之间的关系非常敌对，我们双方的家庭也因为宗教信仰的不同强烈反对我们在一起。我们不断的分手和复合。”

六年后，他们犯了一个大错，Joy怀孕了。

“我非常的震惊，害怕和羞愧，心想：我该怎么办？我们做了一个愚蠢的决定，藏在了一个秘密的地方，不让家里人知道。我们离开家，生下孩子，任何人都不知道。”她说。

当Joy决定生下孩子的时候，她也决定不要她。“我们把她送给别人领养。那时在新西兰，法律规定如果我们放弃孩子，把她交给人领养，我们将永远见不到她。法律禁止两个家庭相互接触。”

感谢主，神最终让这一对年轻人结婚了，因为他们的父母觉得他们在一起的时间确实很长了。即使Joy感到她有些远离耶稣基督，认识他们的人还在不断的为他们祷告。“有一天我听到神对我说他（Connell）有一颗爱主的心，可以嫁给他。”Joy说。“我感到了很大的释放。”

为了安慰双方家庭，他们决定举行一个由天主教神父和圣公会牧师联合主持的仪式。Connell说，“结婚当天我将生命献给主耶稣；我知道如果我们生命中没有耶稣，将永远不会有幸福。于是在结婚仪式前，我决志信靠主耶稣基督。”

这就是Mike和Joy Connell的爱情故事，他们现在是新西兰哈斯丁市海湾教会的主任牧师。他们的名字对于城市丰收教会并不陌生，Connell是国际知名的讲员，他在发预言，释放，以及内心医治方面有特别的恩赐和能力，他的服事大大的医治了那些受伤和破碎的心灵。

六月二日和三日的周末，当他在城市丰收教会服事的时候，他的家人与城市新闻分享了他和Joy如何跟他们第一个被送给别人收养的孩子重归于好的故事。

和好始于医治

“来到主的面前，我意识到将孩子送给人收养是多么错误的决定。我相信即使法律不允许，但主一定会为她的回来开路。于是我彻底的悔改，承诺如果她能够回来，不管怎样，我一定将整件事情公开，因为罪是隐藏的，悔改就是完全公开。

结婚八年后，Connell夫妇接受神的呼召开设了一个基督教学校，同年他们也开始牧养教会。生活还在继续，他们从未谈起过去的伤痛对他们的影响。

“有一段时间，我们跟几位已婚夫妇一起共事，我们决定开设一个重建婚姻的服务，帮助夫妻稳定双方婚姻的基础，重新回顾彼此的承诺。”Joy继续分享说，“那也是我们第一次看到我们生命的基础因为过去的伤痛而受到了很大的损害。处理了这些伤痛之后不久，禁止原生父母与已被收养孩子见面的法律修改了。神知道法律要修改，他让我们预备好。”

Connell夫妇写了一封信给社会福利部门，非常有意思的是，几乎就在同一时间，那位领养了他们孩子的母亲也写了一封信给他们，想要了解一些事情。

Josephine Brown，Connell家的女儿，当时已经十八岁了，正在大学一年级学习。通常情况下，社会福利机构是不会让他们在孩子年满二十一岁前与她接触的，但是因为是双方的意愿，他们被允许开始联系。

Josephine说，“我刚出生的时候，带着夹板在床上呆了十个星期。我父母收养我的时候，医生也不知道我会不会残疾。我的爸爸妈妈跟他们的父母说要收养我的时候，他们强烈反对。”

不像其他被领养的孩子，Josephine从小就知道她是被领养的。“没什么好坏，我知道这是个事实。小时候我总是想知道我是谁。在纽西兰，很多人有不同的背景，像来自英国，爱尔兰或者威尔士的人总在说他们是半个爱尔兰人或者半个英国人，我从来不知道我是什么人。”

当Josephine发现她的妈妈收到了一封来自社会福利部的信，知道她的亲生父母还有六个孩子的时候，她的脑海里充满了各种问题：他们是谁？他们长什么样？他们像不像我？“真的好蠢，当你没有任何信息的时候，脑子里就装满了各种各样的想象。”

终于，那一年，Josephine完成考试后飞来与Connell全家见面；她到的那一天正是Connell的生日。

“在她到来的前一个星期，我们在教会公开讲述了我们的全部故事。这之后，很多有问题的人开始分享他们的过去，将他们以前的秘密公开。”Joy说道。

当Connell将他们家的过去洁净之后，神让一个念头进入他的脑海中。“我们在教会坦承之后，神问我，你知道如果你不跟整个教会分享后果会是怎样吗？我说，不，我根本没有那样想过。神说，如果你将这件事隐藏，是对所有接受你领导的人信任的背叛；他们总有一天会知道真相的。”

谦卑和敬重

多年来，Connell家一直与Josephine保持着联系。她不是在一个基督教的家庭中长大的，但是每次来探望他们的时候，她都会和他们一起去教会。

当Josephine在教会被神的同在感动的时候，是否要成为一名基督徒以及对家庭忠诚的问题一直困扰着她。“我成长的过程中，总是想要取悦我的父母亲，我不希望这个决定是为了使别人开心，我想完全为了我自己。所以我用了很长时间不再顾虑我的父母以及Mike和Joy的想法。”

当Josephine遇见她未来的先生Steve Brown后，改变开始了。Steve与Josephine分享了他在一次教会崇拜中得医治的见证。“我想，这人可以帮助我灵命成长，这是很重要的。如果我跟错了一个人，可能就更难成为基督徒了。”

他们的婚礼在2008年10月举行，这是Josephine的亲生父母和养父母两个家庭的首次见面。“我希望我爸爸可以领我走上台，Mike来主持婚礼。”

但是事情并不像大家希望的那么顺利，Connell还记得在婚礼预演时的紧张气氛。“我跟神说，‘神啊，求你帮助我解决这个问题。’我没有得到回答，但是到了婚礼当天的早上，神启示我要从敬重的原则出发”。

Josephine的父母和兄弟姐妹也很不安，每个人都在想：他会说些什么。我也在想：我要怎么说？

神启示我由敬重Josephine和她的父母开始，因为当你自己谦卑下来，敬重别人的时候，他们的心就会变得柔和。我讲到尊重她的父母，尊重她的兄弟，尊重Josephine和Steve。神的同在临到了，紧张的气氛消失了，人们的心融化了；你能感到爱的流动。这就是我向神所求的：破除所有的壁垒。人们开始流泪哭泣，真是太好了。

在婚礼仪式后的招待会上，她妈妈站起来讲话，大家又开始流泪；她曾经面对因为她自己的母亲反对她收养Josephine所引起的冲突，但是在她内心深处，她知道这个孩子是没问题的。”

去年复活节，Josephine和Steve在家中接受Connell的施洗。“我们现在扎下根，学习如何祷告，与神同行。”Josephine笑着说。

人难免犯错，但是就像这个故事一样，神总是愿意帮助我们将痛苦变成欢笑。

从流产/流产愈合

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神的心脏是充满怜悯医治和恢复受损的生命。堕胎是门口的悲伤和恶魔般的束缚，这在很大程度上是在保密和否认隐藏。当真相面对一个孩子的生命已采取的痛苦是巨大的。现实即将来临，有一个儿子或女儿在天堂谁，我们会遇到一片天！

探索如何把有意义的愈合谁失去了一个孩子在子宫内的家庭，使他们免受奴役和折磨。耶稣来不是要谴责 - 他要拯救，医治，拯救，恢复。

教会应传播盼望的信息。福音就是人们盼望的信息，是神对我们的爱，他愿意帮助我们。作为基督徒，无论周围发生什么，我们要明白我们需要帮助别人，耶稣基督来就是要帮助人的。

我想到一个很重要的经文，耶稣来不是来定人的罪，而是来使人因他得救，拯救人脱离罪恶。耶稣爱你，他从不定我们的罪，不管你身边发生什么，上帝的心一直伸向你，爱你，恢复你。

身为一个基督徒，不要为国家许多的问题害怕，要学习了解他们，服事他们。没有不能谈论的议题。事实上，我们应该谈论任何议题，带着爱的灵，盼望的灵，安慰人们。

今天我要做的是跟大家分享一些感人的事情，我以前没有分享过，但最近上帝对我的心说话。昨晚和今早我还在挣扎，我想讲别的东西，可是你当聆听上帝，他对我们已经有安排。今天的信息可能直接影响你，也可能间接影响你。希望大家有一颗敞开的心，爱的灵。因为我们为人祷告，看见上帝带来极大的突破。

我们来看诗篇127篇3节。我们来过这里很多次，经常跟大家分享我们的故事。大部分人知道我们有一个大家庭，七个儿女，21个孙子女。在这个过程中，学习到很多，其实我们还有两个孩子，在天上。我今天要谈的是堕胎和流产。

我希望给大家带来盼望，我希望还不认识耶稣的人，明白到上帝爱你，想要帮助你，想要打破你生命中罪的权势。然后，我要为三组人祷告，我们一起祷告，免得任何人觉得尴尬。我们希望爱的灵，上帝的大能能帮助你。我要为所有曾经堕胎的人，或跟曾经堕胎的人接触过的人，或流产的人，无法生育的人，一起祷告。我们绝不会开口问你是什么样的问题，希望大家自由的到前面来，相信上帝会帮助你。

诗篇127篇3节说“儿女是耶和华所赐的产业。所怀的胎，是他所给的赏赐。” 。所以孩子是产业，是上帝赐给我们的，每个人里面都有这个灵，是从神而来。圣经说神是灵。人与人结合会创造生命。人与神同工，上帝把灵放在孩子身上，孩子成为有灵的活人。上帝渴望孩子分享他给的命定，上帝的渴望是有许多的子女，这是神的心。上帝的计划就是接触这地，帮助人，就是上帝的人。

当我们生在这世上，因为罪与神隔绝。上帝渴望来到我们中间，饶恕我们的罪，将他的灵放在我们生命中，赐给我们永恒的命定。这一切由回应基督开始。

三天前，我读到一篇有关中国的新闻。故事发生在潍坊市，一对年青夫妇，他们已经有了一个孩子，正怀着第二个孩子。一天早晨，公安冲进家门，拦住这位丈夫，抓走了妻子，直接把她带到了医院。当时妻子怀孕六个月了，他们威胁她说要把她的丈夫关进监狱。而丈夫也四处找寻妻子，六个小时后才找到，但她已经被打了流产针。

深深感动我的是，他们两个人因为失去孩子而忧伤，这没有人可以安慰他们，我的心都碎了。我将分享一些我个人的见证。我们再看看神的话语，希望为人们带来盼望。

很多年前，我的妻子经历过两次流产。身为一个男人，当时我不明白这对女人意味着什么。我们四处服事，感到很大的压力。我们已经有五个孩子，我的妻子从没有抱怨过这两次流产。她从医院回来，我们继续我们的生命。没有多想什么。我们又有了两个孩子，Peter和Sarah。

多年后，我在另一个教会服事，为一位女士祷告。我问她发生了什么事情，她说她流产了，当我祷告时，她开始哭泣，我也感到非常忧伤，与她一起哭泣。我想太不可思议了，我一定是感受到了神的爱。

同一天，我去到另一个教会，同样的事情又发生了。我为一位流产的女士祷告，我又感受到了很深的忧伤。当你感觉到什么时，就要问自己，我的感受是什么？我为什么会有这样的感受？回到家后，我开始祷告，上帝跟我说，你忧伤不是因为她，而是因为你自己失去的两个孩子。一个男孩，一个女孩。你从未停止过悲伤，即使你并未意识到你的损失。

我开始很忧伤，上帝就告诉我该怎么做。我回到家跟妻子说“上帝跟我说到我们流产的两个孩子”。Joy说“上帝也跟我说话。他们是一个男孩，一个女孩。我给他们起名为Timothy和Catherine。”我说，神告诉我在家里应该怎么做，于是，像往常一样，我们全家一起进餐。Joy把两朵漂亮的花放在餐桌上。我跟孩子们分享说“我们家有七个孩子，实际上，应该是九个，还有两个在天上。”

有趣的事情发生了，流产后出生的两个孩子开始深深的哭泣。我感到他们灵里的悲伤。在他们的头脑里都不知道我们失去了两个孩子，悲伤一直由我妻子承担了。现在他们知道他们失去了一个哥哥和一个姐姐。他们的心中充满了忧伤。忧伤的灵在他们周围。

所以，我妻子的流产的忧伤，传到了后面的两个孩子身上。我们就按手在他们身上，为他们祷告。而其它的孩子们则没有这个问题。这就告诉我们，在母腹中的胎儿能感觉到母亲的忧伤。当忧伤没有解决时，就传递给后面出生的孩子。

我们做了一件事：为流产的孩子取名字。这很重要，不要只把他们当成一个东西。对于我，就好像我的妻子掉了一颗牙，很痛一样。在心中没有感到作为一个父亲，失去了一个孩子。

所以我认识到，当流产和堕胎发生时，会有很深的忧伤，处理忧伤的过程之一就是认出他们，为他们取名字，将他们释放在神的手中。不只是“一件事情”发生了，失去了“某样东西”，他真实的是一个活着的灵，她的身体没有成型，他的家没有长久，他们不得不离开。我妻子讲的很美“他就像一朵玫瑰花苞，没有绽放。”很多年来，我们为很多人祷告，在这方面帮助他们。

第二个见证。今年初我在新加坡讲道，教导关于与神相遇。当时我正在服事我们的敬拜小组，帮助他们与神相遇。在这以前的一天，教会结束后，我们的两个很忧伤的孩子分别跟我们说，他们今天聚会时看到了他们失去的哥哥和姐姐在天堂，还能清楚的描述他们。我必须承认我有些嫉妒。而当今年我讲与神相遇时，教导人们如何专注耶稣，用你的想象力想像圣经中是如何描述他的，让你的心伸向他 ，默想耶稣。这些年青人也都与神相遇。我感到不应只带领聚会，我也要进去。

于是我开始默想耶稣，不想其它任何事情。突然我进入灵里。没有看到耶稣，圣灵向我显出了两个人。一位年青男士和一位年青女士。我很惊讶，这不是我预期的。他们同时叫我爸爸。我更吃惊了，他们说“我们有很多关于天上的事情要告诉你。”然后我意识到耶稣站在我身旁，怀里抱了个婴儿，他就是我们十二月流产失去的孙子。突然，我又看到一个小孩，叫我爷爷，我能看出他的容貌，是我们另外的孩子失去的孩子。

我的注意力集中在我的儿女身上，耶稣在我身边，他们开始和我交谈，他们说“我们要给你看一些东西。”突然，我的眼开了，我看到在很大的一片地方，到处是孩子。不同的年龄，从婴儿到小小孩，数不清的孩子。他们说“这些都是流产和堕胎的孩子，在天上他们每人都有专属的地方，天使在照看他们，他们在那里受教育，长大。

我注意到，我失去的孙子的大小正是他相应的年纪。我也留意到我失去的两个孩子也是他们相应的年龄。我看到周围流产和堕胎的孩子们，神向我显示的全部都是中国孩子，我非常震惊。

耶稣对我说，他来不是要定任何人的罪，我能感受到他的爱。他说“每个人都有他的母亲，她因为失去孩子而忧伤，我要医治她们。”他没有说他们做了什么，他只是说“我爱她们，想医治她们，因为她们忧伤。”他说“我要你开始在这方面学习和预备，准备一些DVD，在中国讲道。”我的心深深的触动了。不光是因为看到了这些孩子，而是感受到了他们母亲的忧伤。我感受到耶稣的心深深的忧伤。

最近我们到中国，有人私下找到我。我不敢相信，他们说他们曾经堕胎，需要帮助。上帝大大地服事医治他们，赐这对夫妇安慰。这以后，我们每到一个地方，总有人要求我们为他们祷告。

我想与大家分享一些经文。问题最根本的关键是，在神的眼里，每个孩子即使还在母腹中都是一个活人，有他的命定。有时人们认为，在母腹中的孩子，他不懂任何事情，他不是一个人，只是一件东西，还很不方便。

我想告诉大家，在圣经中，神的看法是怎样的。孩子在怀孕前，神就知道他们，他们的品格，他们的生命的定命，不管他在母腹中长到什么阶段，在神的眼里，他都是一个活人，有他的命定，是神认识的人。

士师记十三章2至5节说“那时有一个琐拉人，是属但族的，名叫玛挪亚。他的妻不怀孕，不生育。耶和华的使者向那妇人显现，对他说，向来你不怀孕，不生育，如今你必怀孕生一个儿子。所以你当谨慎，清酒浓酒都不可喝，一切不洁之物也不可吃。 你必怀孕生一个儿子，不可用剃头刀剃他的头，因为这孩子一出胎就归　神作拿细耳人。他必起首拯救以色列人脱离非利士人的手。”

请留意，孩子在怀孕前，神就知道他是个男孩，神的计划是这个男孩会拯救以色列人，最重要的一点就是这位母亲在怀孕时应该怎样照顾自己，换句话说，神关心对未出生的孩子的任何负面影响。所以说，怀孕前，神就知道这个孩子和他的命定。

再看列王记上十三章1至2节“那时有一个神人奉耶和华的命从犹大来到伯特利。耶罗波安正站在坛旁，要烧香。神人奉耶和华的命向坛呼叫，说，坛哪、坛哪，耶和华如此说，大卫家里必生一个儿子，名叫约西亚。他必将丘坛的祭司，就是在你上面烧香的，杀在你上面，人的骨头也必烧在你上面。”

国家败坏，到处充斥着拜偶像，神派遣先知来警告他们。他说“我要为这世界带来一个孩子，他的名字叫约西亚。他要恢复整个国家。”你知道这个预言之后多久约西亚才出生的呢？360年！即360年前，在未怀孕，未出生前，神已经为他命名，为他安排了命定。

360年后，当他的父母有了这个孩子后，根本不记得当时的预言，他们只有一个念头，“为这个孩子取名为约西亚。”他们甚至不了解他们叫他约西亚，成就了神一早的计划。神为这个孩子360年前定命时，他的父母都还没有出生。上帝看见了未来。他说“360年后，有一对夫妇，尽管父亲非常败坏，拜撒旦，但我还是要将一个孩子带到这个家庭，他会拯救整个国家。他的名字叫约西亚。所以，神为孩子命名，安排他们的命定，在他们怀孕前就认识他们了。

另外一段经文，耶利米书一章4节5节“耶利米说，耶和华的话临到我，说，我未将你造在腹中，我已晓得你，你未出母胎，我已分别你为圣。我已派你作列国的先知。”多么神奇，神说在胚胎还未成型前，我就知道这将是谁。即你是个灵，在你住的人的家还没成型，我就认识你，知道你的全部，我已经将你分别出来，为你安排了命定。甚至你的母亲还不知道你，什么胚胎都没有，我已经将我的灵放入你中，你将成为列国的先知。

你注意到还在孩子成型前，神已认识他，为他安排命定，多么神奇！以赛亚书四十九章1节中也说：以赛亚也是在母腹中形成前，神就已经认识他了。

诗篇139篇16节，大卫说“我未成形的体质，你的眼早已看见了。你所定的日子，我尚未度一日，你都写在你的册上了。 ”大卫的意思是：当我还是小小的胚胎时，我还未成型前，你就看到我了。不仅如此，在你的书上，已经写下了我的一生，我甚至还没有过一天。 他的意思是，神已视他为一个人，一个灵，一个有命定的人。在他出生前，为他安排了一切。

这些经文强调在我们怀孕前，神已经知道我们，在我们怀孕时，神的灵进入到这个孩子，即使未成型，神爱他，为他安排了命定，即使他出生在一个困难的家庭环境中。

约西亚的父亲是个拜撒旦的，但上帝仍然安排他的命定，神看这个未出生的孩子是在母腹中的人，是活生生的人，有名字，有命定，有计划的生命，真实奇妙！

圣经中有很多次，神讲到未出生的孩子，讲到撒迦利亚和伊丽莎白。伊丽莎白是不能生育的，神对撒迦利亚说“你知道你的妻子不能生育，不能有孩子吗？”他说“我知道。”神说“你将会有一个孩子。”他说“她太老了，怎么生孩子？”他与神争执，但神说“不要争论。你们会有一个孩子，他将是名先知，为主预备道路。”圣经非常清楚的写明，神在他们怀孕和出生前很久就认识他们，为他们安排好一生的计划。

马太福音一章21节“他将要生一个儿子。你要给他起名叫耶稣。因他要将自己的百姓从罪恶里救出来。”再次说明，在孩子怀孕前身就认识他，知道他的名字，为他安排了命定。

你又如何呢？以弗所书二章10节中“我们原是他的工作，在基督耶稣里造成的，为要叫我们行善，就是神所预备叫我们行的。”请留意这里告诉我们每一个人都是神的独特的创造，没有任何人与你一样，你的指纹是独有的，你的DNA是独有的，每一样东西都是独有的。在你出生前，神已为你安排好了要走的路，你有一个目的，就是为了行善，在你开始前，神为你的一生就计划好了。阿门！

另一处经文路加福音一章39至44节中，神告诉我们在我们出生前就认识我们，知道我们的名字，知道我们长什么样子。我们还在母腹中，他就关心我们，为我们的一生安排了命定。

我最近读到一本书，他们对母腹中的胎儿用超声波进行了大量的研究。100年前，人们认为人的特征形成于大脑，个性，知识，意识等。如果一个人的个性，特征和感情是在大脑形成的，就得出结论是，如果大脑未发育完成前，他就不是个真正的人，你就可以随意处理掉他。

但是圣经告诉我们的完全不同。最新的研究也显示，人的心在大脑之前发育。圣经说“你的一生由心发出。”最新的研究发现，孩子在母腹中就能了解周围发生的事情，虽然他的大脑还未形成。经过大量的研究，这本书中得出结论：未出生的母腹中的孩子，完全了解周围的事情，即使他的大脑还未发育。他就是个人了。

最后，作者得出结论，孩子有第六感官。他讲的就是灵。他们的大脑，听觉还未发育好，他的灵知道周围发生的事情，他发现孩子能够辨认出父母的声音，能够分辨出争执，了解周围发生的事情。这也是希伯来文化中的一部分，当妇女怀孕后，要躲在一个安静的地方几个月，以使母腹中的孩子能够在平安和祥和的环境中生长。这些都是现代的研究发现。

圣经路加福音一章39至41节说“那时候马利亚起身急忙往山地里去，来到犹大的一座城。进了撒迦利亚的家、问以利沙伯安。” 以利沙伯怀孕六个月，婴儿还没有完全成型，“ 以利沙伯一听马利亚问安，所怀的胎就在腹里跳动，以利沙伯且被圣灵充满。”谁说腹中的婴儿不了解周遭发生的事情？你看，以利沙伯正怀孕，马利亚来探望她，圣灵通过她预言。以利沙伯听到了，婴儿也听到了，他大力的踢动，满有喜乐。因为这是他的命定，要成为弥赛亚的先知，还在母腹中，他就有了命定。他知道了这些安排，感受到了圣灵，他跳跃，大力地踢。

这就是他们最新研究发现的。婴孩在母腹中会感受到灵的影响。而早在2000年前，圣经就写明了。还在在母腹中就了解周围的环境，了解上帝的同在，了解母亲和她的感受，了解父亲。

我花时间分享这些事情的原因，是因为我要谈到堕胎的影响。圣经讲明，魔鬼对孩子非常有敌意。从创世纪三章15节开始，魔鬼对儿女就充满敌意。因为神的应许是：从妇女生出的孩子中，有一位将摧毁撒旦，成为世界的拯救。

当我们查考圣经历史，就会发现邪灵攻击孩子的例子。不管是在母腹，还是刚出生。出埃及记中，在上帝拯救之前，所有两岁以下的男婴被杀。大卫王之后，亚她利雅杀死了所有的王室小孩，只留下一个。耶稣时期，谋杀的灵临到希律王，又杀掉了所有不到两岁的孩子。

魔鬼常常攻击孩子，母腹是冲突之地。当流产发生时，神美好的计划突然终止了。堕胎发生时，孩子的生命被夺走了，不好的事情发生了，有巨大的影响。当我们为人祷告时，留意到很多人非常痛苦，但却不明白为什么。

圣经中讲述了流产发生的几个来由。 重点是，神的计划不是流产，而是生养众多。我们查考经文，分现流产的发生是因为拜偶像，有时咒诅临到家中，发生流产。有时是因为家中有乱伦的事发生，有时是因为人们交鬼产生的。

我不详细讲解所有经文，但圣经中非常清楚的告诉我们，上帝的心意是要我们生养众多，所以流产发生时，有属灵的原因，也有自然身体上的情况。我们对家里上次的流产求问神时，我的一个女儿从神那里得到话语，“是因为大脑没有正常发育成型”，我女儿和她丈夫经历了多年的忧伤。忧伤也会有生理上的原因。我们生活在一个堕落的世界。有时是属灵的问题。有时因为母亲做了内在誓言，不要生孩子。

不管原因如何，结果总是忧伤的，当母亲怀胎又失去了孩子，就会产生强烈的忧伤。男人不容易了解。女人的生命以孩子为中心，孩子是从她的生命中得着生命，当失去了一个孩子，就会有巨大的忧伤。

我想强调堕胎 的影响，有时当我们辅导人时，如果没有挖到问题的根源，问题就永远不会解决。当我研究这个领域时，发现不管在任何地方，人们得出同样的结论。当女人堕胎时，她必须让自己相信这不是真实的人。可能是医生告诉她，这没什么，只是一次医疗手术；也可能是因为害怕，或者身体条件不好，她就是不肯承认发生的事情。

最重要的一点就是否认他是个人。母亲否认他是个人，不过只是一次身体上的手术，就像拔一颗牙一样。但是，这不是真相。

堕胎的人有很多常见的问题。现在最普遍认同的症状是堕胎后创伤症。我在这里列出来这些问题，然后再探讨如何释放人们。

• 羞愧。他们会感到羞愧和隐秘，没有自信。

• 罪咎。不能脱离的罪咎感。

• 忧郁。时常忧郁，悲伤和痛哭，却没有明显的原因。请记住，如果你以谎言遮盖真相，拒绝接受一个生命被夺走，你不会明白为何会悲伤，如果他不是什么东西，我有什么好悲伤的呢？

• 自杀倾向。

• 自恨。

• 睡眠失调

• 各样回想的画面。女人会突然记起过去痛苦的经历，又回到震惊和悲伤中去。

• 强烈渴望拥有一个替代的孩子。下意识中希望有一个孩子可以弥补失去的孩子。这个被称为“周年现象”，在堕胎日或孩子的出生日，母亲时常开始忧伤哭泣，却不明白为什么。

• 宠爱，溺爱另一个孩子。

• 酒精和毒品的问题。

• 自我惩罚的行为。我应该被惩罚，可能自我伤害如割伤自己，虐待的关系，混乱的关系。

• 可能有身体的疾病。经常流血，或习惯性流产。

• 常常有很深的罪恶感。我活下来了，可孩子付上了代价。很可怕的感觉。

最近一位女士请我为她祷告。我问她“你的问题是什么？”她说“我时常流血，有十二年之久了。我们非常想要一个孩子却没有。”我问，“你有堕胎吗？”她说“有过四次。”我带着爱对这位女士说“你的家庭有四个孩子，但他们都在天上。这是因为你的行为造成的。当别人告诉你这只是一个简单的手术时，他们在撒谎，这就是你问题的根源，你和你的丈夫现在没有一个孩子，原来你们可以拥有的孩子却失去了。”

她开始不停地哭泣，我们与她分享上帝爱她，饶恕她。于是她在神里面得恢复，她的心得医治。我祷告下次再见到她时，她会有一个孩子。今年我到城市丰收教会，一位女士和她的丈夫抱着一个婴儿来到，她说“你要看看我们的宝宝，神迹的宝宝。你走后12个月，我们有了第一个孩子。怀孕非常困难。我自己以前内在誓言说再也不要生孩子了。每次怀孕都会流产。我听了你的教导，才知道自己做了内在誓言。我弃绝这样的誓言，请求上帝祝福我的肚腹，三个月后，我就怀孕了，就是这个宝宝。”实际上不到三个月，大约是一个月。

你可以看到，生命中有属灵的关联。女性经历的很多问题，她们不追溯到堕胎，她们假装这不是什么严重的问题。

耶利米书31章15节说“耶和华如此说，在拉玛听见号咷痛哭的声音，是拉结哭他儿女不肯受安慰，因为他们都不在了。”所以，我们如何得自由？处于这种情况的人，第一步就是转向耶稣基督。约翰福音三章16节说“神爱世人，甚至将他的独生子赐给他们，叫一切信他的，不至灭亡，反得永生。”神不是来定人的罪，而要世人因他得救。你的任何痛苦，耶稣都能够拯救医治。

可以看出，堕胎的后果远比我们认识到的严重。它影响到母亲，肚腹中灵里的部分，影响到下一个出生的孩子，影响到家庭，原本可以做父亲的男人失去了孩子，祖父母失去了孙子，以后出生的兄弟姊妹也受到创伤的影响。

我记得一位妇女带着孩子来，我问“什么问题？”她说“我的孩子不肯让我喂他母奶，我每次抱他到怀里要喂他，他就开始尖叫，我们该怎么办？”我说“你有没有试图想过要打掉这个孩子？”她说“有。”我说“是不是孩子怕你，他感受到了谋杀的灵，他不敢亲近曾想害他的人。”她非常震惊，请求耶稣饶恕她，我为母亲和孩子祷告，孩子就开始亲近她了。当孩子得释放，离开恐惧和谋杀的灵，立刻他们就可以亲近了，非常明显。

怎样得自由呢？有三个方面：属灵的问题，情绪的问题，关系的问题。离开死亡进入生命，答案非常简单：

1. 我们需要面对属灵的问题。要面对真相，是我夺走了孩子的生命。大部分的母亲这样做是因为感到极大的压力。来自男朋友或丈夫的压力，家庭的压力，环境的压力，不管怎样，他们必须负责任。得释放的关键就是打破谎言。以赛亚书二十八章告诉我们，当我们以谎言遮盖自己，我们就与死亡和地狱立约。

2. 在神面前悔改，认罪。真实的来到神的话语前。约翰一书一章9节“我们若认自己的罪，神是信实的，是公义的，必要赦免我们的罪，洗净我们一切的不义。”神已经饶恕赦免了我们，我们要做的，就是领受他，

3. 饶恕。首先人们必须接受饶恕，接受神饶恕了我们。其次，饶恕自己。最后，饶恕别人。经常，女人会对孩子的父亲生气，对自己的父母生气，或对帮她做手术的人生气，对鼓励她这么做的朋友生气。有各样的怨恨和悲伤需要面对。放开饶恕他们是解决这一问题的方法。释放他离开邪灵。

认罪，饶恕，从邪灵里得释放，我们等一下会为人们释放祷告。另一方面，对人们非常有帮助的是，求问神，这是怎样的孩子？耶稣知道，上帝认识你的孩子，男孩还是女孩？聆听你的心，神会告诉你。我看到人们在进行这一步时，总是痛哭。

接下来就是给他们取名字。给他一个身份，打破谎言。你知道给孩子起名多么困难，我们花几天的时间想好一个名字。但我在整个过程中发现，上帝已经为他们命名了，我们只需要聆听。求问神，我失去的孩子的名字是什么？或是自己给孩子一个名字。

我对那位经历过四次堕胎的女士说“求神告诉你孩子是怎样的。”她很快的回答说“女孩，男孩，男孩，女孩。”我说“给他们取个名字吧。”几分钟就起好了。接下来她就开始悲伤了，意识到了她的孩子们。我说“下一步就是释放你的孩子们在神的手中。耶稣站在这里，把你的孩子交给他。你要知道，有一天，你会再见到他们。”有时，我们简短的祷告“耶稣，我将我的孩子交托给你，把他交托在你的怀中，请告诉他我对我所做的非常抱歉，我盼望再见到他。”

请留意，这一切都是打破谎言，回归真相。经常会有很多悲伤，痛苦和伤感。有时，还有破碎的关系需要修复，通往自由的路是简单的。

当然，除非是有历代遗传的因素，流产的人不用认罪，忏悔。通常我发现这样做非常有帮助。就是每次闭上眼睛，心向神敞开，求他向你显示孩子是怎样的，告诉你他的名字。现在，他不再是一个东西了，他是一个人。你会再见到你的孩子。这就是福音的盼望，孩子在天上。

当你与耶稣交通时，他就会告诉你的孩子。把你的孩子交托在耶稣手中，有一天你会再见到他们。我看到很多人得自由释放，破碎的心得医治。凭着对耶稣基督的信心，把所有的秘密，羞辱，谎言都打破，破碎心得医治。

我相信上帝会触摸很多人。让我们闭上眼晴，你要明白神爱你，耶稣来到世上，道成肉身，让我们看见天堂如何，邀请我们与他连结。我们都活在罪中，与神隔绝，我们找不到神的路。但耶稣为我们的罪死在十字架上，他从死里复活，打破了罪的权势。耶稣说，凡接待他的人，欢迎他的，相信他的，他就赐他们权柄做神的儿女。

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個人見證：收養女兒的婚禮

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這是一個曲折的愛情故事，有歡笑也有悲傷。就像羅密歐與朱麗葉一樣，他們這一對年輕的情侶因各自的家庭背景被迫分開。更糟糕的是，他們將一個嬰兒帶到了世上，並決定放棄她。但是這個故事，不像其他的故事那樣，它因為有神的介入，讓悲劇變為歡笑，有了一個開心的結局。

個人見証──養女的婚禮

邁克Mike和喬伊康奈爾Joy Connell與他們的女兒約瑟芬分享他們重歸於好的故事﹔見証當我們順服神時，神是怎樣把境況完全轉變過來的。

我要與你們分享兩個原則，然后我們將分享見証神的良善﹔見証非常良善的神，見証他帶給我們生命中的祝福，隻有祝福﹔簡直就像是個童話，讓人難以置信。

我們要與你們分享見証，並將重點放在我們是怎樣做的，從而引出要講的那些原則。神是永遠不變的，神總是好的﹔但隻有在我們自己預備好時，他的良善才會釋放﹔實際上，你必須做出決定，定位好自己，接受從神來的祝福。

定位的意思是：你呈現的狀態，或你說的話，或你做的事， 給神留出空間，讓神來觸摸你的生命。

聖經說得很清楚：我們必須相信神是一個好的神﹔我們必須相信他會來觸摸我們的生命。

我要先分享一下我們的背景，我們的日常生活﹔我們從哪裡來，是什麼讓我們來到這裡。我們還要重點講一下神怎樣奇妙地來到之前一個周末的婚禮上。

我們參加的是我們結婚以前送給別人收養的女兒的婚禮﹔對我來說，能主持婚禮，規劃婚禮的程序，安排接待的程序，這一切都讓人難以置信﹔甚至能去到那裡本身就是一個奇跡﹔但能夠很榮幸地計劃和安排這些程序，給神留出空間，更加重要。

我會先重點講述兩個原則，然后講解我們怎樣把這些原則應用在生活的各個方面﹔以及神是怎樣地信實，讓我們有如此令人難以置信的見証。

把孩子送給別人收養的故事，通常並沒有這麼好的結局，這隻是其中的一個﹔但它展示了神總是好的，因此，不管故事的結局是 什麼，神的良善永不改變。

對一些人來說，找到養父母是非常痛苦的，甚至會增加他們已經經歷的痛苦。而對我們來說，正好相反﹔我們要與大家分享一些背景資料。

兩個原則：

1. 雅各書 4：6 “神賜恩給謙卑的人。” 當聖經講到謙卑，它是指你“心裡的狀態”，你的態度﹔謙卑並不是奴顏婢膝。謙卑的意思是：你坦率地面對神，承認生命中的錯誤和失敗，不試圖掩蓋或辯解﹔這非常重要。謙卑讓 我們既看到我們生命中負面的東西，也看到潛能，就像神看到的。聖經告訴我們：神將授權給謙卑的人，就是你要定位自己，在以下方面與神達成一致： A.你的錯誤和失敗﹔對此持開放的態度。 B. 神是怎樣說你和你的生命﹔（如果他說：“你被赦免了”﹔那你就被赦免了）。謙卑指的是：我相信﹔我堅持。C.這是你的定位，是神呼召你去做的。謙卑能通過大膽而堅強地經受考驗顯明自己。對一些人來說，它看起來像是驕傲，但它不是﹔它實際上是：我與神就我是誰，我受呼召去做什麼， 與神達成一致﹔這就是謙卑。

2. 第二個原則是：尊敬的原則﹔聖經上對它的描述是負面的，羅馬書1：21 說：“因為他們雖然知道神，卻不當作神榮耀他，也不感謝他。他們的思念變為虛妄，無知的心就昏暗了”。原則是：你尊敬和感激的將走向你﹔你不敬的將遠離你。尊敬，榮譽和價值將吸引人進入你的生命﹔而不敬將讓人離開。如果你不重視金錢，它很快就遠離你﹔當你尊重它，處理得當，它就會走向你﹔生命就是這樣。“尊敬某人”的意思是：給予他們恰當的承認，位置和價值﹔它可以表現在對待他們的態度，或言語，或行為。當我們尊敬人，我們重視他們，我們把自己放在低微的位置，從而使他們被舉起。如果我們要圓滿地與神同行，享受神的祝福，我們要學習：謙卑的原則和尊敬的原則。

在三種情況下我們會尊敬人：

1. 我們尊敬他們，因為：他們所做的事﹔如果有人 做了什麼著名的事，你應該尊敬他，重視他，感激他。

2. 你應該尊敬一個人的品德，就是他是什麼樣的人。如果某人勇敢，他們可能從沒有站出來，但隻要有一刻他們在壓力下表現出勇敢，你尊敬他。

3. 我們要認同我們生命中其他人的地位和等級﹔重視他們，尊敬他們，隻因為他們的地位。這就是為什麼聖經上說：尊敬你的父母﹔你可能做的很好﹔但你也可能說：我不知道我父母是怎樣的人﹔其實沒有關系，你尊敬他們，因為：這是在你的生命中，神給他們的地位﹔如果你尊敬他們，你就會得到祝福。

兩個原則：謙卑的原則﹔就是在生命上，在神怎樣說我們上，與神達成一致，堅信神說的 是真實的。尊敬的原則﹔就是願意給人價值和適當的尊敬。你會發現這總能釋放出神的恩典。

說了這些后，我們要分享這些原則是怎樣應用在我們的生命中的﹔有關在我們結婚前發生的事，然后神怎樣解決我們生命中出現的這些問題。

[Joy Connell說] 我要和大家分享一段經文，這是主這一周讓我注意到的。“在曠野預備耶和華的路，在沙漠地修平我們神的道”。它許多年都是一個沙漠，也是神的道，因為神要來到沙漠。經上還說“一切山窪都要填滿”﹔那對我來說確實是一段非常低谷的時期：小孩被秘密的送給人收養﹔那真是一個非常低的低谷。

但經上說：“一切山窪都要填滿”。而參加她的婚禮是一個非常高的位置，真奇妙。經上說：“大小山岡都要削平”﹔對我來說，在懷孕的時候面對父母， 那曾經是一座大山，是我無法翻越的大山。上周六，我所有的家庭成員都在那裡，與我們站在一起，人很多。經上還說：“彎彎曲曲的地方要改為正直﹔高高低低的道路要改為平坦”！“耶和華的榮耀必然顯現”﹔我們看到神榮耀的顯現。“凡有血氣的必一同看見”﹔是的，婚禮上所有的人都看到了神的榮耀﹔他們不知道那是神的榮耀，但那確實是。“因為這是耶和華親口說的”﹔因為神給了我們應許，他所判定和宣稱的，就會實現。

我相信，現在是時候對你們的高山發出預言﹔我知道你們許多人正面對高山，但神能削平他們，而當他這麼做的時候，那絕對奇妙。

如果你看聖經一開始所說的，當亞當犯罪的時候，因為害怕，他躲了起來。在我們約會了七年后，有一次發生了很大的沖突。因為害怕，我採取了亞當和夏娃同樣的方法﹔他們把自己隱秘地躲藏起來，我想，這是一個可以仿效的辦法。

我也有內在誓言，就是過去你自己告訴自己的，讓自己捆綁在其中。當遇到危機的時候，你就按照這已經在心底編制好的程式運作。盡管它們不是最好的辦法，但這是你的辦法，因為你已經告訴自己要怎麼做。

我從來也沒有准備誘騙什麼人與我結婚，或經歷在我的教會看到的：先懷孕后結婚的羞愧。

我的內在誓言告訴我：“沒可能我會去到那裡”﹔但實際發生的是：內在誓言的控制力極強，它在你的心靈周圍筑起高牆﹔這就是我當時情況。此外，我自己的辦法就是仿效﹔Mike剛才說謙卑是“承認神的辦法”﹔但如果你不轉向神，你有各種自己認為可以仿效的“好辦法”。

仇敵也會出幾個“好主意”，當你聽從了它，按照你自己的辦法去仿效，基本上可以帶來即時但短暫的安慰。你保護了自己，但所有這些辦法帶來隔離和更大的痛苦，進一步的傷害，以及更多的捆綁﹔但這就是當時1969年時的情況。

[Mike Connell說] 在我們結婚前，我還不是基督徒，並不認識神。當Joy懷孕后，我們決定把這女孩送給別人收養﹔這是個非常壞的選擇，非常錯誤的決定﹔它是在壓力下做出的決定，因為沒有能力去勇敢地承受。因此，在犯了一個錯誤后，我們緊接著又犯了第二個錯誤。聖經上說，如果你想掩蓋事情，你絕不會成功﹔所以，此后的許多年我們忍受了極大的傷心和痛苦。

我們從來沒有忘記這個女兒，沒有忘記為她禱告，總想知道她怎麼樣了。你無法放下這些事，這簡直成了你生活的一部分。后來，我來到主的面前，完全認罪悔改，就我所做的，與神達成一致：要為過錯負責﹔為了Joy，要勇敢承受拒絕這個孩子所帶來的后果。

我那天在主面前誓言（有些誓言是非常好的），公開地認罪悔改﹔我說“不管我們現在處在生命的那個階段，我知道有一天你會把這個孩子帶回來，因為你是神﹔不是我們有權這樣，因為我們已經放棄我們的權力﹔而是因為神是良善的，你會帶她回來”。

我心裡知道，我堅信，她會回來﹔所以，當我認罪悔改后，我向神說：“你帶她回來的那一天，不管我會是什麼身份和地位，我將接受她以任何身份回到我們的生命中﹔我們將給予過去應該給她而沒給她的，認可她，愛她，歡迎她。

謙卑看起來就是這樣﹔你實際上完全掉轉過來，在需要發生什麼事上與神達成一致。

幾年后我們來到這裡﹔神向我們講了生命中的問題，我們有一個婚禮更新或婚姻更新的服務。

[Joy Connell說] 教堂仍然很小﹔當我們結婚時，隻能在護士的小禮拜堂﹔我們有：一個天主教的神父，聖公會的牧師（與一個兄弟會的結了婚，對我這方面的事情很理解）。很奇妙，神的同在就臨到了。

讓雙方家庭都接受的婚姻看起來似乎是完全不可能的﹔但Mike同宿舍的人離開神學院當了天主教的神父，其中一個摔斷了腿住進惠靈頓醫院，在那裡與一個長老會的護士相愛，從而給我們創造了一個先例﹔他從主教（或其它什麼人）那裡獲得特許，可以結婚。

所以，我們隻是遵循他的先例﹔在看起來毫無可能的情況下，神為我們開了一條路。結婚后，我們意識到，許多事已經改變﹔我們已經支離破碎，僅僅存活下來，找到返回神那裡的路。我們還認識到，那時教會裡有其它人也像我們一樣﹔他們來到神那裡，他們的情況完全改變，准備開始全新的婚姻﹔所以，我們與12對夫婦一起，交談了三個星期﹔我們談論婚姻的基礎，准備再次經歷婚禮﹔而在那裡，我第一次揭開了心中的秘密。

我從來沒有告訴我父母我有一個女兒，但在這個小組裡，我們講述了自己的背景﹔我們決定：這是我們放下包袱的時候了﹔或許我們應該寫信給福利部門，看看能不能與失去的女兒恢復聯系。

你知道嗎？神真是太好了。我們女兒的養母Carol覺得她的女兒有權知道她的來歷，因此她也寫了信給福利部門﹔我們雙方的信同一天到達了福利部門。因為符合雙方的意願，福利部門給了我們有關的資訊，我們就開始了聯系。

對我來說，這真是很難﹔當你已經掩蓋了什麼事，已經否認了她，而突然要面對現實﹔我真是無法適應，甚至不能看到她的照片。我打算把這些事封閉起來，把它嚴嚴實實地用大石頭壓住﹔神說：推開這個石頭，不要走到這一步﹔我意識到它是死亡，它是丑陋，它是痛苦﹔但當你真正把石頭推開，看著照片，你想：這實際上是一個人。

她的名字叫Josephine﹔我想：這有點像一個教名﹔神提醒我約瑟的故事：與他所有的兄弟分離，后來一起團圓。

面對現實是一件大事，尤其當你已經在否認中生活了18年時﹔但我們必須真正推開石頭，揭開蓋子﹔然后你就感到自己極其脆弱，完全要依靠神。

而這正是他要我們做的，不再掩飾曾經掩飾的東西﹔在創世紀的時候，他們身上曾經有無花果的樹葉遮蓋，但他們實際上要脫下它，來接受皮制的遮蓋，如同耶穌基督在十字架上給我們的預備。對我來說，這也是非常脆弱的一個環節。

[Mike Connell說] 所以，謙卑的問題再一次出現﹔我們必須面對我們個人生活中的問題，把各樣事情理順，並認識到我們的生命受到深深的傷害﹔然后來到主的面前，承認這些﹔ 主清楚的告訴我：你要理順這些。

我不得不與Joy一道理順這些﹔我去找到她的父親，在他面前理順這些事﹔我們要清理我們做錯的﹔當你這樣做的時候，當你按照神說的去做時，他就給你祝福，他就給你恩典。

[Joy Connell說] 是的，我記得我把父母請來，我說：“我要和你們說一些事，…”﹔我把他們帶到我知道的最好的餐館 Old Flame，讓他們坐下。我告訴他們我向他們隱藏的事情，並為此向他們深深的道歉，請求他們原諒。

[Mike Connell說] 我們改正錯誤，這實際上是尊敬他們﹔哪裡有不尊敬的地方，就要在那裡恢復尊敬﹔這有很大的不同。

[Joy Connell說] 然后我們寫信給Josephine，向她道歉﹔我們兩個都為對她的拒絕，以及因此給她的生活造成的影響，表示了謙意，並請求她原諒。然后，我們決定要歡迎她。我們邀請她來家裡住﹔這也是一個奇跡。她當時正在學牙醫，現在已經是Whakatane的一個牙醫了。她當時在奧塔哥學牙醫正學了一半，她正在學一個假期課程，我們邀請她在假期課程結束后到家裡來。

當然，當你正牧養著一個教會，當你已經有了六個孩子，你不可能對教會什麼也不說就在下星期天又帶一個孩子來。但這個教會非常了不起﹔在她來之前的周日，我們在教會站起來，分享了我們的見証。當時的一些人今天還在這裡，我記得你們的樣子。在當天的崇拜結束時，神真是太好了，所有人的密室都打開了，所有人的丑事都揭開了﹔神感動了大家，帶給大家極大的醫治﹔作為一個教會大家庭，你們很好地回應了我們。我們邀請她來到家裡，來的那天剛好是Mike 44 歲的生日。

[Mike Connell說] 怎麼這麼巧？

[Joy Connell說] 那是她說好要來的日子。

[Mike Connell說] 她不知道我的生日，但來的那天剛好是我的生日。

那星期我們渡過了一個美好的時光﹔這以后，她聯系上了我們，漸漸認識了我們，也愛我們。每次回來都哭，與我們的家庭緊緊地聯系在了一起。

直到有一天，一個男孩想與她結婚﹔他尊敬我，來征得我的許可，那真是讓我驚訝。我沒有任何權力﹔你知道，當你把孩子送給人收養，你就沒有了權力﹔而且在過去一段日子，甚至都失去了聯系，沒有辦法聯系﹔現在，這一切都過去了。

當我們把孩子送給人收養時，神對我說話﹔我心裡知道她會回來，但看不出有任何可能的辦法，因為我們之間沒有任何聯系，你不能獲得聯系方法﹔后來，法律改變了，讓這成為可能﹔她回來了，我們能重新建立聯系﹔然后，這男孩向我請求讓他們結婚，這是我極大的榮幸。

她也尊敬我，讓我幫助安排結婚事宜。她曾經來過我們家的婚禮，非常喜歡﹔她說：我不知道那是什麼，但我就想要這樣的婚禮。

這樣，非常奇妙，我就有了一個新角色，參與策劃婚禮接待﹔因此，就做出一些安排，讓神進來。我教她怎樣去尊敬她的養父母﹔在她離開他們的照顧，建立新的家庭時，怎樣向他們說話，說些什麼。

[Joy Connell說] 那時，盡管Mike有機會幫她准備婚禮，教她怎樣尊敬她的養父母，當然那會立刻帶來眼淚﹔Mike與他們並沒有感情上的聯系，但他列出了他們為她做出的許多事，以及怎樣尊崇感謝他們。

同一時刻，我在去台灣的飛機上，正看著一個收養故事的電影﹔看完后，我深受感動，我決定給Josephine寫一封信。

寫到她的婚禮時，我在信中贊揚了她的勇氣，贊揚了她走出的每一步﹔我也為自己當時的決定后悔﹔但在那以后做出的決定都是非常正確的：與Mike結了婚，把我們的心交給了主，把我們的生命建立在他的上面，用這些來鼓勵她。

但我忘記把寄出去﹔所有，我到了台灣在酒店安頓下來以后，我拿酒店的信紙寫了信，交給前台幫我寄出。

信在我們婦女大會開會的那天送到了，剛好是她婚禮前一天的疼惜日，她邀請我與她一同過疼惜日，但我要參加婦女大會，去不了﹔但就在她准備離開去過疼惜日的時候，她收到了我的信，這讓她感覺我與她在一起。

[Mike Connell說] 我們去到婚禮﹔婚禮的排練非常的困難，你必須面對問題。

我們與主同行時， 如果我們做出了不好的決定和選擇，他不會讓我們免於承擔后果﹔而你如果要成長，你就必須知道，做了壞的決定和選擇，就會有壞的后果﹔盡管神會赦免我們，但我們仍需承擔由此產生的后果。

當然，對我來說，最大的挑戰就是在婚禮上，另一個男人會牽著我的女兒走過長廊﹔那對我真是非常難，你會看到，我過一陣會給你們看幾張照片。（附視頻）

前一夜，我非常痛苦﹔我們排練了婚禮，並與他們待了一段時間，但沒有神的同在﹔感覺非常別扭，非常不舒服﹔排練結束后，我去了海邊的沙灘，在神面前哭泣。

我說：神啊，這真是太難了，你要幫助我們。

看起來將沒有真正的價值和尊敬﹔你知道新西蘭人是怎樣的，他們那奇怪的幽默，那種奚落人似的幽默。

我非常想要神的認可，神的同在不，來到那地方﹔但似乎就是不行﹔那晚見了她的家人，排練了婚禮﹔回到家，我感到非常的苦惱﹔我對神說：神啊，你必須幫助我﹔你要告訴我怎樣才能讓明天的婚禮與今天的排練不同。

我可能花了大概兩個小時，等待神的回復，知道在那個特殊的場合要怎樣說怎樣做﹔

那真是一個非常奇妙，不同尋常的感受﹔我們一邊說，一邊會給大家看一些照片，讓你們多多少少也能感受一些。它是最不同尋常的感受，“另一個”男人帶著我的女兒走下長廊﹔處理好因此產生的情緒，是很大的挑戰﹔但這是我多年前的決定產生的后果，我必須承受。

我知道神會給恩典﹔他做的就是：他讓我講尊敬，真正展現出尊敬，用尊敬來啟動整個婚禮。

因此，我們讓Kate 和 Andrew （我們的女婿和媳婦）一起唱了一首歌﹔在他們開始唱的時候，氣氛開始改變﹔不是因為他們選的歌，而是因為他們內在的生命，氣氛開始改變，神的同在臨到那裡﹔你能感到氣氛的改變，當然，每個人都看著我：他會說什麼呢？ “你會說什麼呢？你會說多少呢？”

我們同情她的養父母﹔因為最開始，我們覺得或許我們家隻來兩個人參加婚禮，但Jo要所有人都來﹔所以，我們對說什麼“很敏感”﹔但神准確地告訴我該說什麼。

[Joy Connell說] 小男孩Alex是Josephine的小兒子。

[Mike Connell說] 那是她的養父母﹔這是他們在婚禮上把我女兒交給新郎Steve。

我感到神告訴我要真正尊敬她的養父母，因為他們會感到不舒服﹔謙卑就是知道自己的位置，適應恰當的位置﹔有時你可以是管事的，但有時你必須當仆人。你要看到神給你的位置，並自己選擇這個位置﹔我花了相當時間去尊崇他們﹔直接了當地向他們說，尊崇他們。

對他們來說，收養了這樣一個孩子，是一個非常艱難的選擇。

[Joy Connell說] 她是先天性髖關節脫位。真是令人驚訝﹔這個媽媽聲稱是無神論者，但她看到我們這個孩子說：我知道她會沒事的﹔10個月的時候，她站起來走路了。

[Mike Connell說] 在醫院的時候，沒有人要她，我們不知道為什麼。

她的養母本不想要這個孩子，因為她以為這孩子是個瘸子﹔但她的心裡覺得她應該要這個孩子﹔因此，我尊崇她選擇歡迎Josephine進入她的生命。

我們尊崇了孩子受到的教育和他們家庭生活的環境﹔我們尊崇了他們鼓勵孩子找到我們，知道這對他們來說是非常困難的﹔

[Joy Connell說] 我們還尊崇了他們為我們開放了他們家。

[Mike Connell說] 並歡迎我們去他們家相聚，與他們共度時光。

[Joy Connell說] 我們與Josephine見面后沒多久，就與他們第一次見面，當時感覺很奇怪﹔我們去到新西蘭南島的最頂端，兩對父母，加上Josephine，一起吃飯。邀請我們來到他們家是一件大事﹔但讓我覺得有趣的是：吃飯吃到一半，她的養母向我傾訴了她的心聲，講了她的感受，心情﹔然后突然她說：嗨，你完全是個陌生人，我不知道為什麼跟你講這些。

[Mike Connell說] 我做的就是尊崇他們﹔尊崇她的兄弟們，我們全部家庭成員都與我們同來，支持我們，沒有一個漏掉。我尊崇了Steve，為他來找我征求允許的恰當舉動﹔然后是Josephine，為她尋找我們的勇氣和意願，並歡迎我們進入她的生命中和心底裡。

我非常清楚地指出：我們來這裡不是因為我們“有權”來，而是特別的恩典，由於她善意的決定。

我與他們分享了“智慧建立房屋”﹔用智慧建立婚姻﹔用智慧建立各樣東西，關系，生意，及事工。

但智慧是要從神的眼光來看問題，做選擇﹔我承認我曾做了不好的選擇﹔我們曾生活在痛悔之中﹔但現在，我們很高興，神為我們開路讓這一天臨到﹔我們那天能去到那裡就是一個奇跡。

[Joy Connell說] 當神要恢復事情時，是輕而易舉的﹔他有著寬廣的胸懷。

在婚禮之前，Mike和我去了尼日利亞慶祝我們25年結婚紀念﹔一個尼日利亞先知把他瘦骨伶仃的手指放在我的臉上，並讓我知道了以下的信息：在神的眼裡，Josephine就像一個孤兒。

我的意思是，那個家庭真是太好了﹔我們兩個都是老師，他們兩個也都是老師﹔她在鄉村長大，有自己的小羊小牛當寵物，受到非常好的教養。

唯一所缺的是神。她完全不知道神的事，因此在神的眼裡，她是一個孤兒。我想：喔，神啊，你心裡裝著那些不認識你的孤兒﹔寧願在世上一無所有，也要認識耶穌，他是一切。

所以，這讓我感觸很多，與神在孤兒上達成一致，明白了神的心裡裝著孤兒，而我們關心孤兒的心也是由此而來的。我很高興你們今天在坐的許多人贊助孤兒，神是站在他們一邊的。

神很傷心，因為Josephine對神的事一無所知。

[Mike Connell說] 到了接待的時候，我們不知道會怎樣。當我們進去的時候，我們注意到Jo做了一件有趣的事。

她坐在主桌，安排兩對父母坐在她的對面，他們得到同等的待遇﹔真是奇妙！人是辦不到的。然后，她站起來，尊重收養她的養父母家庭，感謝他們﹔這之后，她尊重了我們。

心裡非常感動﹔當你尊重別人時，能打開人的心靈。我們再多看幾張照片，非常幸福的一對。

原本她媽媽說她沒有什麼要說的。開始時她突然又說：“我要說幾句。”

尊重人就會拉近人們彼此間的距離，也會與神靠近。當你尊重別人的時候，上帝的同在就會悄悄降臨。所以她站起來開始講話，我們非常吃驚。

[Joy Connell說] 是的，前一晚真的很尷尬，她根本都沒有正面看我，她一直在忙啊，忙的。

[Mike Connell說] 顯然很痛苦。

[Joy Connell說] 在婚禮上被敬重，使她消除了疑慮。在Josephine敬重她之后，她站起來說話，她本來沒打算要說的，她看起來那麼漂亮。

她說出了她心底的話，我想Josephine從來都沒有聽到她的心底話﹔她尊重她每一個孩子，其中三個是領養的，一個是親生的。他們每一個人都是非常寶貴的。

她尊重Josephine，講述她為他們的生活帶來了無比的歡樂，他們擁有的所有快樂的時光。最讓我震驚的是…（哭泣）

[Mike Connell說] 她說每年的聖誕節或者是Josephine的生日的時候，他們總想到失去她的那個家庭，他們非常感恩，我們的損失是他們的收獲。

當然你可以體會我們當時的感受，因為每一年我們都會想起我們失去的女兒。她那樣說非常觸動我們兩人的心。我們兩人都站起來了，我說：沒有一年我們不思念我們的女兒，我們每年為她禱告，這是我們的重大損失。

我們很感激Josephine願意讓我們重新回到她的生命中，真的非常感動。你可以聽到周圍哭泣的聲音，我甚至都不敢向四周看，因為到處都有人在抹眼淚。我們意識到整個人群當中，有婚姻破碎的，有被收養的，有失去孩子的，有混合家庭的，有各式各樣的問題，當人們感到被尊重的時候，他們的心打開了。

[Joy Connell說] 這樣神就可以進來了。

[Mike Connell說] 神進來做工。

[Joy Connell說] 尊重人就可以讓神降臨，這是一個大能的經歷。

Josephine不希望我們在招待會上講太多，如果她的父母不講話，我們也會相應的去做。但是她的父母雙方都講的很好，很長﹔她也讓我們有機會再講兩句，我們不會講太多，我們隻是尊重她，她看起來多麼的漂亮，感謝她歡迎我們一家人。

關於她的未婚夫Steve，有兩件奇妙的事情。首先，Josephine第一次來我們教會拜訪我們之后，回到她的住處。當她不在的時候，她的一位室友受洗了。她說，我知道你們說什麼，我去我親生父親的教會，我知道你們說了什麼。

第二件事是，Josephine在Steve出現之前還有過幾段關系，她的感覺是：我就知道你們喜歡這個人。因為有一天，Steve讓一位像Mike這樣的人為他受傷的背部禱告，他躺倒在地上足足有二十分鐘，起來后完全得醫治了。所以他真實的感受到了神的大能。Josephine說：我知道你們會喜歡他！

婚禮前一個星期的禮拜六，Steve在水深28米的海裡潛水，氧氣用完了，他快速的上浮，然后就得了潛函病(深海潛水員因浮出水面太快而感到關節劇痛﹑ 呼吸困難的症狀)，被送進減壓室直到結婚前兩天才出來。

我真高興Steve能跟我們在一起，感謝神保守了他。我不知道這是不是邪靈在做工，這種事情非常困難。神為每一個人都有計劃和命定，我相信它正在展開。

我尊重他所做的，我們沒有權利要求成為神偉大計劃的一部分，是的，我們沒有權利。但是神是這樣的美好，他賜恩典給我們，讓我們有機會認識他，敬重他，成為他計劃的一部分。

[Mike Connell說] 我們分享了一些故事，它對人們的影響是驚人的。還有很多事情我不便公開，它們是非常寶貴的經驗。

但是有一件事令人非常感動，Jo的兒子Alex，七歲了，他在婚禮前跟Steven談話，Steven問他，“你想讓我成為你的繼父嗎？”他說，“不想，我已經有一個爸爸了，我不需要一個繼父，我就叫你Steve吧。”

但是婚禮過后，神的同在觸摸了人的心。Alex問:“為什麼有人哭啊？”Jo說，“當人們講出他們心裡的話，他們就會感動。”Alex說，“我也想說幾句。”

於是這個七歲的孩子拿起了麥克風，他敬重他的媽媽，說她非常漂亮，對他多麼的好。然后他又敬重Steve，他說：Steve，我願意你成為我的繼父，我願意你在我生命中有這個位置。

[Joy Connell說] 他坐下來后就開始流眼淚。

[Mike Connell說] 是的，他坐下來哭起來了。還有很多這樣的事情發生。

還有一件對我非常重要的事情。雖然在婚禮前感覺有些尷尬，但是婚禮后，Josephine的媽媽走過來跟我說：謝謝你教導她將婚禮辦的這麼好。我感謝她的認同，其實我們所做的就是教導她尊重人的原則。

當Josephine一路這樣做的時候，神的同在降臨，使整個事件變得不尋常。感謝神，有些事情我們從來都是做不到的。

我們相信神會把她帶回來，我們相信我們會成為她生命的一部分，但是我們從來沒有想到神給我們的更多，多過我們所期待的。

我鼓勵大家思考這個問題：謙卑和敬重，能夠開啟我們的生命。

結束禱告：

我知道有些人被深深的觸動。也許你的心被感動了，你還不是一個基督徒，你還不認識耶穌基督，你還沒有經歷神對你的愛。耶穌說：任何接受他的人，任何邀請基督進入他們生命的人，他就賜他們權柄成為神的兒女﹔赦免他們的罪，他們與神就有了一個新的關系，神是他們的天父，他們也成為神家庭中的一員。

今天做這個決定非常重要，我們這樣決定了，在我接受耶穌基督之前，我的生命一團糟。

主的美好就在眼前，你自己何不就做決定。

如果今天你還不認識耶穌基督，為何不現在就接受神的愛，讓他進到你的生命，成為一個基督徒？與神連結是一個個人的選擇。

也許你曾經與神相連，但是因為失望，有些事情沒有像你想象的那樣，你退縮了﹔今天，你需要重新建立與神的關系。隻要誠實，謙卑。

謙卑就是承認我的狀況。你要承認：神，我今天需要回到你身邊。

______________________________________________________

由Dawn Seow撰寫的相關文章 （www.citynews.sg – 2012年6月16日）

這是一個曲折的愛情故事，有歡笑也有悲傷。就像羅密歐與朱麗葉一樣，他們這一對年輕的情侶因各自的家庭背景被迫分開。更糟糕的是，他們將一個嬰兒帶到了世上，並決定放棄她。但是這個故事，不像其他的故事那樣，它因為有神的介入，讓悲劇變為歡笑，有了一個開心的結局。

1962年，Mike和Joy Connell剛剛進入大學，他們在學校相識並相愛。但是因為Connell來自天主教家庭，而Joy的家庭則是嚴格的兄弟會成員。兩個家庭非常反對他們兩人的關系。

“我們兩個都是家中的老大，我們面對來自家庭很大的壓力，”Joy回憶道。“當時，新教和天主教之間的關系非常敵對，我們雙方的家庭也因為宗教信仰的不同強烈反對我們在一起。我們不斷的分手和復合。”

六年后，他們犯了一個大錯，Joy懷孕了。

“我非常的震驚，害怕和羞愧，心想：我該怎麼辦？我們做了一個愚蠢的決定，藏在了一個秘密的地方，不讓家裡人知道。我們離開家，生下孩子，任何人都不知道。”她說。

當Joy決定生下孩子的時候，她也決定不要她。“我們把她送給別人領養。那時在新西蘭，法律規定如果我們放棄孩子，把她交給人領養，我們將永遠見不到她。法律禁止兩個家庭相互接觸。”

感謝主，神最終讓這一對年輕人結婚了，因為他們的父母覺得他們在一起的時間確實很長了。即使Joy感到她有些遠離耶穌基督，認識他們的人還在不斷的為他們禱告。“有一天我聽到神對我說他（Connell）有一顆愛主的心，可以嫁給他。”Joy說。“我感到了很大的釋放。”

為了安慰雙方家庭，他們決定舉行一個由天主教神父和聖公會牧師聯合主持的儀式。Connell說，“結婚當天我將生命獻給主耶穌﹔我知道如果我們生命中沒有耶穌，將永遠不會有幸福。於是在結婚儀式前，我決志信靠主耶穌基督。”

這就是Mike和Joy Connell的愛情故事，他們現在是新西蘭哈斯丁市海灣教會的主任牧師。他們的名字對於城市豐收教會並不陌生，Connell是國際知名的講員，他在發預言，釋放，以及內心醫治方面有特別的恩賜和能力，他的服事大大的醫治了那些受傷和破碎的心靈。

六月二日和三日的周末，當他在城市豐收教會服事的時候，他的家人與城市新聞分享了他和Joy如何跟他們第一個被送給別人收養的孩子重歸於好的故事。

和好始於醫治

“來到主的面前，我意識到將孩子送給人收養是多麼錯誤的決定。我相信即使法律不允許，但主一定會為她的回來開路。於是我徹底的悔改，承諾如果她能夠回來，不管怎樣，我一定將整件事情公開，因為罪是隱藏的，悔改就是完全公開。

結婚八年后，Connell夫婦接受神的呼召開設了一個基督教學校，同年他們也開始牧養教會。生活還在繼續，他們從未談起過去的傷痛對他們的影響。

“有一段時間，我們跟幾位已婚夫婦一起共事，我們決定開設一個重建婚姻的服務，幫助夫妻穩定雙方婚姻的基礎，重新回顧彼此的承諾。”Joy繼續分享說，“那也是我們第一次看到我們生命的基礎因為過去的傷痛而受到了很大的損害。處理了這些傷痛之后不久，禁止原生父母與已被收養孩子見面的法律修改了。神知道法律要修改，他讓我們預備好。”

Connell夫婦寫了一封信給社會福利部門，非常有意思的是，幾乎就在同一時間，那位領養了他們孩子的母親也寫了一封信給他們，想要了解一些事情。

Josephine Brown，Connell家的女兒，當時已經十八歲了，正在大學一年級學習。通常情況下，社會福利機構是不會讓他們在孩子年滿二十一歲前與她接觸的，但是因為是雙方的意願，他們被允許開始聯系。

Josephine說，“我剛出生的時候，帶著夾板在床上呆了十個星期。我父母收養我的時候，醫生也不知道我會不會殘疾。我的爸爸媽媽跟他們的父母說要收養我的時候，他們強烈反對。”

不像其他被領養的孩子，Josephine從小就知道她是被領養的。“沒什麼好壞，我知道這是個事實。小時候我總是想知道我是誰。在紐西蘭，很多人有不同的背景，像來自英國，愛爾蘭或者威爾士的人總在說他們是半個愛爾蘭人或者半個英國人，我從來不知道我是什麼人。”

當Josephine發現她的媽媽收到了一封來自社會福利部的信，知道她的親生父母還有六個孩子的時候，她的腦海裡充滿了各種問題：他們是誰？他們長什麼樣？他們像不像我？“真的好蠢，當你沒有任何信息的時候，腦子裡就裝滿了各種各樣的想象。”

終於，那一年，Josephine完成考試后飛來與Connell全家見面﹔她到的那一天正是Connell的生日。

“在她到來的前一個星期，我們在教會公開講述了我們的全部故事。這之后，很多有問題的人開始分享他們的過去，將他們以前的秘密公開。”Joy說道。

當Connell將他們家的過去潔淨之后，神讓一個念頭進入他的腦海中。“我們在教會坦承之后，神問我，你知道如果你不跟整個教會分享后果會是怎樣嗎？我說，不，我根本沒有那樣想過。神說，如果你將這件事隱藏，是對所有接受你領導的人信任的背叛﹔他們總有一天會知道真相的。”

謙卑和敬重

多年來，Connell家一直與Josephine保持著聯系。她不是在一個基督教的家庭中長大的，但是每次來探望他們的時候，她都會和他們一起去教會。

當Josephine在教會被神的同在感動的時候，是否要成為一名基督徒以及對家庭忠誠的問題一直困擾著她。“我成長的過程中，總是想要取悅我的父母親，我不希望這個決定是為了使別人開心，我想完全為了我自己。所以我用了很長時間不再顧慮我的父母以及Mike和Joy的想法。”

當Josephine遇見她未來的先生Steve Brown后，改變開始了。Steve與Josephine分享了他在一次教會崇拜中得醫治的見証。“我想，這人可以幫助我靈命成長，這是很重要的。如果我跟錯了一個人，可能就更難成為基督徒了。”

他們的婚禮在2008年10月舉行，這是Josephine的親生父母和養父母兩個家庭的首次見面。“我希望我爸爸可以領我走上台，Mike來主持婚禮。”

但是事情並不像大家希望的那麼順利，Connell還記得在婚禮預演時的緊張氣氛。“我跟神說，‘神啊，求你幫助我解決這個問題。’我沒有得到回答，但是到了婚禮當天的早上，神啟示我要從敬重的原則出發”。

Josephine的父母和兄弟姐妹也很不安，每個人都在想：他會說些什麼。我也在想：我要怎麼說？

神啟示我由敬重Josephine和她的父母開始，因為當你自己謙卑下來，敬重別人的時候，他們的心就會變得柔和。我講到尊重她的父母，尊重她的兄弟，尊重Josephine和Steve。神的同在臨到了，緊張的氣氛消失了，人們的心融化了﹔你能感到愛的流動。這就是我向神所求的：破除所有的壁壘。人們開始流淚哭泣，真是太好了。

在婚禮儀式后的招待會上，她媽媽站起來講話，大家又開始流淚﹔她曾經面對因為她自己的母親反對她收養Josephine所引起的沖突，但是在她內心深處，她知道這個孩子是沒問題的。”

去年復活節，Josephine和Steve在家中接受Connell的施洗。“我們現在扎下根，學習如何禱告，與神同行。”Josephine笑著說。

人難免犯錯，但是就像這個故事一樣，神總是願意幫助我們將痛苦變成歡笑。

從流產/流產癒合

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神的心臟是充滿憐憫醫治和恢復受損的生命。墮胎是門口的悲傷和惡魔般的束縛，這在很大程度上是在保密和否認隱藏。當真相面對一個孩子的生命已採取的痛苦是巨大的。現實即將來臨，有一個兒子或女兒在天堂誰，我們會遇到一片天！

探索如何把有意義的癒合誰失去了一個孩子在子宮內的家庭，使他們免受奴役和折磨。耶穌來不是要譴責 - 他要拯救，醫治，拯救，恢復。

教會應傳播盼望的信息。福音就是人們盼望的信息，是神對我們的愛，他願意幫助我們。作為基督徒，無論周圍發生什麼，我們要明白我們需要幫助別人，耶穌基督來就是要幫助人的。

我想到一個很重要的經文，耶穌來不是來定人的罪，而是來使人因他得救，拯救人脫離罪惡。耶穌愛你，他從不定我們的罪，不管你身邊發生什麼，上帝的心一直伸向你，愛你，恢復你。

身為一個基督徒，不要為國家許多的問題害怕，要學習了解他們，服事他們。沒有不能談論的議題。事實上，我們應該談論任何議題，帶著愛的靈，盼望的靈，安慰人們。

今天我要做的是跟大家分享一些感人的事情，我以前沒有分享過，但最近上帝對我的心說話。昨晚和今早我還在掙扎，我想講別的東西，可是你當聆聽上帝，他對我們已經有安排。今天的信息可能直接影響你，也可能間接影響你。希望大家有一顆敞開的心，愛的靈。因為我們為人禱告，看見上帝帶來極大的突破。

我們來看詩篇127篇3節。我們來過這裡很多次，經常跟大家分享我們的故事。大部分人知道我們有一個大家庭，七個兒女，21個孫子女。在這個過程中，學習到很多，其實我們還有兩個孩子，在天上。我今天要談的是墮胎和流產。

我希望給大家帶來盼望，我希望還不認識耶穌的人，明白到上帝愛你，想要幫助你，想要打破你生命中罪的權勢。然后，我要為三組人禱告，我們一起禱告，免得任何人覺得尷尬。我們希望愛的靈，上帝的大能能幫助你。我要為所有曾經墮胎的人，或跟曾經墮胎的人接觸過的人，或流產的人，無法生育的人，一起禱告。我們絕不會開口問你是什麼樣的問題，希望大家自由的到前面來，相信上帝會幫助你。

詩篇127篇3節說“兒女是耶和華所賜的產業。所懷的胎，是他所給的賞賜。” 。所以孩子是產業，是上帝賜給我們的，每個人裡面都有這個靈，是從神而來。聖經說神是靈。人與人結合會創造生命。人與神同工，上帝把靈放在孩子身上，孩子成為有靈的活人。上帝渴望孩子分享他給的命定，上帝的渴望是有許多的子女，這是神的心。上帝的計劃就是接觸這地，幫助人，就是上帝的人。

當我們生在這世上，因為罪與神隔絕。上帝渴望來到我們中間，饒恕我們的罪，將他的靈放在我們生命中，賜給我們永恆的命定。這一切由回應基督開始。

三天前，我讀到一篇有關中國的新聞。故事發生在濰坊市，一對年青夫婦，他們已經有了一個孩子，正懷著第二個孩子。一天早晨，公安沖進家門，攔住這位丈夫，抓走了妻子，直接把她帶到了醫院。當時妻子懷孕六個月了，他們威脅她說要把她的丈夫關進監獄。而丈夫也四處找尋妻子，六個小時后才找到，但她已經被打了流產針。

深深感動我的是，他們兩個人因為失去孩子而憂傷，這沒有人可以安慰他們，我的心都碎了。我將分享一些我個人的見証。我們再看看神的話語，希望為人們帶來盼望。

很多年前，我的妻子經歷過兩次流產。身為一個男人，當時我不明白這對女人意味著什麼。我們四處服事，感到很大的壓力。我們已經有五個孩子，我的妻子從沒有抱怨過這兩次流產。她從醫院回來，我們繼續我們的生命。沒有多想什麼。我們又有了兩個孩子，Peter和Sarah。

多年后，我在另一個教會服事，為一位女士禱告。我問她發生了什麼事情，她說她流產了，當我禱告時，她開始哭泣，我也感到非常憂傷，與她一起哭泣。我想太不可思議了，我一定是感受到了神的愛。

同一天，我去到另一個教會，同樣的事情又發生了。我為一位流產的女士禱告，我又感受到了很深的憂傷。當你感覺到什麼時，就要問自己，我的感受是什麼？我為什麼會有這樣的感受？回到家后，我開始禱告，上帝跟我說，你憂傷不是因為她，而是因為你自己失去的兩個孩子。一個男孩，一個女孩。你從未停止過悲傷，即使你並未意識到你的損失。

我開始很憂傷，上帝就告訴我該怎麼做。我回到家跟妻子說“上帝跟我說到我們流產的兩個孩子”。Joy說“上帝也跟我說話。他們是一個男孩，一個女孩。我給他們起名為Timothy和Catherine。”我說，神告訴我在家裡應該怎麼做，於是，像往常一樣，我們全家一起進餐。Joy把兩朵漂亮的花放在餐桌上。我跟孩子們分享說“我們家有七個孩子，實際上，應該是九個，還有兩個在天上。”

有趣的事情發生了，流產后出生的兩個孩子開始深深的哭泣。我感到他們靈裡的悲傷。在他們的頭腦裡都不知道我們失去了兩個孩子，悲傷一直由我妻子承擔了。現在他們知道他們失去了一個哥哥和一個姐姐。他們的心中充滿了憂傷。憂傷的靈在他們周圍。

所以，我妻子的流產的憂傷，傳到了后面的兩個孩子身上。我們就按手在他們身上，為他們禱告。而其它的孩子們則沒有這個問題。這就告訴我們，在母腹中的胎兒能感覺到母親的憂傷。當憂傷沒有解決時，就傳遞給后面出生的孩子。

我們做了一件事：為流產的孩子取名字。這很重要，不要隻把他們當成一個東西。對於我，就好像我的妻子掉了一顆牙，很痛一樣。在心中沒有感到作為一個父親，失去了一個孩子。

所以我認識到，當流產和墮胎發生時，會有很深的憂傷，處理憂傷的過程之一就是認出他們，為他們取名字，將他們釋放在神的手中。不隻是“一件事情”發生了，失去了“某樣東西”，他真實的是一個活著的靈，她的身體沒有成型，他的家沒有長久，他們不得不離開。我妻子講的很美“他就像一朵玫瑰花苞，沒有綻放。”很多年來，我們為很多人禱告，在這方面幫助他們。

第二個見証。今年初我在新加坡講道，教導關於與神相遇。當時我正在服事我們的敬拜小組，幫助他們與神相遇。在這以前的一天，教會結束后，我們的兩個很憂傷的孩子分別跟我們說，他們今天聚會時看到了他們失去的哥哥和姐姐在天堂，還能清楚的描述他們。我必須承認我有些嫉妒。而當今年我講與神相遇時，教導人們如何專注耶穌，用你的想象力想像聖經中是如何描述他的，讓你的心伸向他 ，默想耶穌。這些年青人也都與神相遇。我感到不應隻帶領聚會，我也要進去。

於是我開始默想耶穌，不想其它任何事情。突然我進入靈裡。沒有看到耶穌，聖靈向我顯出了兩個人。一位年青男士和一位年青女士。我很驚訝，這不是我預期的。他們同時叫我爸爸。我更吃驚了，他們說“我們有很多關於天上的事情要告訴你。”然后我意識到耶穌站在我身旁，懷裡抱了個嬰兒，他就是我們十二月流產失去的孫子。突然，我又看到一個小孩，叫我爺爺，我能看出他的容貌，是我們另外的孩子失去的孩子。

我的注意力集中在我的兒女身上，耶穌在我身邊，他們開始和我交談，他們說“我們要給你看一些東西。”突然，我的眼開了，我看到在很大的一片地方，到處是孩子。不同的年齡，從嬰兒到小小孩，數不清的孩子。他們說“這些都是流產和墮胎的孩子，在天上他們每人都有專屬的地方，天使在照看他們，他們在那裡受教育，長大。

我注意到，我失去的孫子的大小正是他相應的年紀。我也留意到我失去的兩個孩子也是他們相應的年齡。我看到周圍流產和墮胎的孩子們，神向我顯示的全部都是中國孩子，我非常震驚。

耶穌對我說，他來不是要定任何人的罪，我能感受到他的愛。他說“每個人都有他的母親，她因為失去孩子而憂傷，我要醫治她們。”他沒有說他們做了什麼，他隻是說“我愛她們，想醫治她們，因為她們憂傷。”他說“我要你開始在這方面學習和預備，准備一些DVD，在中國講道。”我的心深深的觸動了。不光是因為看到了這些孩子，而是感受到了他們母親的憂傷。我感受到耶穌的心深深的憂傷。

最近我們到中國，有人私下找到我。我不敢相信，他們說他們曾經墮胎，需要幫助。上帝大大地服事醫治他們，賜這對夫婦安慰。這以后，我們每到一個地方，總有人要求我們為他們禱告。

我想與大家分享一些經文。問題最根本的關鍵是，在神的眼裡，每個孩子即使還在母腹中都是一個活人，有他的命定。有時人們認為，在母腹中的孩子，他不懂任何事情，他不是一個人，隻是一件東西，還很不方便。

我想告訴大家，在聖經中，神的看法是怎樣的。孩子在懷孕前，神就知道他們，他們的品格，他們的生命的定命，不管他在母腹中長到什麼階段，在神的眼裡，他都是一個活人，有他的命定，是神認識的人。

士師記十三章2至5節說“那時有一個瑣拉人，是屬但族的，名叫瑪挪亞。他的妻不懷孕，不生育。耶和華的使者向那婦人顯現，對他說，向來你不懷孕，不生育，如今你必懷孕生一個兒子。所以你當謹慎，清酒濃酒都不可喝，一切不潔之物也不可吃。 你必懷孕生一個兒子，不可用剃頭刀剃他的頭，因為這孩子一出胎就歸　神作拿細耳人。他必起首拯救以色列人脫離非利士人的手。”

請留意，孩子在懷孕前，神就知道他是個男孩，神的計劃是這個男孩會拯救以色列人，最重要的一點就是這位母親在懷孕時應該怎樣照顧自己，換句話說，神關心對未出生的孩子的任何負面影響。所以說，懷孕前，神就知道這個孩子和他的命定。

再看列王記上十三章1至2節“那時有一個神人奉耶和華的命從猶大來到伯特利。耶羅波安正站在壇旁，要燒香。神人奉耶和華的命向壇呼叫，說，壇哪、壇哪，耶和華如此說，大衛家裡必生一個兒子，名叫約西亞。他必將丘壇的祭司，就是在你上面燒香的，殺在你上面，人的骨頭也必燒在你上面。”

國家敗壞，到處充斥著拜偶像，神派遣先知來警告他們。他說“我要為這世界帶來一個孩子，他的名字叫約西亞。他要恢復整個國家。”你知道這個預言之后多久約西亞才出生的呢？360年！即360年前，在未懷孕，未出生前，神已經為他命名，為他安排了命定。

360年后，當他的父母有了這個孩子后，根本不記得當時的預言，他們隻有一個念頭，“為這個孩子取名為約西亞。”他們甚至不了解他們叫他約西亞，成就了神一早的計劃。神為這個孩子360年前定命時，他的父母都還沒有出生。上帝看見了未來。他說“360年后，有一對夫婦，盡管父親非常敗壞，拜撒旦，但我還是要將一個孩子帶到這個家庭，他會拯救整個國家。他的名字叫約西亞。所以，神為孩子命名，安排他們的命定，在他們懷孕前就認識他們了。

另外一段經文，耶利米書一章4節5節“耶利米說，耶和華的話臨到我，說，我未將你造在腹中，我已曉得你，你未出母胎，我已分別你為聖。我已派你作列國的先知。”多麼神奇，神說在胚胎還未成型前，我就知道這將是誰。即你是個靈，在你住的人的家還沒成型，我就認識你，知道你的全部，我已經將你分別出來，為你安排了命定。甚至你的母親還不知道你，什麼胚胎都沒有，我已經將我的靈放入你中，你將成為列國的先知。

你注意到還在孩子成型前，神已認識他，為他安排命定，多麼神奇！以賽亞書四十九章1節中也說：以賽亞也是在母腹中形成前，神就已經認識他了。

詩篇139篇16節，大衛說“我未成形的體質，你的眼早已看見了。你所定的日子，我尚未度一日，你都寫在你的冊上了。 ”大衛的意思是：當我還是小小的胚胎時，我還未成型前，你就看到我了。不僅如此，在你的書上，已經寫下了我的一生，我甚至還沒有過一天。 他的意思是，神已視他為一個人，一個靈，一個有命定的人。在他出生前，為他安排了一切。

這些經文強調在我們懷孕前，神已經知道我們，在我們懷孕時，神的靈進入到這個孩子，即使未成型，神愛他，為他安排了命定，即使他出生在一個困難的家庭環境中。

約西亞的父親是個拜撒旦的，但上帝仍然安排他的命定，神看這個未出生的孩子是在母腹中的人，是活生生的人，有名字，有命定，有計劃的生命，真實奇妙！

聖經中有很多次，神講到未出生的孩子，講到撒迦利亞和伊麗莎白。伊麗莎白是不能生育的，神對撒迦利亞說“你知道你的妻子不能生育，不能有孩子嗎？”他說“我知道。”神說“你將會有一個孩子。”他說“她太老了，怎麼生孩子？”他與神爭執，但神說“不要爭論。你們會有一個孩子，他將是名先知，為主預備道路。”聖經非常清楚的寫明，神在他們懷孕和出生前很久就認識他們，為他們安排好一生的計劃。

馬太福音一章21節“他將要生一個兒子。你要給他起名叫耶穌。因他要將自己的百姓從罪惡裡救出來。”再次說明，在孩子懷孕前身就認識他，知道他的名字，為他安排了命定。

你又如何呢？以弗所書二章10節中“我們原是他的工作，在基督耶穌裡造成的，為要叫我們行善，就是神所預備叫我們行的。”請留意這裡告訴我們每一個人都是神的獨特的創造，沒有任何人與你一樣，你的指紋是獨有的，你的DNA是獨有的，每一樣東西都是獨有的。在你出生前，神已為你安排好了要走的路，你有一個目的，就是為了行善，在你開始前，神為你的一生就計劃好了。阿門！

另一處經文路加福音一章39至44節中，神告訴我們在我們出生前就認識我們，知道我們的名字，知道我們長什麼樣子。我們還在母腹中，他就關心我們，為我們的一生安排了命定。

我最近讀到一本書，他們對母腹中的胎兒用超聲波進行了大量的研究。100年前，人們認為人的特征形成於大腦，個性，知識，意識等。如果一個人的個性，特征和感情是在大腦形成的，就得出結論是，如果大腦未發育完成前，他就不是個真正的人，你就可以隨意處理掉他。

但是聖經告訴我們的完全不同。最新的研究也顯示，人的心在大腦之前發育。聖經說“你的一生由心發出。”最新的研究發現，孩子在母腹中就能了解周圍發生的事情，雖然他的大腦還未形成。經過大量的研究，這本書中得出結論：未出生的母腹中的孩子，完全了解周圍的事情，即使他的大腦還未發育。他就是個人了。

最后，作者得出結論，孩子有第六感官。他講的就是靈。他們的大腦，聽覺還未發育好，他的靈知道周圍發生的事情，他發現孩子能夠辨認出父母的聲音，能夠分辨出爭執，了解周圍發生的事情。這也是希伯來文化中的一部分，當婦女懷孕后，要躲在一個安靜的地方幾個月，以使母腹中的孩子能夠在平安和祥和的環境中生長。這些都是現代的研究發現。

聖經路加福音一章39至41節說“那時候馬利亞起身急忙往山地裡去，來到猶大的一座城。進了撒迦利亞的家、問以利沙伯安。” 以利沙伯懷孕六個月，嬰兒還沒有完全成型，“ 以利沙伯一聽馬利亞問安，所懷的胎就在腹裡跳動，以利沙伯且被聖靈充滿。”誰說腹中的嬰兒不了解周遭發生的事情？你看，以利沙伯正懷孕，馬利亞來探望她，聖靈通過她預言。以利沙伯聽到了，嬰兒也聽到了，他大力的踢動，滿有喜樂。因為這是他的命定，要成為彌賽亞的先知，還在母腹中，他就有了命定。他知道了這些安排，感受到了聖靈，他跳躍，大力地踢。

這就是他們最新研究發現的。嬰孩在母腹中會感受到靈的影響。而早在2000年前，聖經就寫明了。還在在母腹中就了解周圍的環境，了解上帝的同在，了解母親和她的感受，了解父親。

我花時間分享這些事情的原因，是因為我要談到墮胎的影響。聖經講明，魔鬼對孩子非常有敵意。從創世紀三章15節開始，魔鬼對兒女就充滿敵意。因為神的應許是：從婦女生出的孩子中，有一位將摧毀撒旦，成為世界的拯救。

當我們查考聖經歷史，就會發現邪靈攻擊孩子的例子。不管是在母腹，還是剛出生。出埃及記中，在上帝拯救之前，所有兩歲以下的男嬰被殺。大衛王之后，亞她利雅殺死了所有的王室小孩，隻留下一個。耶穌時期，謀殺的靈臨到希律王，又殺掉了所有不到兩歲的孩子。

魔鬼常常攻擊孩子，母腹是沖突之地。當流產發生時，神美好的計劃突然終止了。墮胎發生時，孩子的生命被奪走了，不好的事情發生了，有巨大的影響。當我們為人禱告時，留意到很多人非常痛苦，但卻不明白為什麼。

聖經中講述了流產發生的幾個來由。 重點是，神的計劃不是流產，而是生養眾多。我們查考經文，分現流產的發生是因為拜偶像，有時咒詛臨到家中，發生流產。有時是因為家中有亂倫的事發生，有時是因為人們交鬼產生的。

我不詳細講解所有經文，但聖經中非常清楚的告訴我們，上帝的心意是要我們生養眾多，所以流產發生時，有屬靈的原因，也有自然身體上的情況。我們對家裡上次的流產求問神時，我的一個女兒從神那裡得到話語，“是因為大腦沒有正常發育成型”，我女兒和她丈夫經歷了多年的憂傷。憂傷也會有生理上的原因。我們生活在一個墮落的世界。有時是屬靈的問題。有時因為母親做了內在誓言，不要生孩子。

不管原因如何，結果總是憂傷的，當母親懷胎又失去了孩子，就會產生強烈的憂傷。男人不容易了解。女人的生命以孩子為中心，孩子是從她的生命中得著生命，當失去了一個孩子，就會有巨大的憂傷。

我想強調墮胎 的影響，有時當我們輔導人時，如果沒有挖到問題的根源，問題就永遠不會解決。當我研究這個領域時，發現不管在任何地方，人們得出同樣的結論。當女人墮胎時，她必須讓自己相信這不是真實的人。可能是醫生告訴她，這沒什麼，隻是一次醫療手術﹔也可能是因為害怕，或者身體條件不好，她就是不肯承認發生的事情。

最重要的一點就是否認他是個人。母親否認他是個人，不過隻是一次身體上的手術，就像拔一顆牙一樣。但是，這不是真相。

墮胎的人有很多常見的問題。現在最普遍認同的症狀是墮胎后創傷症。我在這裡列出來這些問題，然后再探討如何釋放人們。

• 羞愧。他們會感到羞愧和隱秘，沒有自信。

• 罪咎。不能脫離的罪咎感。

• 憂郁。時常憂郁，悲傷和痛哭，卻沒有明顯的原因。請記住，如果你以謊言遮蓋真相，拒絕接受一個生命被奪走，你不會明白為何會悲傷，如果他不是什麼東西，我有什麼好悲傷的呢？

• 自殺傾向。

• 自恨。

• 睡眠失調

• 各樣回想的畫面。女人會突然記起過去痛苦的經歷，又回到震驚和悲傷中去。

• 強烈渴望擁有一個替代的孩子。下意識中希望有一個孩子可以彌補失去的孩子。這個被稱為“周年現象”，在墮胎日或孩子的出生日，母親時常開始憂傷哭泣，卻不明白為什麼。

• 寵愛，溺愛另一個孩子。

• 酒精和毒品的問題。

• 自我懲罰的行為。我應該被懲罰，可能自我傷害如割傷自己，虐待的關系，混亂的關系。

• 可能有身體的疾病。經常流血，或習慣性流產。

• 常常有很深的罪惡感。我活下來了，可孩子付上了代價。很可怕的感覺。

最近一位女士請我為她禱告。我問她“你的問題是什麼？”她說“我時常流血，有十二年之久了。我們非常想要一個孩子卻沒有。”我問，“你有墮胎嗎？”她說“有過四次。”我帶著愛對這位女士說“你的家庭有四個孩子，但他們都在天上。這是因為你的行為造成的。當別人告訴你這隻是一個簡單的手術時，他們在撒謊，這就是你問題的根源，你和你的丈夫現在沒有一個孩子，原來你們可以擁有的孩子卻失去了。”

她開始不停地哭泣，我們與她分享上帝愛她，饒恕她。於是她在神裡面得恢復，她的心得醫治。我禱告下次再見到她時，她會有一個孩子。今年我到城市豐收教會，一位女士和她的丈夫抱著一個嬰兒來到，她說“你要看看我們的寶寶，神跡的寶寶。你走后12個月，我們有了第一個孩子。懷孕非常困難。我自己以前內在誓言說再也不要生孩子了。每次懷孕都會流產。我聽了你的教導，才知道自己做了內在誓言。我棄絕這樣的誓言，請求上帝祝福我的肚腹，三個月后，我就懷孕了，就是這個寶寶。”實際上不到三個月，大約是一個月。

你可以看到，生命中有屬靈的關聯。女性經歷的很多問題，她們不追溯到墮胎，她們假裝這不是什麼嚴重的問題。

耶利米書31章15節說“耶和華如此說，在拉瑪聽見號咷痛哭的聲音，是拉結哭他兒女不肯受安慰，因為他們都不在了。”所以，我們如何得自由？處於這種情況的人，第一步就是轉向耶穌基督。約翰福音三章16節說“神愛世人，甚至將他的獨生子賜給他們，叫一切信他的，不至滅亡，反得永生。”神不是來定人的罪，而要世人因他得救。你的任何痛苦，耶穌都能夠拯救醫治。

可以看出，墮胎的后果遠比我們認識到的嚴重。它影響到母親，肚腹中靈裡的部分，影響到下一個出生的孩子，影響到家庭，原本可以做父親的男人失去了孩子，祖父母失去了孫子，以后出生的兄弟姊妹也受到創傷的影響。

我記得一位婦女帶著孩子來，我問“什麼問題？”她說“我的孩子不肯讓我喂他母奶，我每次抱他到懷裡要喂他，他就開始尖叫，我們該怎麼辦？”我說“你有沒有試圖想過要打掉這個孩子？”她說“有。”我說“是不是孩子怕你，他感受到了謀殺的靈，他不敢親近曾想害他的人。”她非常震驚，請求耶穌饒恕她，我為母親和孩子禱告，孩子就開始親近她了。當孩子得釋放，離開恐懼和謀殺的靈，立刻他們就可以親近了，非常明顯。

怎樣得自由呢？有三個方面：屬靈的問題，情緒的問題，關系的問題。離開死亡進入生命，答案非常簡單：

1. 我們需要面對屬靈的問題。要面對真相，是我奪走了孩子的生命。大部分的母親這樣做是因為感到極大的壓力。來自男朋友或丈夫的壓力，家庭的壓力，環境的壓力，不管怎樣，他們必須負責任。得釋放的關鍵就是打破謊言。以賽亞書二十八章告訴我們，當我們以謊言遮蓋自己，我們就與死亡和地獄立約。

2. 在神面前悔改，認罪。真實的來到神的話語前。約翰一書一章9節“我們若認自己的罪，神是信實的，是公義的，必要赦免我們的罪，洗淨我們一切的不義。”神已經饒恕赦免了我們，我們要做的，就是領受他，

3. 饒恕。首先人們必須接受饒恕，接受神饒恕了我們。其次，饒恕自己。最后，饒恕別人。經常，女人會對孩子的父親生氣，對自己的父母生氣，或對幫她做手術的人生氣，對鼓勵她這麼做的朋友生氣。有各樣的怨恨和悲傷需要面對。放開饒恕他們是解決這一問題的方法。釋放他離開邪靈。

認罪，饒恕，從邪靈裡得釋放，我們等一下會為人們釋放禱告。另一方面，對人們非常有幫助的是，求問神，這是怎樣的孩子？耶穌知道，上帝認識你的孩子，男孩還是女孩？聆聽你的心，神會告訴你。我看到人們在進行這一步時，總是痛哭。

接下來就是給他們取名字。給他一個身份，打破謊言。你知道給孩子起名多麼困難，我們花幾天的時間想好一個名字。但我在整個過程中發現，上帝已經為他們命名了，我們隻需要聆聽。求問神，我失去的孩子的名字是什麼？或是自己給孩子一個名字。

我對那位經歷過四次墮胎的女士說“求神告訴你孩子是怎樣的。”她很快的回答說“女孩，男孩，男孩，女孩。”我說“給他們取個名字吧。”幾分鐘就起好了。接下來她就開始悲傷了，意識到了她的孩子們。我說“下一步就是釋放你的孩子們在神的手中。耶穌站在這裡，把你的孩子交給他。你要知道，有一天，你會再見到他們。”有時，我們簡短的禱告“耶穌，我將我的孩子交托給你，把他交托在你的懷中，請告訴他我對我所做的非常抱歉，我盼望再見到他。”

請留意，這一切都是打破謊言，回歸真相。經常會有很多悲傷，痛苦和傷感。有時，還有破碎的關系需要修復，通往自由的路是簡單的。

當然，除非是有歷代遺傳的因素，流產的人不用認罪，懺悔。通常我發現這樣做非常有幫助。就是每次閉上眼睛，心向神敞開，求他向你顯示孩子是怎樣的，告訴你他的名字。現在，他不再是一個東西了，他是一個人。你會再見到你的孩子。這就是福音的盼望，孩子在天上。

當你與耶穌交通時，他就會告訴你的孩子。把你的孩子交托在耶穌手中，有一天你會再見到他們。我看到很多人得自由釋放，破碎的心得醫治。憑著對耶穌基督的信心，把所有的秘密，羞辱，謊言都打破，破碎心得醫治。

我相信上帝會觸摸很多人。讓我們閉上眼晴，你要明白神愛你，耶穌來到世上，道成肉身，讓我們看見天堂如何，邀請我們與他連結。我們都活在罪中，與神隔絕，我們找不到神的路。但耶穌為我們的罪死在十字架上，他從死裡復活，打破了罪的權勢。耶穌說，凡接待他的人，歡迎他的，相信他的，他就賜他們權柄做神的兒女。

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Table of Contents

Healing from Abortion, Miscarriage & Adoption   从流产/流产/收养愈合   從流產/流產/收養癒合

Personal Testimony - Adopted Daughters Wedding

Healing from Abortion/Miscarriage

The Silent Scream

个人见证：收养女儿的婚礼

从流产/流产愈合

個人見證：收養女兒的婚禮

從流產/流產癒合